- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Hi hive! This is my first time asking a question on here, so I’m sorry if I ramble 🙂
I’m getting married next September and have already asked four people to be my bridesmaids — my sister, cousin and two best friends. My fiance has also asked four people. I’m happy with our wedding party and feel like it’s a good size and that I’m not missing anyone … except maybe my FSIL?
My fiance’s brother is also engaged, so his fiance would be my FSIL. They’ve been engaged for about two years but haven’t set a date, so I’m not sure when they’re getting married. I want to want to ask her because we’ll be family soon enough, but I just don’t. We’re not very close, and I don’t think she likes me all that much because before I started dating my fiance, she was the only girlfriend in the family (they’ve been together for about four years, since they were 16). When I came along, I think she felt like I was going to replace her. My fiance and his parents have told me this.
She never talks to me when the six of us get together for family dinners, and she’ll always say she has a headache or something so she can leave the table. The night we got engaged, she was asleep, but we later found out that she was faking it so that she wouldn’t have to congratulate us.
I like her just fine, but we’re very different. We’ve never fought or had harsh words or anything, but I don’t see us being close until much further down the line.
So, should I ask her to be a bridesmaid? Part of me feels like it would be an olive branch of sorts, and might make her feel less threatened if she’s included. Plus it might be awkward at the wedding because his brother is best man and she’d just be alone during the ceremony. But part of me thinks that I will already be overwhelmed on the wedding day and don’t want to have to deal with any drama from her. My fiance says it’s up to me, but I know he would be happy if we could be closer. Plus, she got drunk one night and asked me to be her maid of honor! She doesn’t have any girlfriends, sisters, etc., so I probably am her only option.
So … what do you think I should do? I don’t have to decide right away, but I would like to figure it out by January so they can start looking at dresses.
Thanks, and sorry this was so long! 🙂