(Closed) Not sure whether to ask my FSIL to be a bridesmaid…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You mentioned in your post that she never talks to you and that you two are not close. She even went as far as “faking” being asleep so that she wouldn’t have to congratulate you when you became engaged. I think you have your answer there. Stick with the people whom you are closest with….it will save you a lot of drama in the end, trust me! Good luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

No, do not ask her. from the sounds of it, you aren’t particularly good friends and want to ask her to get to know her and make her feel included. There are plenty of better ways to get to know someone and become friends than having them stand in your wedding. I feel that if you will ask her, you will regret this decision.

You said you had your bridal party picked out and that you were happy with it. Also, you stated that you don’t think she likes you much. This is a huge red flag. Just let things continue to be the way they have been. Your relationship will develop naturally on it’s own.

Post # 7
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh no way, don’t ask her! Keep the girls you are closest to in the wedding party. She sounds pretty passive, so I don’t think she will make a stink about not being in the wedding party or whatnot.

Post # 8
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe you should ask her and it’s a way for you two to start a new relationship?  It, of course, is totally up to you, but I say family is a must.  Girlfriends, of course not, but FSILs?  I say, yes.

As far as numbers, my OCD hates it, but I, myself, have 5 and he has 4 just because I had to include FSIL (well, I didn’t have to, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  She’s going to be my sister for eternity, now!)

Good luck!  Don’t stress ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Welcome to my world!!! Do NOT ask her.  And check out my first thread here:

Future BIL’s girlfriend…

Its a little different from your story, but some of the details are eerily similar….

 

Post # 10
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My FH’s twin and his gf have been together for 5 years now (the guy says he’s still saving up for the ring, but he’s said that for a looong time now, and she’s not the type to demand a very fancy ring). So, even though they’re not engaged, I still consider her my FSIL, and for that reason (we’re not close at all), I asked her to be a BM. She sounded excited when she said yes, so I think everything will go well. I also asked FH’s older sister to be a BM, even though we’re not very close, and she sounded like she was flattered to be asked. Maybe it’s an Italian thing, but I think the wedding party should be a family thing before a friend thing. Please don’t jump all over me for saying that – it’s just my opinion!! – but that’s how I feel.

Post # 12
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@KYbride86:  No, when I first found out she wanted to be a BM, FMIL told FH that FH’s brother would be upset if she wasn’t included.  So that is the only time I “sort of” considered letting her in.  For 2 minutes.  I just did not want to look at my wedding pictures and think “I let someone bully me into doing something I didn’t want for my wedding.” for the rest of my life.

We don’t see her too often, but I think she avoided seeing me as long as she could after that.  I saw her a few weeks ago for the first time, at a big family dinner, and she made every attempt to avoid me and make herself the center of attention.  She didn’t even say hi to me when she came in, I had to go to her and start a conversation.

If she didn’t like me before (which I don’t think she did) she definitely wants nothing to do with me now.  But I figure she and FBIL will either get engaged and she’ll get over it, or they’ll break up and I’ll never see her again.

I still stick by my decision!  Its a wedding and not everyone can be happy, but YOU should be!

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I didnt’ ask my FSIL (DH’s brothers wife) to be a BM. I like her jsut fine, but I had only met her a few times at that point. On top of that they had a 2 yo and FSIL did NOT like being separated from her child (which is totally fine with me) but I didn’t like the idea of having a baby in the room while I was getting ready and taking pictures, etc. Call me a bridezilla, but I wanted that to be an adults only occasion.

Post # 14
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh I’m so glad to know I’m not the only bride in this position!

The topic ‘Not sure whether to ask my FSIL to be a bridesmaid…’ is closed to new replies.

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