not sure who to make my MOH

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

If you can’t decide is it even necessary to have a MOH? Or can’t they just all have the same status? 

Post # 4
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

I was in a similar situation, sort of…I have 3 sisters, I’m not super close with them and I didn’t want to choose one of them to be my MOH, so I asked my best friend to fill that role, she’s in Iowa (3.5 hours away from me)…and all my BM are in AZ, except my future SIL who lives here in Chicago.  I considered making her my Matron of Honor and my friend my MOH, that way the two of them could help each other out with all the planning, but I didn’t want my sisters to feel like they were second best to my friend and FSIL…so I just had my best friend as MOH, and I’ve been helping out a lot with the things she should be handeling.  I think you should ask your cousin, and I’m sure the other girls won’t mind helping out to plan events in her absence, they will still be able to communicate with her and your cousin can still contribute financially even if she can’t be present for all the events. 

Post # 7
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

@baileyjosephine:  Do Co-MOH’s that way you can recognize them both, and it takes a lot of the pressure off your cousin.  Honestly all the girls should be more then willing to help out with planning events and such.  My MOH and FSIL have already been communicating and working together on wedding stuff (and they don’t really even know eachother that well).  If everyone in your bridal party is truely a good friend/close family they will all be more then happy to help out, and I don’t think most people care too much weither they are MOH or BM, it’s still an honor to be standing up with you on your wedding day. 

Post # 9
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@baileyjosephine:  Just make your cousin the MOH and explain to the others that you picked family as MOH because it was too hard to choose between all of them. They should understand. And they still do get “credit” because they are bridesmaids. It’s not as if you aren’t going to be putting them in the bridal party at all.

Post # 10
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would just not have an MOH. I’ve been in two weddings that did this because they didn’t want to pick 1 person and offend others. You’ve got 3 girls so I’d give them each a job during the ceremony. 1 could stand next to you and hold your bouquet, 1 could hold his ring and the other could give a toast. As for the shower and bachelorette, I’d just tell them that you can’t choose a MOH because you love them all so much and see if one of them volunteers for one or both. I’d think it would be easiest if one of the local girls did the bachelorette and the other did the shower. But see what they volunteer for.

Post # 13
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

The first time there was a bit of confusion and nobody wanted to step on anyone’s toes so nobody really took the lead on the bachelorette. We had all volunteered but didn’t really know what the others thought because we didn’t really know each other well. But eventually the bride simple asked 2 of us to work on the bachelorette (the other two hosted a shower). And then it worked great! The second time, I had already been through it, so I just started from the begining by asking the other girls what they wanted to help with and volunteering to organize the bachelorette myself.

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