Post # 1
So, I happily got a BFP last week. My best gay boyfriends called me out immediately at our regular Thursday night get together when I wasn’t drinking wine. So, we told them the truth, with the obvious caveats that it’s still early, etc. So, that was actually really fun being able to share it with someone.
Yesterday, we met our other besties for lunch with their two kids, and as soon as she sat down, she looked at my iced tea and DH’s beer and said, “Are you pregnant?” So, it was fun to share with them as well 🙂 They told us as soon as the they got the BFP with their two, so that felt right.
But I have all of these other friends and family and it would be so much fun to be able to tell! I know that we shouldn’t (can’t imagine if, God forbid, something happened as we’d have to tell people that I am no longer pregnant), don’t want to jinx anything, but it’s kind of sucky. I have also realized that we live(d) a very drinky lifestyle, as I’m now having to thing of all kinds of reasons why I’m not drinking, or find sly ways to hide it until July. Oy.
Post # 3
@bluewolverine: We just told my parents this weekend after having our first u/s appointment. I know it’s hard to keep it a secret, but we just wanted to make sure everything was progressing as it should. I’m 8 weeks now. We plan to start telling friends in early June after we pass the 12 week point. Of course my mom is now chomping at the bit to tell her friends, but I’ve sworn her to secrecy for now! Congrats on your BFP!!!
Post # 4
My husband did a lot of “drinking for two” when we weren’t telling people. I would order a beer (in a bottle) and just pretend to sip it, and then my husband and I would switch drinks once he was done. Or we would go to a bar, and my husband would order me a club soda with lime in a cocktail glass that looked like a vodka soda at the bar where no one could see what he was doing. Or I would order a glass of wine and just not drink it- no one ever noticed.
If you think you can’t get away with it, then you might have to pass on some opportunities, but we were able to hide it for the most part.
Post # 5
So hard not to tell folks. I’m very early it about 4 and half weeks. I know early dur to IF treatment, we did tell our parents and a few folks who know that we were undergoing treatment. I can’t wait for the ultrasound to be able to let more folks know. Hubs is chafing at the bit to yell it to the world, but I don’t want to tell too many folks too soon.
Post # 6
@Miss Root: My husband did the same for me! It was more obvious that I wasn’t drinking than if I woudl pretend to drink. Only one good friend caught on, but we absolutely wanted to keep this to ourselves given our past history.
It’s also frustrating when people are looking for it and call you out on it. I had a friend do that with my first pregnancy. It wasn’t someone who I really wanted to know either. When I lost the baby, she basically just brushed it off and said that there must have been something wrong with it. That just saddened me more that she would think that I wouldn’t want a child if it wasn’t perfect. So, there are pros and cons of telling early. Just be sure that you’re telling the people who you would tell if there were something that happened so that they can be supportive!
Post # 7
@2PeasinaPod: Too true. The four people who know right now are my best friends in the world, and would be right there if something happened.
Yeah, we passed on some drinky events this weekend. Would just be too obvious. Am totally planning to do the “Drink for Two” plan. I’m sure Darling Husband won’t mind. He’s just sad he lost his favorite drinking buddy 😉 And yet, is also happy the designated driver has arrived…..
Thanks for the help/commiseration, hive. Love you guys!
Post # 8
This weekend was our first time out with friends since we had our BFP, and it was a challenge. Darling Husband is going to be doing a lot of drinking for two – we’ve been using that as our excuse, that I’m the Dirty Delete, and can’t drink.
The only time anyone has guessed so far (and I vehemently denied it out loud) was this morning during an assembly at school. I had a huge dizzy spell, and had to sit down. Another teacher saw me, and immediately blurted out “Are you pregnant?”. Luckily, she whispered it, since we were in an assembly, but still… It’s going to be a tough couple of months.
Post # 9
I have been DYING to tell people too! we did tell our parents (mostly because i tell my mother everything and would absolutely want her there IF, god forbid, something were to happen) We are waiting until at least 8 weeks to tell our siblings. Mostly because they are all coming down for memorial day weekend and I know once they see me without a drink they will know. Everyone else will have to wait til 12 weeks.
Post # 10
@bluewolverine: Haha…my Darling Husband said the same thing! I’m basically his Dirty Delete for the next 5 months!
Post # 11
I drank a lot of “vodka and cranberry” or “vodka and soda” in the beginning. We would try to get to things early and order drinks before people showed up so that I could order a faux drink that was really something else.
Post # 12
Don’t people know better than to ask?? I’m not pregnant, or TTC yet, but I’m already making plans for how to avoid the topic. I’d like to think most of my friends would maybe silently think it but not call me out on it. But I get migraines, so I already have a plan for if people ask about it.
I will tell my sister immediately though. She told me about 7 hours after she found out she was pregnant, and I’ll do the same, I’m sure. But she is the person I would want by my side no matter what happens (besides H of course). My parents will have to wait a few weeks, then the rest of my siblings would be close after.
Post # 13
@foodnerd81: Oh, no, people ask all the time. I’ll just start lying. It’s kind of crazy – I mean, if you’re my friend, don’t you think I’d tell you at an appropriate time? Or do you think I’m just waiting around for you ask? Jeez.
I have a few rules on this. I never ask single people if they’re “dating anyone special.” I never ask couples when they’re going to get married. I never ask newleyweds when they’re going to have babies. I never ask parents if they’re going to have more kids. They want me to know, they’ll tell me. Those are pretty big announcements that you generally don’t need to ask people about.
Post # 14
I’m 5 weeks pregnant and it is driving me nuts not to tell everyone, but I know so many women who had miscarriages in the first 10 or 12 weeks, so I’m being responsible and not talking about it except to our besties and our immediate families and ym dissertation advisor, but it is HARD.
Post # 15
i just got my BFP yesterday and i’m already wondering how we’re going to keep it from people. i’m not shy about heavy pours when we’re drinking wine/margaritas with our neighbors. Darling Husband even joked that we’re going to have to tell our neighbors before anyone else because they will figure it out anyway!
Post # 16
If you order something like cranberry juice or sparkling soda, people will assume your drinking. Juice is good for you anyway!
Congrats! I know it’s hard to wait and keep this kind of secret, good luck to you!