Post # 1
I really need suggestions on what to do for my bachelorette. Here is the backstory.
I have a big group of friends where I grew up and one where I live now. I am doing two bachelorettes – one where I grew up and one here, only because I didn’t want 1/2 of all my girlfriends to have to fly across the county (I am having a destination wedding and I thought that would be too much to ask). I am flying home for one and I am totally excited about it, my maid of honor is planning it and going awesome. No issues there.
The one I am having where I live now I am just not that excited about. Many of my friends are still single and go out quite a bit. I am more of a homebody. I love going out, but I just don’t drink that much anymore. I would also say most of my friends where I live are on more of a budget. The big idea is get a hotel and go out and ‘rage’ for the night. First of all I live here, I don’t want to waste money on a hotel. Second – I don’t want to rage at all. I would rather just spend quality time with my girlfriends. A nice dinner or a lunch or going to a spa or vineyard for the afternoon would be awesome, but I know this may cost more and I feel bad asking them to do something like that. Keep in mind none of them are coming to my wedding as it is not in their budget except the one who is a bridesmaid – so this is not on top of wedding costs. There is no shower here so there is not that additional cost either… Is it too much to ask them to do something more low key like that but that may cost more?
anyone else been in this situation, what did you end up doing/are you going to do for your bachelorette?
Post # 3
Yeh, I’d talk to the girl who is planning it, and see if you can’t all do something like get pedicures together and then go taste some wine or something. It sounds like its all about them, and from my experience working in a bar, bachelorette parties are obnoxious and attract some male attention, probably what they are most keen on with wanting the rager… I don’t think you’re asking too much to want to avoid a night of debauchery that you don’t find enjoyable in the first place.
Disclaimer: Now if you like going out and partying, by all means, paint the town red. I’m just saying the OP shouldn’t have to do that if she doesn’t want to.
Post # 4
I would speak to them about it since you should enjoy your own bachelorette. Plus, getting a hotel room and going out partying sounds way more expensive than a spa treatment or a lot of other options out there…to me going out drinking is one of the most expensive things you can do!
Post # 5
I’m not the drinking type either. I just opted out of having a bach night all together because I’m not excited by any of the tradition bach ideas. But you can totally speak to the planner and suggest something more in line with your tastes
Post # 6
thank you all for your responses! Don’t get me wrong, I love to go out with friends every now and again, but just going drinking at bar is not something I am that into and I would really dislike doing so being the center of attention. I feel better about asking them to do something else now, thank you.
Unfortunatley, one of my friends here – the only one that is a bridesmaid, isn’t that great at listening to what I want to do. She along with another good friend are heading up the planning. I just explained how I would really rather it not be a night at the bars – at the end of the night grabbing a drink would be great, I just don’t want that to be our main activity. She then suggested we go to a nice club where we would get bottle service. Cleary she missed what I was trying to say….
I am going to try the other friend to see if she gets it! 🙂
@MademoiselleL: I totally agree that drinking(aka raging in their words) and hotel would probably end up costing more than other activity. I think if I pointed this out of this they would probably agreee. Sometimes a mani/pedi or wine tour can seem more expensive up front even though it wont actually be 🙂
Post # 7
Find a wine festival..all the girls can go, pay for themselves..and just chip in a few bucks for you. It would be a whole day of girl time, drinking (light drinking or “raging” depending on how much wine they choose to consume), and inexpensive! If and when you find a festival just say oh I really want to go to this vineyard etc etc that would be the PERFECT bachelorette party.
Post # 8
We have actually discussed doing a winery tour for my bachelorette as I am also not a big party-er or drinker. We are getting a chartered bus and then doing a tasting at several different wineries. It’s only going to cost between 20-30 a person depending on how many girls come with us. We are also doing lunch. The whole day will be less than $50.
I would just be clear on what you are not comfortable with and remind her of the type of person you are. You want a bachelorette party that you are happy with and have fond memories, not something that leaves you miserable.