Post # 1
One of my wonderful bridesmaids it not so wonderful. with 16 days to go and not once having asked for help, I asked her to help me with a few little things. She actually said NO!
Not only this, but she had her dress altered and it was too small for her, as in, did not zip up, and she still has yet to get it realtered.
She told me she will not be spending the night before the wedding with us as she has a life (she really said that), and I had to fight with her to get her to come to the rehearsals and the rehearsal dinner.
My MOH lives in another city and she has been doing what she can. When she emailed BM to express concern, BM replied with a lovely rude comment. She actually said (not in so many words) that she has a life and work and although she knows it’s my wedding she doesn’t actually care coz she needs to do her own thing. Oh, and MOH must not contact her again as she doesn’t appreciate it and if I (the bride) had an issue, I must take it up with her.
Frustrated and disapointed doesn’t even begin to cover it……
Post # 3
Wow. If you don’t plan on being friends with this chick after the wedding I’d just ask her not to be in the wedding. It’s not about catering to your every move but just to be there and support you. Doesn’t sound like she’s doing either.
Post # 4
I know your wedding is only 16 days away, but can you ask somebody else to stand in her place? If not I agree with Jessy727.
Post # 5
It doesn’t sound like she cares much or even wants to be in your wedding.
Has she been this way the whole time? If she has, then geesh, I would boot her out. She doesn’t sound like a very good friend at all.
If this has been more recent, perhaps she’s having a rough time at her job/school/life, whatever the case may be?
Post # 6
She was great at the beginning but as the time wore on she became distant and if I don’t contact her I don’t hear from her.
There is nothing going on in her life. She has just got a new group of friends and seems to be taking on their bitchyness etc. Not inviting me places and lieing to me.
I asked her for some help next weekend again (weekend before wedding) and she said she had someone’s brithday to go to on the Saturday evening so no, sorry couldn’t help, even though it would have been daytime help that I needed.
Unfortunately I have already printed programs/paid for dress/paid for make up/ordered flowers …..
Post # 7
What a piece of work this girl is!! I would do as she says and take it up with her, and after I said what I had to say, I’d be minus one RUDE BM and probably much happier for it:) Just puttin in my 2 cents
Post # 8
Yikes! Have you asked her if she still wants to be in the wedding? It doesn’t sound like she does…
Post # 9
Wow, what a crappy friend! I agree with AlwaysSunny – doesn’t sound like she wants to be in the wedding. Did something happen in your guys’ relationship that may have sparked this? I can’t imagine a good friend suddenly changing to that extent…
Post # 10
I asked her if she wanted to still be in it through my MOH and she said yes, she just didn’t see why she had to do stuff as she had a life/job.
Nothing changed in our friendship to spark this, the new group of friends changed her…
Post # 11
Ugh! What a jerk! Just pretend she doesn’t exist until the wedding. If she doesn’t get her dress fixed, she can’t stand up for you! Do you have a smaller friend who could wear the dress, if worst comes to worst?
Post # 12
@Ellebelle: I would just let her be in the wedding and then cut off all ties with her because she is not being much of a friend. Why one earth be someone’s BM and not even want to help…even a little bit. That is ridiculous.
Post # 13
First of all, date twins! 🙂 Yay, countdown is ON!
I had a similar situation with my MOH. Ultimately, I thought about how I want to feel on my wedding day. I tend to stress easily and it’s really important to me to surround myself with people who will support me and not add to my stress. So, I asked her to step down – to be exact, I said, “I think you have other things competing for your time, and I’m going to let you off the hook from being in my wedding.” You may not have a relationship with her afterwards, but really, with the way she’s behaving, do you need one? Just leave the programs, flowers, etc as-is (no one will remember) and ask her to step down. Ultimately, you want to feel good and loved by those around you on your wedding day.
Post # 14
So you asked her to do some stuff and she said no. Well, what stuff WAS that you asked her to do?
Getting her dress altered is on her…..
She doesn’t want to stay with you the night before the wedding. I’m not sure why this is an issue. I’ve been in 8 weddings before, I’ve never stayed with the bride the night before the wedding. Was I supposed to?
Post # 15
It’s not about catering to your every move but just to be there and support you.
Post # 16
JaneyDCat I asked her to please help me with my table plan. I’m quite sure that’s not onerous. i also asked her to come shopping with me for lingerie, not onerous either.
The reason she needs to stay the night before is because we are having a get together and the venue is 2 hours away from where she lives and she would need to be at the venue by 8am the next morning…
She hasn’t been there to support me Margar, hell when she arranged (after much nagging from my part) my hen weekend she didn’t invite my mom or my MOH or half my friends!