Post # 1
My brother just called me this afternoon-I’m trying to be really understanding and since I am a mom myself (and a mom to twins who were almost 10 weeks premature at that) I totally understand about keeping kids safe-especially babies.
Due to the early flu season, the amount of swine flu, etc. My brother told me that he and his family might not be coming to our wedding. His wife, 2 year old daughter and baby daughter will definitely not be coming due to concerns about illness and travel and he may or may not be coming. I totally understand travel concerns and flying to Jacksonville and driving up to where I live in SW Georgia is quite the undertaking-which is why they were making it a mini-vacation and an extended visit. I would be anxious about taking little ones on the plane and being in the airport at any time, especially now with all of the illness about-I’m trying really hard not be be disappointed, but I am.
My SIL hasn’t met FI and has been unable to attend some family functions where we were all together. This comes on top of my sister, who is my MOH, who may or may not be coming in on Thursday before the wedding to help with decorating the venue for the rehearsal dinner and then going on to decorate the social hall at church. I understand that things come up, but I mean come on-she is my MOH and my SISTER! I have visions of my other BM and I setting up tables and decorating all on our own and I’m starting to get really uncomfortable thinking that it will just be the two of us to take care of all of that.
I have found out that several friends (better than good friends) who had originally RSVPd “yes” are now not coming due to recently scheduled family trips out of town or whatnot. I’m trying to be understanding about this also-but in our family-if there are plans already in place, then I don’t cancel one set of plans to attend a family event if we’ve already had plans in place for quite some time. Our wedding was scheduled and STDs were sent months and months ago. For example-if FI and I had plans to attend a wedding and a family function came up-unless that was an emergency-we would keep to our original plans and go as we had planned to the wedding. Maybe we’re just strange. It’s kind of like kids birthday parties-if someone thinks enough of us to invite my children to a birthday party, then we make every effort to attend.
I hope that doesn’t sound ugly or mean. Suggestions ladies? Some rational thought here?!
Post # 3
No I totally agree and would be very disapointed this is not friends it family for peat sake.
Post # 4
No, I think you have every right to be disappointed. I get it about wanting to stay healthy, but seriously, you could get the flu at the grocery store or gas station… you can’t live in a bubble and stay in your house your whole life. I’m sorry hon. 🙁
Post # 5
I think you have every right to be disappointed as well. I would be disappointed if I were you and this were happening to me. I completely agree with layla–people could get the flu at the grocery store or the gas station. I work in a hospital and I have come to terms with the fact that I am probably going to come down with H1N1 sometime over the next few months. A couple people in my department have already had and are just recently getting over it.
I would also be pretty upset if people that had already Rsvp’d that they were coming decided at the last minute not to come because of family things. I can understand if they were really really important things or an emergency or something. I don’t think you are out of line at all to be upset about it. I think you should talk to those people that are better than good friends and see why they decided to change their mind at the last minute and tell them how much this hurts you.
Post # 6
You don’t sound ugly or mean – quite the opposite, actually. You are being understanding of the fact that everyone has their lives and other things going on – yet, OF COURSE, you would be disappointed. I’m really sorry to hear that the guest list is dwindling – it really stinks!!!
Try to balance the disappointment by reminding yourself that the most IMPORTANT thing that will be happening is you get to marry your beloved.
Also, even though it would have been wonderful for your brother and SIL to be there, maybe you can figure out a weekend trip in the next year where you’d be able to spend some quality time with his family. That way, everyone can really get to know FI – which is a lot more than they would have been able to do during the wedding festivities.
Post # 7
I keep trying to tell myself that it is an encore wedding and all, but we were expecting 100-125 and now it looks more like 80 or so, maybe less. I also keep saying over in my head that smaller weddings are more intimate, special, etc.
This really annoys me-one of my friends, she has three kids-all little (2, 4, 5) and we are having the church nursery for the ceremony-seating is limited and the kids will be bored and loud and it’s in the chapel at our church, not the sanctuary-so the sound will carry. The reception to follow 20/30 minutes later is in the church social hall-open to all kids and they are all highly encouraged to attend. Well, her husband told her that he didn’t really want to take the kids anywhere that they would have to go into a nursery…WHAT? It’s for like less than half an hour…I don’t get it!!!!! She was very apologetic and said she is coming anyway.
I have kids-they will be in the chapel bc they are in the wedding-but that to me is, well, ridiculous. We have purposely planned our brunch reception to include food that kids like and will eat (pretty much everyone likes brunch food anyway) and are highly encouraging our friends to bring their kids.
I know the world does not revolve around me and our wedding day-I realize that, but I have this sinking feeling that our wedding guest list is shrinking and shrinking and shrinking. I just don’t understand!
Post # 8
I think your brother is being overly paranoid and his excuse is lame. This is your wedding! You’re his sister! No excuses.
Post # 9
I agree — if your brother and his wife are that worried about the kids, then it makes sense for her to stay behind with them. But he should make every effort to be at your wedding. Come on!
And your sister — why is she potentially not going to be there to help prepare for the wedding? It is circumstance on her side, or does she not realize how much you’re counting on her help? She needs to step up (unless something serious is holding her back from being there on Thursday).
I don’t think encore weddings are any less significant than the first time around. You deserve to have your loved ones there celebrating with you. Try to focus on the 80 people who will highly value this day alongside you, and make the most of it.
Here’s hoping you get a beautiful day that’s full of love!