Not Wanting A Religious Wedding, But Relative Saying Otherwise (annoyed sigh)

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ugh, that sucks. I was raised Greek Orthodox, and I’m also not big on organized religion,  but I was lucky enough to fall for a nice Jewish boy (who has very similar beliefs to mine), so I have a perfect “out.” I definitely don’t think you should change your plans,  but is there any compromise you can make? Mentioning god in your vows, and/or incorporating any roman Catholic traditions?

I take it your great-aunt has a lot of influence in your family,  otherwise I’d say it’s just one person, screw it.

Post # 4
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Pulsepoint129:  Fi is Catholic, I am not. I was willing to have a Catholic wedding but, alas, I am a heathen and I had a previous marriage which I was told needed to be anulled ($$$$ and contacting my ex, hell no!)  So we are having a non-demoninational ceremony outside at the winery where the reception is. God will be mentioned, there will be prayer, but it is not a Catholic wedding by any means. Fi’s mom has surrendered to this, despite her disappointment. Is something like that an option to try and reach a middle ground? Having a minister, a man of God, but not Catholic, perform the ceremony??

Post # 6
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I would tell her that you are no longer a practicing Catholic.  If it goes against her beliefs to be at a wedding that is not in a church, she does not have to attend but you love her and hope she comes on your special day.  Then the ball is in her court then…and it’s not starting a war, it’s stating your beliefs.  No one has the right to pressure you, and no one is going to make her attend if she thinks the wedding isn’t “real”.

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh. Sorry about your crazy aunt!

If anyone else in your family says something, you could always explain that you feel it would be disrespectful to get married in a Catholic church since you’re non-practicing.

But I wouldn’t say anything to your aunt. Nothing’s going to make her happy!

Post # 9
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

I feel yor pain. I grew up baptist SO is catholic. He wants a chuch wedding to please his family. He does not even believe in god. I always wanted an outdoor wedding *sigh* but the church the FILs got married in is beautiful. Church wedding + outdoor reception = compromise.

 

Post # 11
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@Pulsepoint129:  Simple — it’s your wedding, not hers. Do what you feel is right, and what you want. 

Post # 12
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

Forcing or guilting a non-religious person into a certain type of ceremony is just as unfair as asking a member of one faith to have a ceremony conducted in the tradition of another completely different faith, because some family member says so.  You wouldn’t say have a Sikh wedding if your aunt was Sikh, just to please her, if you were a fully practicing Hindu, for example.  Youraunt has said her piece but needs to relent to you; it’s your wedding so it should reflect your beliefs.

Post # 13
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tell her that if it bothers her that much, she doesn’t need to attend – but that as far as you are concerned, this is the most real wedding ever to take place. Her opinion doesn’t mean squat. 

Post # 14
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Don’t let her opinion sway you! Just ignore her every time she brings it up, or say “it’s not up for discussion”. 

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