Post # 1
I basically have nixed everything that is wedding-y about a wedding reception. No grand march, no introduction of the wedding party, no head table, no bouquet/garter toss, etc. This is partially because I wanted a beach wedding with 80 people, and it somehow turned into a giant banquet hall reception with 215 people and I don’t know what I’m doing. Another (big) part of it is having been to so many weddings in the past and seeing the same things done over.and.over.again. Every bride thinks they’re so clever with their choreographed dance but trust me, I’ve seen the wedding party do the dance to “Thriller” more times than you can imagine.
Is anyone else feeling this way? Is anyone else nixing these “traditions”? Or am I basically turning my wedding into a any old party? Does anyone actually LIKE the slideshow and the DJ with the box of props? We’re still doing a sit-down dinner, and I am wearing a gown, and we have a wedding party, so it will definitely still feel like a wedding.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
“I basically have nixed everything that is wedding-y about a wedding reception. No grand march, no introduction of the wedding party, no head table, no bouquet/garter toss, etc.”
That could’ve been written by me. We are also not cutting the cake or having a first dance. After the wedding ceremony, we just want it to be a big party with food and booze and music and laughing, etc. We have no planned events beyond what’s dicated by the caterer: cocktails, dinner, dessert.
Post # 4
I think you’ll get mixed reactions here. I am not including a number of “traditional” things, but my reception will more definitely be identifiable as a wedding! I think it’s about finding what best suits you and your Fiance.
Sure, we’ve all seen things done a million times over–but many brides are waiting for their chance to do the thriller dance or the bouquet toss, or what have you. Not so sure that they really think they’re being unique–it’s more of a “ahhh MY Turn” type thing. Which is awesome too.
Post # 5
We were the same way…I really didn’t want to do the bouquet/garter toss, but the hubs really wanted to so we did. We didn’t have the Bridal Party entry, no head table, and other “wedding-y” stuff either.
Post # 6
We are introducing the wedding party – just a little differently….We will begin our first dance and after 1 min 30 sec our live band will begin to call up our wedding party and their significant others to join in and finish the dance with us. Thats the way we’re doing it…..I am not having slide show, I am not having a bouquet toss nor am I having a garter toss….
Post # 7
i think that as long as the LOGISTICAL wedding related things are done (pre-arranged seating arrangements, meals, dancing, etc) then your guests will be fine. I am always using all those traditional moments during weddings to take a bathroom break, b/c why the hell do I want to stop the party to watch someone slice a cake? haha. If you keep things moving the way people expect, the lack of other traditions will be just fine. Though you may get a couple of tsk tsks for not following the Rules. 😉
Post # 8
We are also staying away from some traditional things. We are only introducing the bridal party and ourselves (no parents). Immediately after introductions we are heading to quickly cut the cake and take a few pics. I personally could care less about this part but my mom insisted.
There will be no garter/bouquet toss or dollar dance or cheesy wedding music besides maybe the electric slide. There will be no sentimental slide show of the bride/groom growing up. We are having a first dance, but then we are combining the father/daughter and mother/son dance. There will be no bridal party dance (YUCK i always hated doing those). Lastly, our head table will be me and Fiance along with our parents. Then, we will have 2 more tables for the bridemaids/dates and groomsmen/dates.
The last couple of weddings I went to were sheer boredom. A lot of just sitting around. I want to have a party!!! Basically, let’s get dinner over with and start dancing!
Post # 9
I think it depends. Fiance and I have attended very few weddings, so for us, everything feels new. Because I am the first in my family and group of friends to get married, a portion of the guests will also not have seen these traditions over and over.
Because we are having an interfaith, intercultural wedding, I am more concerned that we’re being too rebellious so I keep traditions where I can. I think of the older guests who have seen a ton of weddings, they’re already sort of shocked that we are getting married outside by a river, that our officiant is our 23 year old friend, that the dinner is stations, not sitdown, not to mention the culture clash. So I think they’ll appreciate some traditional wedding-y things like a bouquet toss, a cake cutting, and introductions.
Post # 10
Exactly, Melissabegins! I went to a wedding where every time it started getting fun, the DJ was like “time to clear the dance floor for….” I also went to a wedding where the slideshow was so long that three songs in, they were still on the groom as a child! People looked antsy.
We have assigned seating, cocktail hour, and will have all the traditional dances.
Post # 11
jackie-o, I love the way you are doing the first dance
after 1 minute it gets boring
I just might copy you!
Post # 12
We aren’t doing any of the typical wedding reception stuff either. I can’t stand when I go to a wedding and have to watch the bride/groom dance, then go into father/daughter dance, then mother/son dance, then parents dance, then wedding party, etc etc. all back to back–UGH. I just go out side for fresh air. I understand a lot of girls want to do that, and that’s fine, but since we are having a small affair we too are just going to nix most of that stuff. I think if a lot of guests are honest they would say they could do without a lot of the fluff/filler too so I hope our guests enjoy the reception with the food, music playing (no corny DJ), beverages (alcoholic and non) and all the yummy pie and other desserts they can stuff into themselves! 🙂
Post # 13
Since our wedding will be in Vegas we’re doing it untraditional. After the quick ceremony I’m inviting everyone up to our suite for a champagne toast and some iPod tunes. Then, after a bit I’ll tell everyone to go change into something comfortable and come back up. We’re having the Bellagio staff/catering set up hor derves/food and the cake in our suite and we’ll just all eat, hang out, and drink.
Afterwards, maybe me and the new hubby will go out with some friends, but we’re catching a flight to Bora Bora the next morning so I dunno. 🙂
Post # 14
I agree on most accounts, but I’m also nixing some important traditions that I know are going to surprise a lot of people. Not getting married by my dad’s pastor, diner-themed food, gay best friend as my maid of honor, etc. so I kinda feel obligated to do some of the trite traditions. We’ll be introduced– but I don’t think the bridal party will be– during cocktail hour so we can start hanging out with family and friends. I know my dad and my Future Mother-In-Law are really looking forward to their prospective dances, so that’s a must too.
But I don’t know about the bouquet/garter toss, or cake cutting. I really want it to just feel like a good party
Post # 15
Love this post! I feel like these days brides should be able to pick and choose what they do. As long as the party is for celebrating two people getting married it should still feel wedding-y. We are not doing introductions, garter or bouquet toss, any special dances beyond first dance, or a send off. We are doing cake cutting, first dance, and toasts.
Post # 16
The only thing I did out of the things you listed was a bouquet toss right after we cut the cake. Though I definately could have done without the bouquet toss but I have three sisters, none of who wanted the bouquet, so I thought it would be funny to do one. It was still plenty weddingy I guess, we were still the ‘guests of honor’ so to say with lots of attention, not really any getting around that one, but it was more of a festive lets have fun atmosphere then lots of organized breaks, it’s what worked best for us.