Post # 1
Invitations are about to be sent out and we have to decide to invite my fiance’s friend who is dating a girl that nobody likes. We want him to come of course. I personally have a past with her that is not good and my FI use to date her best friend. I would prefer to not have to attend as she would only be there to see what we did and talk about us. Is it rude to not allow him a plus one? My fiance has a lot of friends that are single that we are not allowing a plus one either. Thoughts?
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
You should invite her. You aren’t going to be thinking about her when she is there, trust me.
Post # 3
s323: I think you need to keep decorum acorss the board. If you are inviting SO’s of friends in a dating relationship, and then not giving him the option would be inappropriate, because then it seems blatant that SHE is not invited, and not just ‘girlfriends’. It is different than inviting definitive single people without the ‘and guest’ option to keep guest list numbers ‘in check’ as well.
However, if you have decided that you are only inviting SO’s of friends whom are living together, or engaged, and she does not apply in this situation, then you are still keeping same standards across the board.
If it helps, on that day, you will be so thrilled by what is happening with your DH that I doubt you will really even notice her attendance, or anyone elses really. I promise!!
Post # 4
s323: If you are giving +1’s to other people who are dating or in serious, non-married relationships then yes, he should get a +1 too. The alternative is to not invite the couple completely. Don’t treat your FI’s friend any differently then anyone else. That would really suck for him.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I would say if they’ve only been dating a short time, you can probably get away with not inviting her esspecially if other singles are not getting a plus one.
However, if they’re in an established relationship then I think you need to invite her. I also agree you probably won’t notice or think about her on the day of your wedding anyway! There were lots of things I didn’t notice until afterwards or people told me! Like DH’s cousin wore an all white dress to our wedding…never noticed! Don’t care anyway at this point but so many people worry about those little things and you may never notice them.
Post # 6
s323: You need to be consistent. If other people in relationships (of a similar amount of time dating) get their partners invited, then you should invite this girl too.
Not giving a “plus one” to single guests is not at all comparable.
She’s only the best friend of your FI’s ex, not an axe murderer.
Post # 7
You can’t allow others to bring their girlfriends or boyfriends and not allow him. Its different that you’re not allowing single guys to find a random girl to bring. You probably won’t notice her. The only way is if you were only allowing married or engaged couples. You can’t single out one person.
Post # 8
Agree with the other PPs. You should invite them as a couple. Is your FI willing to lose his friend over this? Because he might be really offended if you don’t invite his current girlfriend, and that would change their friendship. Even if they break up in the future, he would still remember and maybe resent that you didn’t extend a +1 for him to your wedding.
Post # 9
If you’re giving other couples +1s then you have to give him a +1. I don’t get how anyone thinks that just because they’re not crazy about someone’s SO, it’s ok to exclude them. It’s horribly rude and unkind. You said you have single friends without +1s, but guess what? He’s not a single friend.
Post # 10
Thank you ladies. Problem is nobody likes her. He never brings her around BC of her attitude towards everyone. She doesn’t like me either as we use to be coworkers. Most of my fiances friends are all single and not getting a plus one. I totally agree with making a decision across the board to be fair…. I can always just include a plus one and hope that she chooses not to come as it would be weird since we don’t like each other. I believe everyone is right when saying I probably won’t even notice her.
Post # 11
If you invite him, you must invite her as she is his SO. So, either invite them both or don’t invite either.
Post # 12
Personally I think it is rude to not invite someone’s significant other to your wedding. Why would they want to come and celebrate your relationship when you won’t even recognize theirs?
Post # 13
I am on the border with this. Let me ask you a question? Is your fi’s friend and his girlfriend living together? If yes then you guys need to invite her. If the answer is no then I think you can get away with it. If it were me planning a wedding then unless I am friends with their SO then I would only invites people’s SO’s who are married, engaged, or live in SO’s. If they don’t apply to that criteria then I think inviting your friends SOS would be optional if they aren’t married, engaged, or living together.
Post # 14
s323: If they are in a relationship, she should actually be addressed personally, not as a “plus one.” Plus ones are given to truly single guests. Anyone in a relationship should be invited with their SO, and their SO should be named personally on the inner envelope (unless they live together…then it should also go on the outer envelope, as well!)
Post # 15
I say invite them both. I highly doubt you will notice her on the day of your wedding.