Post # 1
I love weddings. I watch the tv shows, read the bridal magazines, so on. But my SO and I are buying our first house soon. Putting in an offer tomorrow actually! Which is very exciting. However, putting all this money into a house has made me question the fact that I will soon be spending over 10,000$ on ONE day. We aren’t getting married for a little over a year, but still, the idea of it is making me want a simple courthouse wedding without paying for 150 people to celebrate with us. Is that selfish?
I have been trying to find the most budget friendly options. The thing is, we live in a small town and the venues as all pricy, because there is low supply and high demand (its a college town, alot of people meet and marry here). I wish we could just do something simple, but I am an only child, and my parents want a big wedding for their little girl. They are help with some of the cost, but I feel bad that they are giving me money at all. I wish I could win the lottery or something…
Post # 3
@LB1989: Do what you both want. Ultimately it’s about you and your FI coming together for the rest of your lives. It will be special no matter where it happens. Maybe you could have some sort of party afterward for close friends and family? Like a backyard BBQ, or something equally low key?
And if people can’t understand why you’re not having a big wedding to-do…poo on them 🙂
Post # 4
I am the SAME way. I think it’s SMART!!! It’s not even 1 day, when we started pricing venues they were quoting for 4 or 5 hours with extra $$$ for additional hours. No way am I interested in paying $10,000s on those few hours.
Just do the best you can to budget your money where you can. If the venues are expensive in your town, there’s really no way around that. But other things like flowers, food and drinks, paper, attire, vendors…things like that can be done on a budget!!
Post # 5
This is exactly how I feel. I absolutely love weddings but I don’t know that it’s really worth it to me to have a big wedding right now. We’d have to pay for it ourselves and it’s not like we’re rolling around in all our extra cash. It’s just hard on one hand to not have that experience, but on the other hand spending that much money on one day really bothers me. *sigh
Post # 6
I know. Its not that I don;t want the big day, I just wish that weddings weren’t so darn expensive. I know that we should do the reception our way, but nearly everyone coming is traveling, so it will have to be a full dinner.
Buying our first house, I can just see so many other uses that will last, like building a deck, redoing the kitchen, a bigger down payment, ect. Plus, both of us are full time students about to enter grad school (also exspensive).
We have been engaged for 2 years! I know the statistics about if you’ve been engaged that long, you probably won’t ever get married, but I have just been too poor and too lazy to kick my butt in gear and plan this wedding. So we set a date but I still think that eloping would be way less exspensive, less stressful, and so on.
I am all talk though, I know that I will have a nice, wedding. I know how much both of our families want a big wedding. I do too, honestly, I just wish it were free!
I am glad to see I am not the only one alone in this. I was talking to my mom about it and she didn’t get it. Its nice to know I am not some crazy penny-pinching bride.
Post # 7
We are spending 5,000. You could aregue that it’s a waste of 5,000, or you could applaud my thrift. It comes donw to what you are comfortable spending for the experience.
Post # 8
How about a very small wedding (like just family) and your parents throw a reception for everyone else? That way, everyone is included in the celebration, they can still contribute and the cost will be MUCH less. You will also have the same photographs, etc as if you had a large wedding. I am also an only child getting married in a small college town and we are just doing the least amount we can spend and still have it feel like a wedding.
Post # 9
I felt the same way, but 3 months into planning, I’m really happy I’m having a real wedding.
1. It brought me even closer with Mom, FMIL, and bridesmaids
2. I will get to see some people I haven’t seen in a long time. These include relatives and good friends who moved away.
3. Professional photos!!! FI and I never got professional photos taken, and our engagement photos were so wonderful. We have so few pictures of just us looking like we’re in love (not just looking at the camera).
4. It’s not really for 1 day, because the anticipation and planning is also a part of the wedding experience.
Post # 10
I completely understand! It’s possible to have a wedding on a seriously tight budget. I will tell you, it takes a lot more research to find the best deals, lots of creativity, and a little bit of compromise. But the good news is, it’s possible!
Post # 11
Do you have any land with the house you plan on buying? Or a big back yard? You could really make it a celebration of you and your FI coming together if you could have the wedding at the place you bought together! Plus that would cut back significantly on the venue. And there are tons of great things you can do with a backyard wedding without breaking the bank.
Post # 12
I struggled with this a LOT during the entire process. After all is said and done am I glad we spent the money? Yes and no. It was a wonderful wedding. However, what I’ve come to realize is that it would have been wonderful no matter what. I married my best friend after all. The ceremony was my favorite part because I felt like it was such a special and spiritual time. Do I wish we had some of the money for a house downpayment? Yes. Do I feel like it was a TON of money to spend on one day? Without a doubt. But it’s a memory that will last a lifetime 🙂 But, let me tell you, spending the $$$ on the honeymoon was the best idea ever! It was beyond worth it for a special honeymoon in Jamaica where we were pampered for a week.
Post # 13
I felt the exact same way. We weren’t buying a house at the time but we were both starting school and we have two young children together. We kept discussing how to spend the least amount of money and still have it not as hokey as his sisters backyard wedding (NOT knocking backyard weddings-this is what we were leaning towards but that one was not good. seriously. just bad…) We finally decided to not do any of it. He called the courthouse on a Tuesday afternoon while I was at work to schedule it, we went up on Wednesday morning with my sister, my nephew, his best friend, and our girls and got married in jeans! It was perfect. He was holding our oldest daughter, our youngest and my nephew were running around and playing, and the only person I saw was him. I would have never had that moment if we would have done the big wedding. I am way too nervous to be the center of attention and I know that I would have never enjoyed the big wedding. FWIW- we were engaged longer than you!!!! Almost 5 years!!
Post # 14
I definitely felt the same way as well and I went back and forth at the beginning stages of planning. Should I scale it down a bit? Should I just do a destination wedding? In the end, I decided that I want the “fairytale wedding”. I have dreamed of this for a very long time and so for US, it’s worth it. If we couldn’t afford to do it then we definitely wouldn’t but we are in a good place and I don’t want to look back years later and say “I wish I would have”….
No matter what you decide, there is no right or wrong answer/choice. You do what’s best for you and your FI.
Good Luck to you with the wedding and the offer you are putting down on the house!