Post # 1
Just a quick vent here but I think a lot of bees can appreciate . . .
My Future Mother-In-Law who I love to pieces is a widow and wanted to bring an escort/date to the wedding. She is not dating anyone but she said she would like to have one and it would make her comfortable. We are having a small (60 people) intimate weding and did not want any strangers but in her case we said yes, of course. So she lets us know that her sister’s husband’s brother would be her date. Well Fiance had met him one time and I just decided to grin and bear it.
Well last week she reaches out to us asking if she can bring his 14 year old son. We nicely explained that there was not enough space and we did not want strangers.
So Sunday I get an email from her saying that her sister will pay for the boy and add it to our wedding gift but they are bringing him.
First of all we never said we could not afford to have him. We are having a very lovely and expensive dang wedding and have not asked for any money from anyone for anything related. We are at Max capacity for our venue and we do not have space and honestly did not want a 14 year old boy that we have never met at our wedding. Fiance is handling this with his family but I am just so frustrated that they would assume it was because we were too cheap to pay for this child to attend
ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH does anyone want to sympathize or vent or just let me know that this too shall pass?
Post # 3
People just don’t make sense. That would bother us, especially because we want only adults at our reception, for the most part. Glad Fiance is dealing with it! No is no!
Post # 4
I know how you feel, this happens all the time i think. I have 8-10 people coming that I have NEVER met, and it’s not about the money it’s about the fact that I haven’t met them, don’t know them, and it’s supposed to be about US not friends of family members. The ceremony space only holds so many with a good view,and all I know is that OUR friends and family better be able to see and not be standing somewhere in the back so people I have never seen in my life can be there sitting in a front row…I feel your pain, but I just had to say EFF IT and let it go…in your case I would not allow this though, this isn’t the same in that in my case the people wanting these guests are paying for the wedding. Had to give them something…it just really pissed me off that it was like oh well, we’ll just give you more money!! THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!
PS – a friend of a friend had their mother invite her entire church choir (40 people) to her wedding reception, it’s a large one at like 450 people but still, she’d never met one of them either!
Post # 5
@unixfairy: You need to talk to your aunt directly and let her know you have no room. Tell her every seat is filled and you are sorry but the young man can not come. It is not your fault
Post # 6
So Sunday I get an email from her saying that her sister will pay for the boy and add it to our wedding gift ….
Post # 7
Omg, I’ve been having to deal with this and I am sick of it. When I tell someone they can’t bring a guest, they say, “Oh, how much is the dinner? I’ll pay for them.” Umm, no! For one thing, at my venue, the plated meal is cheaper by about $6 per person. The only way to have the plated meal is to have less than 60 guests. We’re trying so hard to keep it under 60. If we have more than that, we’ll have to pay the extra $6 pp. So, even if they paid to bring their own guests, I’d still be paying about $1000 more to feed everybody I INVITED with tax and gratuities.
It is annoying. My sister has TWO boyfriends coming to my wedding. Wtf?! Well, one is her ex, who pretty much stays at my mom’s house all of the time hanging out with my brother. He’s like a brother to me, so I couldn’t tell him he couldn’t come. Then, of course, I can’t expect my sister to travel down to the beach without her current boyfriend. So, I’m letting him come too.
Post # 9
Not only is this beyond rude, but what normal 14 year old boy wants to attend a wedding of someone they’ve never met?
Post # 10
I love how this child is referred to as the boy lol
but yes, SO RUDE!
Post # 12
Me toooo. My sister (co-MOH with whom I have a very strained relationship) Went via my mother to demand that HER high school friend and husband should be invited and that they would cover their dinner with a gift. WTF
Post # 13
Oy. My Future Mother-In-Law called us about 2 wks ago asking if her sister’s grandkids could be ‘made an exception’ to our no-kids rule. You know, because that isn’t rude to all the guests who were perfectly happy to get babysitters when we told them 8 months ago we weren’t inviting kids. When Future Mother-In-Law was fine with this for the last 8 months. FI has never met these kids (neither has FMIL!!!!), the kids’ parents aren’t coming because they’re going to Europe for the summer and Future Mother-In-Law caused all this drama before even asking her sister if she’d found a babysitter. FMIL literally spent HOURS screaming at us and demanding that we must know someone from high school who still lived at home (we’re 25/26) that wasn’t invited to the wedding, who would want to babysit for random kids. Uhhhh, no. Turns out her sister had no problem getting the grandkids a babysitter.
Post # 14
I mean, haven’t these people been married before? Don’t they realize how stressful it is? probably, but they don’t care.
I totally get why you’e man, especaially because you are having such an intimate wedding. Hopefully your Fiance can handle it and it won’t turn into a huge thing.
But if he does end up coming, at least it’s only 2 people you don’t really know. I have never met almost half of my guest list.
Post # 15
@JM1217: I mean, haven’t these people been married before? Don’t they realize how stressful it is? probably, but they don’t care.
I wonder this ALL THE TIME when I read posts like this on the Bee. I wonder how many of our (and by our I mean any bride on the bee) kids will be on here one day complaining about US doing the same thing to them that our parents did to us. Did that make sense? Is this a vicious cycle we are doomed to repeat? It’s like “well, my parents made me invite their friends and I didn’t want to, so guess what Jr. you gotta invite my friends now”
Sorry about going a little off topic…But it still relates : )
Post # 16
No thats no ok….. Its like the RSVP we got that had the person we invited with a +3 next to it…. I was like OMG really?!?! So Future Mother-In-Law caled and asked who the +3 were? she said she was going to bring her daughters (from a relationship with a previous guy, who she does not have custody over) and one of their boyfriends, the girls are 15!!!! So not appropriate…. When she said the 15 year old bf was not invited, that we are trying to keep the wedding small and as close to 75 as possible she did the same thing, she said she would pay…. WTF you are not buying tickets to a fair, this is a wedding! So that got nixed really quick!