Post # 1
I would like to hear anyone’s experience with not wearing either engagement rings and/or wedding bands.
Personally, I have a hard time wrapping my head around how everyone can realistically wear the same rings on the same finger for their entire life (well, at least entire marriage I guess). I’ll admit, part of this is about fashion. I would feel….restricted? Creatively? And it would just annoy the hell out of me. And I think I don’t really need to wear a ring and neither does SO. We know our love and commitment for each other.
Anyone else feel this way?<br />Even if not for my reasons, does anyone not wear rings just for things like your job? (Welders, etc)<br />What do people say when they find out you’re married and not wearing a ring? Do people even care?
Post # 2
My in laws have been married for 40 years and neither wears a ring. My MIL is basically allergic to all jewelry and my FIL just never has. Doesn’t make them less married to me. My husband only wears a ring when we go places or to family holiday things. It used to upset me, but I don’t care now. I wear a ring all the time. Not because of any other reason than I feel odd without a wedding ring. I don’t think most people notice or care one way or the other.
Post # 3
I can relate- I know I can’t wear the “same” ring on one finger as styles DO change. But I plan on swapping out my settings and keeping my diamond in about 10 years. My husband never takes his ring off, but his plain gold band won’t really “go out” of style.
Post # 4
Several of my family members don’t wear theirs all the time (or at all). Some just don’t like wearing rings and their partners don’t care. Some prefer wearing their other rings and like you, see it as more a fashion/style thing.
I love seeing people do whatever makes them happy and whatever suits them. So I don’t judge someone who doesn’t want to wear their wedding set 100% of the time (unless it’s a case of them trying to deliberately hide the fact that they’re married, then that’s a definite no-no).
Post # 5
PumpkinPie-PeachyKeen: I don’t wear my rings to work, sleep, cleaning, showering, cooking… DH has never worn a ring in his life. We know we’re married, who cares what anyone else thinks?
I know for many newly engaged/married couples a lot of emphasis is placed on the ring (hey, an entire portion of WB is dedicated to rings!) but as the years go on it becomes less essential to daily life.
Post # 6
I know family members that don’t wear rings, for whatever reason. DH’s mom never wore hers for a long time, because it was either lost or it was broken. However, a couple years ago – him, his dad and siblings went in on a new ring for her… which she wears all the time now. DH also has an uncle who just has never worn his, but hiw wife wears hers.
Like most things, to each their own. Unless I knew it was due to something shady… I maybe wouldn’t wonder, or may now that this topic has been more brought up.
Post # 7
PumpkinPie-PeachyKeen: As long as “something” is on my ring finger, my husband is happy! Goes both ways. His wedding ring is tucked safely away and he wears a tungsten ring to work. We’re happy!
In other words, if you feel restricted “creatively”, don’t. You can wear anything on that finger to symbolize your union. Or like PP said, nothing at all. It’s up to you and your man.
Post # 8
I think this depends on the situation and what you and your spouse are comfortable with. I was raised that you wear your ring, my whole family wears their rings. They might take them off at home, but generally they stay on. That’s what I’m used to and personally I can’t imagine not wearing it. That said, I can see your point, and whatever works for you and your spouse you should go with. I wouldn’t judge someone on that unless they were deliberately hiding that they are married.
Post # 9
Thanks for all the responses!
Post # 10
I’m a vet tech and I cannot wear my Engagement ring at work 🙁 but I wear it when I have time off. When we get married i can wear my plain band. My other half can’t wait to wear his. I think it’s a traditional thing and a lot of people are moving away from it, do whatever you like 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
I wear my rings when I go out only, never while at home. DH never wears his. We don’t care, feeling and acting married has nothing to do with the rings.
Post # 12
PumpkinPie-PeachyKeen: I agree with all the other PPs: whatever works for each couple is the right way to do it.
My parents have been married for 57 years this December. My dad was an aircraft and powerplant mechanic, so he couldn’t wear his wedding ring at work. It was too dangerous. He wore it, I think, for about a week after they got married. After that, he took it off and never put it back on. (I actually have it now, as he told me to take it last time I visited them over the summer.) My mom always wore her rings.
My DH often doesn’t wear his ring. He’s on his third (I think?) wedding band, as he keeps losing them. He wears it when he remembers — LOL. I wear at least a plain wedding band pretty much all the time. I just love wearing my rings (and jewelry, in general).
Post # 13
I wear my rings almost all the time, and I have a cheap stand-in ring for when I want something on my finger but don’t want to risk something happening to my real rings, my ring finger feels naked without having something there.
A few months before we got married, my then-FI and I went through something kind of scary, and the next day he decided to buy himself an inexpensive engagement ring. He still wears it as a stand-in sometimes. He doesn’t usually wear a ring around the house, but he doesn’t like when he forgets it when he leaves.
As far as other people go, I say whatever works. When I happen to notice people’s left ring fingers, I usually assume they’re married or engaged if there’s something there, and not if there isn’t, but I don’t think it’s weird if I find out that isn’t the case.
Post # 14
I love my engagement ring, but it’s over three carats. I don’t always feel comfortable wearing it. I haven’t had any issues.
There was one time when a guy at the gym hit on me. I immediately told him I was married. He looked down at my bare ring finger and said, “yeah right.” But who cares? I don’t.
Post # 15
I can’t wear a band with stones for my work as a NICU nurse. I went through a couple of cheap bands that kept getting eaten by the handwashing and hand sanitizer. My H also works in a lab and his WB was getting destroyed. We ended up getting tungsten bands as work/stand-in bands for a wedding anniversary. I wear my real set when I go out but I rarely wear anything at home. DH’s parents and his sister wear their rings all the time. My mom wears her ring all the time and my dad wears his most of the time. My best friend wears her set when she goes out and a plain band the rest of the time. Her H only wears his band when they go out. Her parents never wear their rings. I think it’s whatever works for you and your husband.