(Closed) Not wedding related, Baby Daddy Drama…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If he wants to cut his child support payments by 85% does that mean his EI is paying him 85% less than his normal pay? Did he tell you how much he’s recieving on paternity leave?

If it was my child, yeah I’d be pissed. Your first child gets less because you’re having a second child?

Post # 5
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can you take him to court? I mean obviously that sucks but he can’t just not provide for your son because he’s choosing to take time off for his new kid.  Obviously he’s living off something.

Post # 6
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Well, firstly, you should get a court-ordered or mediated support order in place. That helps to protect your child in all kinds of different scenarios. It will be worth the money to have it set in stone.

Certain provinces actually do reduce the amount of child support provided to a first child after a second child arrives, but this varies immensely from province to province. Other provinces continue the original level of support to the first child to maintain a stable and fair support for the child. He will be receiving less than 50% of his income on EI (maximum insurance earnings is just over $45,000 per year). My understanding is that even if you had court-ordered support, he could apply for it to be reduced given the reduction in income while on parental leave.

Post # 7
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@loving_life:  I agree. And if you can’t take him to court, have you considered mediation?

Post # 8
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

You know that they both cant take a year off on EI…its one year combined.  So if they both take it off at the same time, they only get 6 months. 

Unless he is choosing to not work or get paid…then he is being an a-hole IMO and not providing for his child by choice.

ETA

I dont like the wording of my last statement.  ugh,  he should still provide way more than $150 a month.  I am sure even low income parents have to pay more than that for child support…

Post # 10
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nel13:  My understanding is the consumer credit protection act (CCPA) reduces a parent’s liability for support by 5-10% when he/she is required to support another family (Federal gov’t anyway, it can vary by state).  Cutting out 85%?  That’s completely unreasonable.  If he follows through with this, it may be time to get a court ordered agreement in place. 

Post # 11
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ouch, I’m sorry.

I’m actually going through this as well with my daughters father. But we have court ordered child support. He pays $600 a month for her child support but when he gets out of the military he tells me he plans to take two years from working to be a full time student so he wont be paying child support. He’s taking me to court for it, which is fine by me.

I’m a full time student and I work and I’m the one who cares for my child if I can do it so can he. I told him “You’re a parent, you don’t have the luxury of staying home all day and only going to school full time”

 

Take it to court, and before he takes his leave. I don’t see how a judge would side with him

Post # 12
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@JemmaWRX:   I just DO NOT want to deal with lawyers because I honestly feel like he will win, he can afford a better lawyer than I can.

This isn’t about a lawyer or making a case (unless he intends to seek primary custody).  In my state it seems pretty concrete – Mom has primary custody, Dad makes $X, Dad owes $X per year.  It could vary from state to state, but that’s my understanding of how it works here.

Post # 13
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Nel13:  But child support isn’t about anyone winning – it’s laid out in the guidelines what percentage of income is paid at each income level. If he’s the non-custodial parent, then he must provide proof of his income, whether that’s at his current salary level or at EI levels (and actually, if I’m thinking correctly, they base it off your previous year’s taxes).

The fact is, he has the right to take parental leave with his new baby. But he also has the obligation to provide support for the son he shares with you. That support *will* go down if his EI income is what the court uses to determine his child support obligations, but it won’t be reduced as drastically as what he wants to do. I know it sucks to deal with lawyers and every second of it is expensive, but it’s about protecting your child. To me, that’s more important than planning a wedding. (I don’t mean this maliciously or to insinuate that you don’t care about your son because of course you do, but the wedding really is secondary to this).

Post # 14
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Nel13:  My ex used a really expensive lawyer here and I didn’t have a lawyer. (Granted I’m in school studying law but this was before I went back to school). My ex asked for only $400 in child support, he wanted to claim her every other year in taxes, he wanted me to pay for a 3,000 credit card and a car that was in impound after a accident.

I went through the papers highlighting everything I saw that I did not agree with and ended up meeting with the lawyer about 5 times to discuss everything. His lawyer even threatened to have my child taken away. But you know your basic rights. I got everything I wanted and then some.

I got a check for everything I left behind when I left him, I got 600 in child support, I claim her for all taxes, being that I didn’t have a car or license at the time he had to provide transportation, he paid my credit card and he paid the impound fees. And I didn’t have a lawyer, I went against a very expensive lawyer.

 

Point is, don’t let them scare you, that’s what a lot of them try to do. Learn the laws, do research and find out how much you are entitled to and bring it to court. It was easier for me because his lawyers drew up the papers and I just edited them pretty much, but maybe you can threaten him with a lawyer and he will get one to file the papers. Just be sure to read every last word over and over and over again and don’t acept anything you don’t agree to

Post # 16
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Nel13:  If you have been the custodial parent for his entire life, your ex will not receive full custody even if he is home full-time. The most he would be able to receive would be shared physical custody.

My point is, if you don’t take him to court, your son is the one who loses.

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