Weddingbee boards

  FI & I live about 10 hours away from our family for employment reasons. Last Christmas my parents and sister came & stayed with us which was great since neither of us had time off or money to travel. FI's mom traveled to be with his sister who also lives far away. This year I have 2 weeks at Christmas off and was really hoping to get to go home to see family and FI was hoping his mom and sister would come to stay here since he is working Christmas Day (they have a Christmas party at his fire station & families hang out the whole day). Well now FI's sister wants to stay where she is for a work Christmas party at which one of the "prizes" is an envelope with "thousands of dollars" in it & last year she got a "knife set worth hundreds of dollars". And FI's mom doesn't see a need to come here as he will be working anyway. There is no way I am letting him spend his first Christmas working alone. As I had hoped it would be an extended trip home and can't imagine leaving him all by himself. I guess I just don't understand. In my mind a chance of winning thousands of dollars doesn't replace being with your family, especially after you had not seen them the previous Christmas. I get if they can't be here ON Christmas Day even but they aren't going to come at all. I know I wouldn't dare say anything but part of me wants to let them know how petty and materialistic it all sounds. Would you skip seeing your family for a CHANCE that you MIGHT get a large sum of money?

 @ cobalt: Yes I agree thousands of dollars is a lot of money to me as well. However it is not promised it is one of the "door prizes" that someone will win. And I understand not wanting to miss it but they aren't planning to come out at all. And yes he's working but in firefighting at least here it is a tradition that the family spends the day with them at the station. They have food hang out, do the whole thing there since every third year it's your turn again. This is not a job where he can't interact at all with them & they'd just be alone all day.

 I understand it is just a day and you could celebrate earlier or later. If they came the day after he would still be excited. It is that since they have one event they aren't coming at all.... ? If they do not come then I am going to wait to go home until after Christmas so we can do something Christmas Eve and go to the station. It isn't a huge deal I was just kind of confused about it all... especially after he got the "put your family first"& "I'm busy but I make time for my family" lecture from his sis a couple months ago. New family new priorities.

I guess I just look at it as what if she doesn't win that "prize". Maybe I haven't been clear that she won't automatically get thousands if she goes to the party it is one of the possible gifts.What if she only gets the dreaded bubble bath & lotion set... then would it still be worth it. If it was certain she'd get the money but had to be there to get it I'd say heck yes stay and get it! She'd be able to pay for the plane ticket and still have $ to spare!

I think a great compromise would be to push a family Christmas until everyone get finish their Christmas Day plans.  The day itself is just a day, but a holiday (to me) is about family.  Change the day you celebrate ALL together to a different day.  That way, everyone is happy.  And if she wins the money, you'll get a better gift anyway, right?  ; )

  They are not planning to come AT ALL. It's just hard on me to see FI sad that his family isn't coming to see him for the holidays. It isn't even that it's a holiday as much as holidays are an excuse to make big trips to see family, especially if you haven't seen them in awhile. I guess we'll see them at the wedding.

 Also sister and mom would not be traveling together since they live about 12 hours away from each other as well.... ? So not sure why mom couldn't come since either way she would be traveling alone.