Oh now get this.. I just had to share. Last night, during an excruciatingly LONG phone conversation focused on the antics of my drunk brother, I mentioned to her that IF and WHEN we ever get together for my “birthday dinner” that my eldest son won’t be there.
Reason why; the day of my b-day my 2 wonderful boys offered up their own money to take me to a particular restaurant they were raving about but was not in the budget. They’d recently been to this place when they were with their father earlier in the summer and it’s a chain place so there are 3 of them here but kind of pricey. So, they offered up their own money earned from working odd jobs from their paternal grandparents so that we could go to this place for the b-day dinner. Basically to pay the difference between the place they wanted to take me and the place I would have gone otherwise (close to the house little dive, yummy and cheap but nothing “fancy”)
The problem was that the decision was made last minute and my mom lives 45 minutes away and has my grandmother to care for 24/7 so she was not able to make it. Nor was my brother, because he is broke and had no gas money to come (he also lives 45 minutes away, in another town in the other direction).
So my mom was insisting that we still get together with her and me, FI and the kids, plus my brother, for an official “b-day dinner”, but that was what I mentioned in the last post, how she kept putting it off every day. Every day she’d say “Okay so we will get together tomorrow around 4?” and each day following she’d say “Well I can’t do it, how about TOMORROW?” and this went on and on. So finally we decided FOR SURE on Friday (yesterday) and sure enough I couldn’t get her on the phone all day then at 4pm she texts and says “Well it’s 4 o’clock now, how about TOMORROW?”
I was only responsible for ONE of those cancellations because I ended up with last minute financial aid school crap to deal with on Thursday and it HAD to be dealt with in person.
So anyway, my son (18) had made plans to go out of town with friends today, saturday, so I am telling my mom that he won’t be there because he’d been stringing along his friends for a week when they asked if he could go due to the b-day dinner being rescheduled EVERY day and finally I told him we’d FOR SURE go Friday and so he told his friends he could for sure leave with them on Saturday. Since HE already had dinner with me, I was okay with him skipping it and leaving with his friends, vs. hanging around again only to have her cancel again!
So I tell her this and she says, and I quote:
“Well I already told him that if he wasn’t going to be there then I didn’t want to be there either..” (he being my son, who she worships)
And the sad thing is, by the way she said this to me so casually, I don’t think she even realizes how awful and hateful it is to say this?!
I have half a mind right now to tell her to just send me the money she would have spent, as I can put it to good use wedding-wise, and then she won’t have to “endure” a dinner that is missing my oldest child!
And as predicted, there is no b-day dinner today, so had my son hung around for it he would have ended up doing NOTHING, no trip with friends OR dinner…(glad for him that he left!!) and my mom is now wanting me to go to my brothers and “deal” with him as she is afraid he is either suicidal or planning on running off out of state (long story, another post)… so I am being sent on a family crisis mission because she “can’t talk to him” but she is worried about him. Um yeah, maybe because she’s a hateful you know what!? maybe she should learn how to TALK to people.