Weddingbee boards

This morning I found out I am six weeks pregnant. We were not trying. I have been on the pill since August, have taken it every day, and within a half hour of my usual time frame as well. I found out by complete chance. I went to our family planning clinic to ask them why my usual regular cycle has been so screwed up the past two months.

It never arrived in November, then showed up two weeks late in December on the 10th, and after that I was unsure of when to expect it next since I have never had that issue. At first the nurse said it was normal and not to panic unless it didn't show for another month, but the more she thought about it and the length since my last period, she decided to have me take a test just to rule pregnancy out. 

I was waiting in her office for the results. She came out of the other room, and gave me a quick glance and then darted off to the office. When she returned, she set two tests on her desk and explained that she wanted the other girls to confirm it too, because both were positive and she couldn't believe it. I was in a great deal of shock. It took me a long time to process it as I stared at the two tests blankly. When she started speaking about the other options of adoption or abortion I finally snapped out of it.

Although this pregnancy was unintentional, I certainly had no thoughts of getting rid of the baby. My FI and I plan on having children in the future. The problem was that we are getting married August 18th, and I am due September 15th. My biggest concern was trying to figure out whether to get a new dress or bump up the wedding date.

When I got home tonight, my FI was lying on the couch. He's been sick, and today it got worse. It wasn't the ideal situation to tell him, but I wanted to let him know right away. I knew he wasn't exactly going to be thrilled about the news, but I also did not expect the reaction I received either. He was quite indifferent about it and all he talked about was how we'd have to call off the wedding now, along with a few other comments about how I have to tell my parents and so forth.

I understand that he is not thrilled about this and that it will take him time (hopefully) but I really needed the support from him. Anything. Even a hug or him telling me we'd figure it out would have been enough. Especially because I know when I inform my mother tomorrow that she and my father will freak out. I'm still their little baby in their eyes, and the timing isn't exactly ideal either. It just would have been nice to receive some sort of comfort from him.

Later, he came in to our room because he wanted to go to bed early from not feeling well and found me crying. He thought it was because of the wedding, and that was part of it. I've had my heart set on my dream wedding, and now he says we have to call it off because there is no way we can afford that and the baby. I understand that, and I agree. It is a very big wedding. But it didn't just end there, he just couldn't understand that what was really hurting me the most was how he was handling the situation around me. He tried comforting me a bit, but the things he said while doing so did not really help any. It was all about telling me to go watch something funny on TV or to call my mom and tell her.

The other issue is, I don't feel that the wedding has to be called off. He thinks we will have to do a courthouse wedding and call it good. I don't understand why we can't have a very small wedding, with just our close friends and family. I already have my dress and accessories. Why wouldn't getting married before I begin to show, and on a small budget work out instead?

I just needed to get this off my chest. I've got a million things on my mind right now, and I can't really talk to him about it at the moment.

@mcklough:  That was what I was thinking as well. Trying to tell him something when he's sick doesn't go too far. I just didn't want to keep the news for however long it would take for him to get better. I thought it best to just let him know right away. Hopefully when he's had a little time to think about it he'll come around a bit more.

Congratulations on your unexpected surprise! I know you are freaking out right now, but I'm sure things will turn around and work out for the best.

When I got pregnant the first time, DH and I were not preventing but due to medical issues did not expect me to get pregnant. We were already in a good position to have a baby in case it did happen but he was so surprised that his reaction was really hurtful to me. I first used some cheap strips and tested positive so he didn't believe it and made me get one from the store. When that tested negative, his response was "Well, that's good!"After some time and me telling him that I was excited at the idea, he became very supportive and excited too. I think it really takes a while for something like this to sink in for men, especially when it is unexpected. They can't feel any change or see anything yet so it probably doesn't seem real to him. Give him time and when he is feeling better, bring it up again and discuss your hopes for a small wedding. I'm sure once he has the chance to wrap his head around the idea that he is going to be a husband and a father in a much shorter time frame than he expected, he will be more open to plans and ideas.

Good luck and a happy, healthy pregnancy!

Well, I let my mother know this morning. I thought she was going to freak out on me. She wasn't happy, that was for certain, but she was surprisingly rational. I discovered I am no longer on my father's health insurance so she also agreed with my FI that he and I should get a courthouse wedding pronto and after the baby is born have a big wedding with everyone. It isn't exactly what I want, but I do agree that it is probably the best solution at this point. So, my wedding is now at a stand still. I will have to store my wedding items for now and go baby shopping and planning instead.

I am hoping now that I have spoken to my mother along with made my doctor's appointment and have my prenatal perscription made, that my FI will be settled a bit. I am just going to give him some space on the issue and not bring it up. He can come to me to talk about it when he's ready. Hopefully by then he'll have settled into the idea a bit better, and not be ill either for that matter. Talking to him when he's sick is very difficult. I could tell him Tom Brady was coming to our house to visit him personally and he'd still probably grumble. So, it was rather unlucky timing to inform him about the baby.