nothing beyond engagment? Opinions?

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Their relationship, their decisions! It doesn’t affect anyone else. 

Post # 3
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think it’s a bit strange because the point (and end goal) of being engaged is to get married, but oh well if they’re both happy with this and it works for them then that’s fine.   I wonder if they both actually really agree on this though.

Post # 4
Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is very illogical. Being married can only help you financially, such as when filing taxes and sharing health insurance. I’m wondering whether she knows this??! (How could she not though?) What on earth is she talking about?

Post # 5
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

I think that’s kinda pointless TBH. The whole point of an engagement is a formal committment to an intent to get married. If you don’t intend to get married you can’t be engaged, by definition of the word. People even used to say “engaged to be married” and eventually that just got shortened to “engaged.” You can get a ring for funsies, but it’s not really “being engaged” if you have no plans whatsoever to get married. 

However, if someone in my life decided to do this, I wouldn’t make rude comments. It’s not my life, not my circus, not my monkeys. To each their own. 

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

I respect whatever works for them.

I’ve been in a relationship for 13 years and have no desire to get married because that’s what works for us.  My boyfriend  just recently bought me a commitment ring that I wear and make clear that’s it’s not an engagement ring if anyone asks.  I do want to make clear that my commitment to him is for a lifetime.  We believe that we don’t  need a piece of paper to bind our committent.

Post # 8
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

MrsSnowMountain :  Actually for some people being married doesn’t make financial sense. Like if you have a child but aren’t married so you qualify for certain things since you’re a “single mom.” 

Post # 12
Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

llevinso :  Perhaps this is different where you vs. I live. Your comment makes no sense to me regardless, because OP said her friend and her partner are planning on having kids together…and presumably having joint parental custody.

At any rate my comment was in part an attempt to clarify if there is some such unusual/extenuating circumstance, when none was given in OP. 

I’m not at all saying they’re wrong to do whatever they want… I’m just amazed and concerned that OP’s friend seems misinformed or ignorant about the financial benefits of marriage, so I’m inquiring about the reasoning to see if there is in fact something extenuating. If there was, I would think OP would have mentioned it?? 

Post # 13
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MrsSnowMountain :  

llevinso :  Married couples can face a significant tax penalty. (I know from personal experience. It’s the reason I’ve been engaged for 3+ years.) When we got engaged we DID intended to get married within the year. We are both fiscally conservative and everytime we think about the tens of thousands of dollars in taxes we’ll save by putting it off another year, it gets pushed back. 

Post # 14
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with you that love is love but court marriages aren’t expensive. I’d only think this would be beneficial with tax, health insurance and other things…to each their own.

Post # 15
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ok that’s just weird. Seems like all she wanted was a shiny ring and he bought her one just to shut her up. But hey….not my life. 

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