nothing beyond engagment? Opinions?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 62
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Whatever floats their boat I guess but I find it very pointless.

Being engaged has an intent to get married so to me your friend is not engaged she has a ring.

I mean the whole proposal includes “Will you marry me” and they dont see getting married in a long time.

Also getting married costs next to thing as far as getting actual license.

Post # 63
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

mrspedtobe :  I know a couple like this, they got engaged shortly after highschool and went on to having kids, house etc. They’ve been ‘engaged’ for like 18 years now and for a while people would ask but then it just started to seem unfinished and sad. It automatically invites the question of why??? And it looks to the outside like the guy doesn’t really (maybe ever wanted) want to bite the bullet and stuck around for the kids. Kind of sad actually. That’s just how it looks from the outside.

Post # 64
Member
677 posts
Busy bee

The only reason I’ve heard of anyone having more than a 2 year engagement was because one was finishing school and/or they were in a long distance relationship. Your friend’s situation is puzzling since they both live together already…not really sure what could be the reason. Maybe they are both just easygoing people and in the “it’ll happen when we get around to it” mindset?

Post # 65
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband and I never got legally married and won’t for a while because of insurance and other financial issues. We’ve put other legal protections in place and had a commitment ceremony officiated by a minister, so we’re religiously married, just not married in the eyes of the law and we’re very honest about that with people, especially people that we do legal/financial business with. Legal marriage just isn’t a fiscally responsible option right now and that’s okay with us.

At the same time, my great aunt has been engaged to her partner for over 60 years. The reason why they aren’t married: They just simply never got around to it. More important stuff came up but they’re one of the happiest couples I’ve ever seen. 

Post # 66
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

stcott : I always wondered how people felt about symbolic marriages. Do you ever plan to legally marry or are you not convinced it’s needed?

This is an extremely informative thread.

Post # 67
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We absolutely want to when we have all our financial ducks in a row but we’re not in a rush. As far as how others felt about it, some people didn’t get it at first but ultimately they were just happy to see two people in love doing something about it. 

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