Post # 1
So it has recently been pointed out to me , more than a few times, that my FH and I have nothing in common. I mean we differ right down the the essence of the word.
I’m a cat person – mind you I love dogs, but i have a firm belief that they belong outside the house to protect it – FI is a dog person- to the point where he wants the dog in the bedroom with us.
I sleep with the TV on, FI wants it pitch black.
I love take out food, FI would love for me to cook 5 course meals everynight.
I put family beore everything, FI puts friends before everything.
I want to live in a high rise condo / apartment. FH can’t stand the idea.
I want to move up north / FH never wants to leave Florida.
…and the list can go on. I mean I have grown to where I accept all of Sunday is a dedicated football day and the dog is part of the family. and likewise he has accepted my cat to the point where the cat likes him more than me and that i’m not a 4 star chef. but this worries me that we are so different. and I know people say that opposites attract but i mean i dont think we could be more differnt if I was an apple and he was a Frog.
Post # 3
haha I could go on and on about FI and I’s list as well. The most important aspect of a marriage/ relationship is compromise. This is how our relationships are tested. The most important relationships are the one’s worth fighting for.
Post # 4
Not really sure why this worries you? If you have been together long enough to be engaged then shouldnt you know that it works out even though you are opposites?
Post # 5
worries me b/c we recently went to an engagement party and it seems the couple have everything in common and totally mesh (forgive the clueless term). FI and I have been together for just under 7 yrs and althought its never been a problem seeing how well they get along and how much they love to do things together got me to thinking.
Post # 6
I think we all have our differences, it helps balance us and allows us to see a larger view of the world than just our own. As long as your fundemental beliefs are similar and you want the same things out of life than I think you can make the little differences work. Do you both agree on wanting or not wanting kids and ideas on how to raise them?
The only difference you mentioned that I think could be a concern is where you want to live. Would you be okay living in Florida forever? Would he be okay moving up North if you were able to get a good job or something? I have a friend who split up with her husband and one of the reasons (not the only one) was he wanted to live in a rural area/small town and she wanted to be a in big city and eventually end up in New York.
If you are concerned, be sure to talk about things and make sure you are in agreement or willing to compromise, and be happy, about the big ones. Preferring cats or dogs shouldn’t define your relationship.
Post # 7
I’m glad you brought this up, b/c I was talking recently to my friend who got divorced 4 years ago and she was saying how one of their problems was the fact that they had nothing in common. I am still totally perplexed by her statement, the examples she gave were things like you said, going to bed with/without TV on, condo vs. house with yard, etc. I mean, I understand how this could create a small problem, but things like those can be easily worked through adn not to get judgy, but IMO it almost sounds like they just gave up instead of working on it and trying to compromose.
When DH and I differ on our opinion about something like that, we 100% of the time work through it and arrive at a mutually acceptable conclusion. That’s the only solution: meet in the middle. DH likes to stay up late during the week and get up early (he only needs like 5 hours of sleep I am so jealous), but by 10:00 I’m falling asleep on the couch. So instead of fighting about what we’re going to do, he tucks me in and joins me later on. And he prefers condo life while I want a house with a yard, so our compromise is to wait a few years before making the move. It’s not a big deal to me because I want to be with him more than I want my big house, and we’re meeting in the middle.
Post # 8
FI and i are so opposite! But we even each other out and he’s my best friend so we know how to compromise with each other. Differences like that shouldnt be a make or break it for your realationship. My FI loves dogs and i love cats, he hates cats. So, we got a dog and a cat will probably never step foot in our house.. and im ok with that! Little things like that dont bother me when I know he’s the person i want to spend the rest of my life with.
Post # 9
Well we compromise as well. I have a cat. he has a dog – both do not sleep with us. so we are great to compromising. Guess i just needed to know that i wasn’t the only one who had NADT in common with her FI. yes we agree on sex, politics, religion and kids. so we got the big 4 that we agree on so that isn’t a worry. I love him more than i love myself so no worries there and at some point, as in when we have kids, i will talk him into moving out of florida because locigally if we both want the best for them the Florida school system is not where they need to be.
Thanks ever so much gals!