Post # 1
firstly im not sure if this is in the right place
ok so this is more of a rant let out my anger/upset
i started to plan my wedding in about march everything was going great i was also looking for my dad who had left my mum when i was 7 months old and had never seen him so when in april he sent me a message i was delighted (mite add my mother was not talking to me at this point) so all was going well at the end of april both my dad and his wife came over to visit me my partner and my kids all was good BUT his wife didnt stop with all the bad things my mum supposidly did to my dad and to which my dad did nothing to provoke it so anyway he assumed he was walking me down the aisle once i told him i was getting married anyway skip to may the 2nd we went over to orkney to meet his wifes kids etc all was good untill she told me we were going wedding dress shopping and her sons GF was comming so anyway i agreed got to the dress shop to see she had only 6 dresses and only 1 fitted me so i felt pressurised into getting it as she kept saying how great i looked etc. reality hit when i got home i hated it and got another dress which caused friction between us
now my mum starts talking to me and my dad and his wife start to make less contact (mite add i was never one to fone them first or even send a message) so my mum is all happy about the wedding etc but will not go if my dad is going and my dads wife says if my mum is going shes hiring body guards (abit immature)
so on friday i was at my mums and she asked if my dad or his wife had said anythinug about her so i told her about the body guard part and some bits but not the worst bits to which she told me was a lie so she posted somthing on facebook (immature) my dads wife seen it and went mental at me calling me a backstabber a stirring little shit to name a few words she said all i said was the body guard comment and another thing but when it comes to if my mum says somthing about her and my dad she demands to know as soon as so sat she messages to basically say ive turned against her and everyone i should delete them all off of facebook they did not pressurise me into anything ( i felt it) they wish me and the health and happiness in life and they are hurt shocked and dissapointed in me…..GREAT!! i dont know what ive done i havent turned against them i was never one to call first or anything they stopped calling me i mean from my dad foning 3 times a week this last month i havrent had call from him once! i invited them over as they were passing my house going on holiday to which they didnt take up my offer didnt even stop by to say hello
what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life has now turned into me and my OH have no choice to just go off and get married without telling anyone so from going with 80 people to the ceremony cutting it to 26 because of my stupid family now to me OH kids and 2 friends
i dont even see the point in me wearing my dress anymore doing my hair/make up nice anything i wanted the day with my family now its just us running away getting married comming home and saying thats us done it no photos no dance no cake no dinner nothing all my planning for the last months for nothing to wear my dress for 20mins to take it off again what is the point?
all i want to do is break down and cry
sorry for the very long post
Post # 3
Your parents have been extremely uncaring to do this to you. I agree you should probably have a smaller elopment ceremony. That doesn’t mean you can’t have your close friends and family (who have been there for you!) there. And elopement doesn’t mean giving everything up! Wear your gown, get your hair & makeup done, hire a photographer, have dinner, eat cake, dance! Do everything you ever wanted just on a smaller scale. Don’t let them ruin everything for you, that’s not fair to you or your partner. Your plans have changed & that’s ok, you can still have an AMAZING wedding! Best of luck to you.
Post # 4
Sorry to hear…. Be happy that you are now married and spending your life with your husband.
Post # 5
@charlotteross2bee: Your parents are being very immature. What ever happened between your mom and dad is between them and honestly however upset his new wife may be, she shouldn’t be causing drama. Ugh. “Grown Ups” should stop acting so immature.
I think you should still plan something even if it’s small. If wearing a white dress, getting your makeup done, eating cake and all that stuff is going to make you happy, then you should do it. I understand how your parents are, making it difficult but there are still others who will be happy to celebrate with you. 🙂
Post # 6
i dont know what ive done
You shouldnt be swapping gossip between your mom and stepmom, its highschool and you should know no good would have come from it as you betrayed your stepmoms privacy and trust in repeating her conversation knowing it would cause drama.
In future if either side begins to discuss the other you say loudly that you will not discuss the other person as its not fair to you and for god sake stop repeating what one says to the other, you are only fuelling it
Everyone is being immature but now you know where the line is. Going forward you are about to start your own nuclear family with your husband so focus on that.
Post # 7
@eloping: im sorry but i am not having some person whos not even part of me disrespet my mother like that! i would be wanting to know if someone was talking compleate lies about me! i told them from the beginning i did not want to know about the past etc and yet the very first day of meeting them my dads wife didnt stop telling me stories she knew nothing about my dad didnt say anything just her! and anyway it all started before i told my mum the stupid comment she made! so yes i dont know what i did as it started before i told her about it.
we have decided we are just going to do a small wedding OH dosnt want a dance etc so it shall be that way
Post # 8
Oh, I’m so sorry this happened. People can be incredibly immature.
I don’t think you should give up your wedding if that’s what you want! Tell your mom and your dad and his wife that you’re done with their drama, and if they want to attend, that means behaving like adults, and one more snarky, sniping remark out of any of them and they can all stay home. (And do it! 🙂
And I don’t think an intimate ceremony with just you guys and your kids and some close friends sounds bad at all. I’d probably prefer that, myself. 🙂 You have plenty of time to plan a lovely wedding, and just because it’s small doesn’t mean no cake or dresses. (One of the huge advantages of a smaller wedding is you suddenly have a much larger choice of reception locations too. It’s much easier to put 20 people in a private room at your favorite restaurant than 80. 🙂
Post # 9
Isn’t it great when you get to that point where you are more mature than your parents? *sigh*. It seems like your parents need to get over themselves and realize that you are the important person for this day, not their petty arguements.
I wouldn’t elope, unless you want to. If you do, make it special! Many a weddings have been extremely beautiful, elegent and charming elopements or very small weddings.
When you go dress shopping next time, is there someone else you can take? And aunt? Friend? Your kids? I think that you need to refocus on YOU and ignore the drama to find a dress that makes you feel as beautiful as you are.
Post # 10
@Elvis: ive told my dads wife again about hearing stuff i dont want/care to hear so hopefully it shall stop as for my dad i havent spoken to him in about a month hes not the problem its just the 2 women! well there is only going to be me mr ross the 2 kids and 2 friends so plenty of choice lol we mite still have cake but on a smaller scale as mr ross dosnt eat cake and i dont want to be piling on the lbs lol
@takemyhand: familys eh i feel bad tho as mr ross parents have said they will no attend to make it fair for my parents not comming (they are the only ones who know about us just going away and doing it) which is sad they have to give up watching their son being married because of my family! as for the dress i have found THE dress payed a deposit and shall finish paying it at the end of the month shall probly ask mr ross mum to help me with collecting it etc as my friend dosnt drive and the kids are 4 and 11 months lol. if im really stuck tho id just ask mr ross to drop me off and pick me up when needed
on the plus side if we are having a small wedding away we can do it much sooner than planned 😀
our hopeful venue http://www.dornochcastlehotel.com/
Post # 11
@charlotteross2bee: Yay for the dress…
AND OMFG I wish there were more castles in Canada. 😐
Post # 12
@takemyhand: lol if i lived in canada id be getting married outside!! some stunning veiws you could have to look out onto.