- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
My family is fucked up. Pretty much. My mother has refused to talk to me about my wedding with Fiance, but rather talk to my sister with whom I havent spoken about the wedding with for 5 months. I dont get a say in my own traditions to do, or anything- Im told after the fact, as is Fiance and his family. I am hurt, Fiance is frustrated, and his poor parents are completely in the dark.
In my culture theres this thing that is the equivalent of an engagement- I would have been happy to do it with a bit more warning and planning done with my mother- instead its 7 days away and I just found out about it yesterday- sister didnt tell me, mother didnt tell me…all they said was that “I had no choice”
I dont get a chance to even explain to my outside my culture inlaws about the ceremony. I dont get to show that what it means (hell even I dont know what the hell it means!) and most of all…..my sister arranged this, without telling me or Fiance, and probably did so because she wanted attention, validation, and to stir the pot. Even today when I told my mother I wish she had come to me to even tell me or ask if I wanted this, she told me I was a shitty sister, and accused my inlaws of not wanting my sister in the wedding…..my inlaws dont even know what the hell is going on, why the hell would they think that?
Apparently Im a shitty daughter. Apparently Im a shitty sister…all for the small small request that I have something to do with the planning around my engagement/wedding. All for the fact that I want my Fiance and his family to be included in everything. All for the fact that I had the BALLS to say something to them, and say how out of line they are. Even when I compromised on the tradition, as long as they included me and my fi in future ideas, they told me I had “no right to ask such a thing”.
Honestly….fuck this shit. Why do I not have time? Because I work full time now! Why is it my fault that you guys dont give a shit about us, how the hell does that make me the bad daughter? Why the hell does my sister have to put herself in every single situation having to do with my future? Why cant me and my FI’s boundaries be respected?
Im sorry Im ranty. I just spent the last hour crying my eyes out because I think the only thing to do in this situation is to cut out my family from our wedding. Any attempt to try and fix the situation through compromise, kindess, or respect has resulted in me being lambasted as some sort of horrible daughter. All I asked for was to be included in these decisions…..my parents arent even going to pay for the wedding now- me and Fiance want to save and do it ourselves. And yet they are still calling the shots.
Im so emotionally exhausted 🙁