- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Our history. DH was a single father since he was 19. He went through the struggles of being mom and dad since the childs mom gave up her rights. His goal was to provide a good life/house/mom/ for the one child he already had. Now we have that. I am a stay at home mom, everythings great, everything we talked and hoped for we have.
During our relationship we discussed that given what we’vce both been through, children are not on our list-maybe a possibility someday, but that we just wanted to crearte the home we always wanted with the child he has.
I have always had to care for the mess my mother has left in my family. Raising my half sister since I was 17, moving in to be full time care giver to our grandma who was diagnosed with parkinsons/dementia. It’s been me putting others more urgent needs before myself.
The other day DH and I were talking about family and he basically said that he always wanted a son. He said he would like to sooner thn later as he doesn’t want to be an “old dad.” We are 29 and 31. He even started talking about baby names. I tapped in and threw a few out there myself. I’m human. I ooh and aww over a baby too-but then reality hit’s me. DO I really want to start over? I’ve just recently gained myself back. I’m loving being the best mom I can to his daughter. Basically I love my life right now, and am afraid to start from zero in raising another human. But I have this guilt/pressure because he hasn’t got his son yet.
Will my mind change if I get pregnant with our child? I know no one can answer this question, but does it sound like a case of the over thinkers worries? And furthmore, if I choose that my life as it is is all that I want/can handle, does that fail my DH on my part? Even if we got pregnant, no guarantee it would be a boy. Thoughts?