Post # 1
So heres the deal…both my sisters are my bms. We’ve been searching for dresses, they went to look but couldnt find anything. The first dress I wanted to order quickly sold out of sizes, so I went with plan B a Vneck satin dress (shows a little cleavage, its to the knees, fitted and black. It also gets excellent reviews). Now one Bridesmaid or Best Man loves the dress and it willing to rock it, well the other refuses to wear it. What shes suggesting will make them look 11 and they are WAY to short. Personally I think its a nice dress, its a fall wedding and I wanted satin so it matches my dress too. Shes complaining saying its a mother of the bride dress and they are going to look 40. But to me, its classy and their bods are going to look smokin.
I honestly dont know what to do! Im seriously ready to tell the one, “wear it or I’ll find someone who will”. Ive been looking for 4 months and this is the only one I like. The sad this is I feel like I should have asked a good friend to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man and she would have been down for anything, but with the problem with having two sisters is if you have one, you need to have both. Any advice please!!!
Post # 3
Have you considered having the bridesmaid dress a different style? but both in satin and same colour?
I have been to weddings where the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were different esp. if they have different figures.
Post # 4
I have, like I said, I’ve been looking for 4 months. I want matching dresses (I dont like the mismatched thing), and they are the same size. I just dont get when did the BMs get to dictate the dress?
Post # 5
@Ashley_B: No advice, but I’m having a problem with the dresses too. We’re trying to find them super early, since two of my ladies will be saving for flights and their dresses. I got a price point from all three ladies separately: $200, $200, $40. The problem is, the one I LOVE is $220. Even if I paid for half of the one bridesmaid’s dress, it would still be over her budget. Now I have to find a different one that will always be second best to the one I love, and make it $80ish…for a long dress.
Definitely no help/advice coming from me, but I hope she just sucks it up and wears the dress you choose.
Post # 6
I’m just curious, will you show us the dress? I think you need to tell her she has to wear the dress. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, the one rule is to wear what the bride wants, I would never imagine to do otherwise. Has she been in other weddings? If not, maybe she doesn’t get it. I was clueless when I was Bridesmaid or Best Man for a family member and had never been in a wedding before.
I think because she is your sister, she prob. feels like she can have more say and argue with you over this. Would it help if you got your mom to just tell her to do it? I know this sounds childish but in sibling relationships, mom certainly has some input. If my brothers were refusing to wear a tux, I owuld have gotten my mom to make them do it.
Post # 7
@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie: have you checked out target? they aren’t the fanciest dresses, but they do have a limited selection of Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses at a much lower pricetag than many bridal salons. there are also those wrap dresses… henkaa.com has the best price, and if you paid for half it would be a lot closer to her budget, and way under the other girls’ budgets. good luck!
Post # 8
@Ashley_B: I think they got to dictate when people started asking them to pay for them. In my opinion if you want control over the dresses then you should pay for them. I think people lose sight of the fact that a Bridesmaid or Best Man role is about a person and not a dress. I would rather have my sister wear a potato sack if she wants then not have her as a BM!
Post # 9
I only have one bridesmaid. We found a dress easily, but now are going back to the drawing board to find her another one as she just found out she is pregnant. And every girl loves a reason to shop.
I personally knew that I would be paying for my bridesmaid’s dress. I didnt want her out of pocket when I am the one getting married. She has a mortgage, 2 girls (and a new bub on the way). The last thing she needs is me expecting her to fork out cash that she could use for her family. She told me she was happy to pay, but I just don’t feel that it’s right. Thats also why I am only having one attendant, as thats all I could afford.
On the plus side, having one bridemaid makes it a lot easier to choose a dress. I don’t have to worry about different shapes or styles.
We also paid for the Best Man’s suit as well.
Post # 10
Here is the dress. I honestly love it. Its going to be a late fall wedding, and I wanted the dress to not only match the season, but compliment my dress, and we have sort of a old hollywood theme going. I’ve actually offered to help pay for a little bit of it, so money isnt an issue because she makes more than enough. Every dress she want to wear is very juvenile and WAY to short. My next step is to call mom….
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
That dress completely matches the old hollywood theme (really wish I’d seen it for my bridesmaids!)
As a bridesmaid, she’s suppose to wear what you tell her to, and zip it. So what if a MOB could wear it- she could wear it again to another formal event. I agree with the idea that because she’s family, she thinks she can complain more. If you have to get Mom to step in, do it.
Post # 12
Ultimately, if a Bridesmaid or Best Man refuses to wear what you want her to wear, then she’s removing herself from the bridal party. You’ve chosen the dress, now it’s up to her to decide if she’d rather suck it up and wear it or just attend the wedding as a guest. The dress looks perfectly fine. Based on what you’ve told us, she sounds immature. How old is she?
Post # 13
Tell her that’s the dress. If she orders it, great. If not, then she has removed herself from the wedding party. You don’t want to be the one to kick her out because that will make YOU look like the bad guy. Also, don’t replace her. It not only makes her feel replaceable, it also makes the replacement feel like, … a replacement.
Post # 14
@MadameTussaud: She’s 19 lol.
And my fi I’d having 2 gms and doesn’t want 1. My friend who I was considering is very chill and understanding about thing to, so I know she wouldnt mind stepping in.
Post # 15
Sorry you’re dealing with this. Just wanted to let you know I love that dress you picked.
Post # 16
@j_jaye: I agree.
I’m sorry you’re having problems OP, but she’s your sister. Isn’t it more important that she’s with you than what she wears or if she matches? I could never throw my sister out of my bridal party.