Now I'm worried – denied marriage in Catholic Church?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I never heard of any priests denying anyone for living together. My husband and I lived together for 5 years and married in catholic church.

Post # 5
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Laur12:  My husband and I married in a well known church from city, before getting married we attended pre cana and I’d say majority of the couples lived together. There was one couple that was denied but thats becasue they were previously married.

Post # 6
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Our Protestant church asks couples who are living together to live apart before the wedding. They will marry you if you comply, but they won’t if you don’t. So maybe it’s like that.

Post # 7
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve never heard of a priest flat-out refusing to marry a couple. I have heard of priests who “strongly suggest” that the couple live separately if at all possible, but at the very least be abstinent for the duration of wedding preparation process (sort of a “why would you want to have a Catholic, sacramental wedding ceremony if you don’t actually believe and follow the Church’s teachings?” thing). I think some couples decide to go elsewhere when that’s what the priest says. 

Most of the time though, I think priests are not that straightforward about it. For the most part, they don’t want to turn anyone away from the Church, regardless of living situations. 

Post # 8
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Since I’m not engaged yet, I haven’t done any wedding planning of my own, but my best friend originally intended to marry in the Catholic Church that we go to, but learned that she and her FI would not be allowed to marry there since they had been living together. Apparently not all parishes do this as pp stated – I just wanted to throw it out there that my friend experienced the same thing your friend went through! Do you know anyone else in your situation who got married at the same church that you are planning to marry in? Maybe they could give you some feedback/information! Hope everything goes well for you!! 🙂

 

 ETA: I just read what some other pp’s said, and I should add that as I wasn’t there with my friend, I really don’t have ALL the details, so the suggestion to live apart before being married very well could have been brought up! So I’m not sure if the priest flat out refused, or suggested something that they were unable/unwilling to cooperate with! Sorry, I should have thought more carefully about my response before chiming in 😡

 

Post # 11
Member
466 posts
Helper bee

Wow, you’d think they’d want to marry you up so you stop living in sin.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Laur12:  Sorry! I didn’t mean to freak you out! I edited my post to reflect the fact that I may have no idea what I’m talking about lol. We live in Indiana.

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Laur12:  Well I hope everything works out for you! I’m guessing that being denied isn’t ALL that common – it’s 2013 and MANY couples live together before getting married, yet there’s no shortage of Catholic weddings! lol Happy planning! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Pretty sure the church is not allowed to deny marriage if youre living together, just to counsel you not to.  If this becomes an issue I would complain to the higher ups in your area.  You’d have to check the catholic church guidelines but I’m almost positive they can’t not marry you because of this.

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