Post # 1
Okay so I’ve been telling my bridesmaid for at least the past year about a specific dress called the twobirds bridesmaid dress. Its the dress you can wear like 15 differen’t ways and cost at least $260. I know its pricey, but I love the dress and when they all frist became my bridesmaids and we found this dress about a year ago I asked them if they liked it and if they were okay with the price. Mind you my wedding is 04/24/2010. I’ve been mentioning to them that we are going to go look at it and since it needs no alterations we’ve waited till now. Well in order to get the dresses for April we have to order them no later than the second week in January. The dresses have to be paid in full when ordered. We are going through bella bridesmaids in Los Angeles. I told all my bridesmaids that the dresses would need to be paid by then. All have no problem with that except for one say’s thats a little to soon for me.
So my first intinct is to say, “Well you knew when my wedding was, I’ve been telling you we are going to order them soon and now you say you don’t have money?” I would help her out with buying it, but I don’t have that money in my budget right now.
So what should i do? Should I ask her again if she’ll be able to purchase the dress and to let me know if she’ll be able to still be in the wedding? Should I change the dresses even though even so far likes them and can pay for them?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
There are four options: (1) change the dress for everone (might run into time constraints), (2) let her get a different dress in the same color (if that works for anything, it works for Two Birds bridesmaid dresses, (3) pay for all or part of her dress for her, or (4) kick her out. Kicking her out would be a pretty drastic move and will pretty much guarantee the end of your friendship. You say you can’t afford to help with the cost of the dress. You and all your bridesmaids like the dresses, so I’d suggest letting her pick another dress in the same color and with a similar fabric.
Post # 4
From what I’ve seen, those are really, REALLY simple dresses. Why not go to a seamstress, have them made at like $30-$40 each in whatever color fabric you want, and be done with it? I think it’s crap that she kind of reneged when she knew it was coming, but $260 is way too much for a piece of jersey material… and for losing a good friend out of your bridal party.
Good luck!!! I’m sure you’ll find a solution.
Post # 5
have you tried netbride, rk bridal, or pearl’s place? all of those places may have the dress at a less expensive price.
Post # 6
It may be just the holiday season that is draining her bank accounts.. who knows.
I would either let her get a dress similar to the dress chosen but at a more cost-friendly budget or get the dress made. If it is jersey, it shouldn’t be that expensive to get it done.
Post # 7
I wouldnt really want to pay 260 for that dress either. Its not really that well made for the price. I dont think you can force her to pay that much she needs to have options.
Post # 8
What color were you planning on getting it in? I know Victoria’s Secret had something kinda similar for like $90 awhile back. But I don’t remember what colors it came in.
Post # 9
Post # 10
She should have voiced her concerns from the beginning. It is a lot for a dress. I agree that you might try to have it made for less.
Post # 11
I think 260 for a BM dress is pretty outrageous. I think I would be slightly irritated if someone asked me to be in their wedding and then wanted me to waste 260 on a dress. Honestly. 🙁 Sorry not too helpful.
Post # 12
Also, check out butter by nadia dresses. I think they are the same thing and less expensive.
Post # 13
That sounds like a flashback for me. I had a bridesmaid first be upset with me that she wasnt the MOH. Then tell me she couldnt afford the $130 dress. I offered to pay for it and then she refused and I told her how much it hurt me that she wasnt in the wedding and now she wont talk to me and wasnt even invited to my wedding.
I would say whatever the cost is for the dress they should save up for it and be honored to be in your wedding. You could offer to pay for it or help pay for it and have her pay you back. But you are the bride and you should be able to order what you want. Your price isnt rediculous, its high, but you gave them all very much advanced notice and asked them first about it. I say if she doesnt get the dress or let you help her she doesnt deserve to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 14
@BlondieBee: OP doesn’t have money to help her with the dress right now.
That is a LOT for a jersey dress. And it may still need alterations even if it can be worn 15 different ways. I need alterations on nearly every dress I buy because I just have a weird body shape.
Personally, I don’t think you should “kick her out” over this. It’s very hard to come up with that amount of money in this economy, and around the holidays. If you can’t help your friend a bit with the cost, think about how hard it is for her to pay for it in full.
It’s really embarassing to admit to someone that you can’t afford something. I would possibly consider something a little more affordable for all involved.
Post # 15
It’s hard to ask a BM to pay so much for a dress, especially around the holidays when everyone’s bank accounts are stretched thin. I think you should look into other options, I’m wearing one of those multi-way dresses in my friend’s wedding and she found them for like $50 (pink) on amazon.com. Depending on the color, you can most likely find a better deal. I don’t think kicking her out should be an option, clearly she’s a close friend or you would not have invited her in the first place. Even though it is oyur wedding, it is important to consider your friends needs.
Post # 16
I know there is also an option for these dresses on Etsy (I think they are called the Chameleon dress) and they are cheaper.
This happened at a wedding I was in; my friends found out a couple weeks before the wedding that one of the groomsmen had not bought his suit yet because he couldn’t afford it. I understand that she has known for a long time, but I know for him, it was extremely embarrassing. He was ashamed that he had not been able to gather the money for his outfit even though they had ordered them long ago (I’m not sure of your bridesmaid’s situation but he had a lot of job issues). Rather than say something earlier, he kept waiting because he had hoped he could come up with the money.
In the end, the bride’s parents paid for his suit and that was that. I’m not sure if he ever paid them back or not. Maybe you could find someone to lend the money, and work out a payment plan with the bridesmaid? It is an awful lot of money, and she may have said yes initially because she didn’t know what else to do. Not everyone is good with their money.