Post # 1
Christmas is over and done with, and are you still patiently waiting? Maybe you’re expecting a New Years proposal now? Or maybe not? No ring but some progress on the communication front? Vent and share your story here!
Heres my update: (Warning: LONG! Sorry….)
I mentioned before that we were going to get my ring after he got paid on the 15th after he pushed it back last month. He’s known for quite some time that all I want is to be engaged, I don’t even care about the ring. Well this plan got shot to hell earlier this week. We were waiting to make sure all our bills were taken care of, and once things settled down he again asked what I want. I just gave him the look he’s become so accustomed to as of late. He started out saying that I could order it the next day. Then I told him I’d prefer to pull some money from our savings to make sure we weren’t going to be broke. He kept saying he really didn’t want to touch the savings. Then the conversation takes a turn. He admits that he doesn’t want me buying the ring online and knowing its coming. I tell him that this is the 3rd time we’re putting it off and I’m starting to feel like he’s just not ready but is afraid to admit it to me. He assures me that he’s more than ready and would take off work the following day and go down to the Justice of the Peace to get married if that’s what I want. So then I ask what the big deal is about getting my ring, especially when he knows I’m going crazy watching everyone (everyone!) around me get engaged before us when we’ve been together longer. Then it comes out, the truth I was completely not expecting. He tells me that he knows how badly I want to be engaged to him. Then he admits that he doesn’t want to just buy me an inexpensive ring (the one I picked is a solitaire Asha for only $480), that he wants to save his own money and get a ring for more than $1000 because he wants to see it and know that he saved and worked hard for it. He also admitted that he has a proposal planned already and that it will be funny but sweet and he said that I’ll love it and that it’s very meaningful towards us. I also admitted to him that I don’t want to be waiting until I’m 30 to get married (I’m almost 27) because I want our first child BEFORE 30.
So as excited as I was to get the ball rolling, and as let down as I was to find out he didn’t want to get my ring, I was extremely happy to hear that he has a far more thoughtful proposal in mind than I ever imagined (he’s not a very mushy kind of guy, he was a Marine for gods sake) and that he’s so determined to save for a ring that he feels is appropriate and fitting.
And now the wait continues. I have absolutely no timeline whatsoever besides before I’m 29 (haha), but i do know that he is very serious about everything. And even though he already asked my dad permission he also mentioned asking my dad again shortly before he actually pops the question.
All of this leaves me feeling a mixture of emotions. Happy, frustrated, impatient, thankful… Blah!
Anyone else care to share their updates?
Post # 3
@Saria213: If I was in your shoes, I’d probably tell him to buy me the cheaper ring now and get me an upgrade later– or some kind of anniversary ring? You’re more patient than I am!
My SO and I are celebrating our one year anniversary tomorrow, so I’m not in a rush. He’s been hinting that he wants to get married next summer– so he knows he has to get a move on if he wants that to happen– we need at least 6 months with a priest beforehand! If not, he knows he has to at least propose by August if he wants me to move in with him when I move to another graduate school. We’ve got our anniversary tomorrow, then we’re going on a big trip for NYE… so who knows?
Post # 4
No proposal here yet because I am officially eagerly waiting for it to happen during our vacation NEXT MONTH! I found a clue that he MIGHT HAVE PURCHASED the ring a couple of weeks ago, since then, I am going crazy with excitment and I also wonder if what I saw was really that promising… Ugh!!!
The suckiest part now is that I caught a cold and I’m coughing non-stop and I might have given my man cold as well. Ugh and Ew.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
Nope, not here either. Wasn’t expecting it, though. I thought maybe he was being tricky, as we opened one gift each on Christmas Eve, and he said not to expect it on Christmas, but my gift was a cd… An awesome cd, just not quite what I had in mind! We’re opening the rest of our gifts tomorrow (I guess today?) so I’m trying so so hard to push it out of my mind – I don’t want to be disappointed at all!!!! Not worth it!
Post # 6
Still waiting. Hoping for a birthday/New Years proposal but not sure I’m getting that either. SO thinks that Christmas proposals are tacky so I wasn’t expecting it then. Trying to be patient but it gets frustrating sometimes because he moves VERY slow. I think he just wants to reassure himself that he’s doing the right thing. We have a ring and he has it in his possession (and has for 4 months) I think he’s just waiting for the right moment. Not sure what that could be but for the most impatient person sometimes that is VERY hard. I know that when it does happen it will be great I’m just hoping for sooner rather than later.
Post # 7
No proposal here either but I am having a great trip with my SO!
Post # 8
We are long distance right now, and I do have a timeline (by early October) so that limits the chances of it happening. But in a good way, I’m glad I’m not waking up every day going “MAYBE TODAY?!?” but at the same time… gah! I am not patient. I have been waiting (without him being on the same proposal page so to speak) since February, so eeeppp!
Post # 9
No Xmas proposal for me either! I was really expecting it – I think it was the original plan. There are weird facebook posts on his wall from his friends that really seem as though they are waiting to hear if he ‘did it’ (i.e. “so what’s the good word??” <– this can’t really mean anything but ‘so are you engaged’….right??) I’m not really bothered by the lack of ring on my finger today though – I’m actually kind of glad that now I actually do get to be (kind of) surprised! I was so expecting Christmas eve that now I don’t know what to expect, it could be anytime! I’m excited : )
Plus I know he is now in posession of the ring. I think I was right in assuming that our recent issue / fight was the reason there was a change of plans. So now I just have no idea when it will be. Maybe new years? I’m kind of glad I didn’t have to be in the spotlight at my huge family dinner last night though, I was feeling really shy as it was and I pretty much just wanted to be invisible. Having people milling about congratulating me and asking questions would have been really overwhelming. Come to think of it, SO knows me so well that it’s possible my on-again-off-again shyness in big groups was part of his reason for putting it off until after Christmas. There are also a few family members that I am not really comfortable around and people who I’m always worried are going to start fights. Christmas with my family I guess is just not a happy time for me! I’m so much more at ease around SO’s family, and our friends here at home.
Post # 10
Me too. We are halfway across the country from each other right now, so I didn’t expect anything at all. Nonetheless, it was kind of a trying Christmas with two cousins planning weddings and all of the allusions made to me + SO getting engaged. (No direct questions to me, mind you, just offhand comments. So much more difficult to deal with– there’s no opportunity for a snarky reply!)
Post # 11
I’m still waiting too. Hopefully it will be soon for all of us!
Post # 12
My SO told me that he would never propose during Christmas so it was no big surprise to me that I didn’t get a ring. He already told me he isn’t going to do a new years eve proposal. I am hoping for one no later than July our anniversary . I have things to keep me busy until then. He has been mentioning jewelry stores now when were in the mall. I guess that’s always a good sign that at least he is thinking about it. His family started pressuring him this Christmas about when it’s going to happen. I just sat back and relaxed lol.
Post # 13
Still waiting here as well! Didn’t expect anything, so I’m not terribly crushed, although there’s the nominal amount of disappointment that I experience ANY day that passes without a proposal
More than anything right now I am just relieved that Christmas is over. But also, I’m very confused and have a lot of new questions. I guess I got a lot of mixed signals from SO over the past month, and while I didn’t really expect a proposal, at the same time I kind of hoped a proposal or something else would happen that would explain all the weirdness.
For example, a few months ago when SO and i had our big talk about the whole ring thing and whether we were still going to get engaged, he told me that that was the reason he was putting in so much overtime at work lately, and taking odd-jobs on the weekends and such, so he could buy me a ring. Well he worked overtime pretty much every day this month, and did some other work on the side. So it was really interesting when last week my SO announced that he had “worked enough overtime to do everything [he] wanted to do for Christmas”. Also, at Thanksgiving, my SO spent a good deal of time speaking with my dad, just the two of them. Then that evening out of nowhere SO brought up that they had a good conversation and then offered up a bunch of information about what they talked about, without any inquiry from me. His explanation was that they were talking about tvs, and that my dad wanted to buy a new tv for my mom for Christmas and wanted SO to come along and help him pick one out. Not in the realm of the impossible of course, but at the same time I thought it odd that he was so interested in letting me know what they supposedly talked about without my asking. Then last week I realized the whole thing was sorta fishy, because for the type of tv SO said my dad wanted to get my parents would have to completely replace or heavily modify their existing entertainment center, and that’s just not my parents’ style, my parents are VERY frugal and really won’t replace anything until it explodes, haha. So I asked my SO if he was still going to go shopping for tvs with my dad and if he needed his number. SO had no clue what I was talking about! I was like seriously?
So in summary, I feel like I have no idea what is going on around me anymore, and that’s a little irritating.
Post # 14
None here but I know 4 people that got engaged in the past week so I’m excited for them. I wasn’t expecting one though so I wasn’t let down.
Post # 15
Oh yeah, i forgot to mention, this whole week leading up to Christmas eve SO had a REALLY difficult time sleeping. There were a few nights he didn’t actually come to bed until 4 or 5 in the morning. I thought maybe he was nervous that Christmas was getting closer, but now I guess he was just excited about getting gifts. He’s such a child..
Post # 16
Yeah…my SO told me that he doesn’t plan to propose a) around either of our families or b) on holidays/special occasions, which pretty much blew away Christmas, New Years, my birthday (next month), our anniversary (February), and Valentine’s Day. He’s a jokester, though, so I was still hoping for a proposal on Christmas Eve or Day. It totally didn’t help that I had a dream on Christmas Eve that he proposed with the most gorgeous, sparkly ring. I was SOOO happy in that dream! Then I woke up….. It was Christmas, though, and I didn’t want to ruin the holiday, so I had to push down the huffiness and only let it out when I was alone. Argh…stupid dreams…..
He did tell me that he can’t wait to give me my birthday present because “it’s for the both of us.” So that could mean a ring…? Although I’ve been reading “ring” into everything lately. Lol!