- 4 years ago
After 7 years I am finally engaged! I am so happy that I will be spending the rest of my life with the love of my life! I still can’t believe it. After the initial excitement and questions of “so have you set a date yet?”, my fiancée and I thought about going away to get married just the two of us. My fiancée’s mother isn’t really happy about the idea of us going and getting married without her being there so we may think the idea over and have something small with family but we have’t set anything in stone yet.
In the past year, I have attended 3 weddings. They ranged from 50-250 people. At all three weddings, I noticed the brides were surrounded by tons of family and friends and looked happier than ever. One of these 3 weddings was my SIL’s (my fiancée’s brother and his wife). She is very close with her family (especially her mother). During the wedding planning she would say how she and her mother were going wedding dress shopping together, how she was going to wear her mothers veil, and how her mom was helping her with all the planning etc…
After she had her wedding album made she brought it over to show everyone. I was looking through the album and she has such beautiful pictures. They ranged from pics of her getting her hair and makeup done at her parents house, her mother and sister helping her get her dress on and fix the veil, her with just her mother, siblings, and bridesmaids before the ceremony, her at the ceremony walking down the isle with her father, and them at the reception having a blast with family and friends: all to celebrate her union with the love of her life. It was beyond beautiful…. It did, however, make me really sad because I realized I will never have any of that.
I will never have my mother to come dress shopping with me, I will never have that type of relationship with her (I never did), I will never have a Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaids and now that I am getting married it hurts. I never really cared much about it up until now. I feel that this is a time in a persons life where her mother plays a large role, and to have people who are happy for you. I am sad that I do not have a close relationship with my family like my SIL does with hers. My parents divorced when I was 11 (I’m 24 now) and when they divorced my brother and I moved in with my father and lived with him up until a year ago when I moved in with my now-fianceé. I am closet with my father, brother, and grandfather. My entire family consists of my parents, brother, grandfather, cousin and aunt. I literally have 3 friends. I am torn at whether I would even want a small wedding with just them and my fiancée’s family solely due to the fact that I am not close to half my own family.This is why I agreed on just the two of us going away and getting married, so I don’t have to bother with any of that nonsense, although I am sad that I will not get the experience my SIL had. This is another reason why even though my future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want us to go away to get married, I still want to because I don’t want to have a small wedding with family because it will just remind me of how my family doesn’t care.
I am happy that I am getting engaged…. I’ve been waiting quite a while for this moment to come. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else, and a tranditional wedding and having traditional pictures shouldn’t matter, but it still makes me sad :(.
Any advice? Comforting words? Thanks.