NTNP or TTC during engagement?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Member
3722 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well is really on you, how you feel about being preggos while engaged and if you are okay to adjust your wedding dress and all.  My hubby and i wanted to start TTC before we even got engaged, but once we got engaged we put a pause to it only cause i was so stress with the wedding planning that i didnt wanna cause any harm to the baby, if i got preggos.  I don’t regret stopping for a while.  Iam 30 now and just started again.  Good luck girl and best wishes:)

Member
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We were TTC for a couple months while we were engaged. We ended up stopping everything for the seven months that led up to our wedding for our beliefs but had we not stopped we would have been trying through the entire thing. I want to get pregnant, no matter when it happens.
I think it all depends on you and your fiance and how you feel about getting pregnant before you are married. It could make the dress difficult and you really shouldn’t be stressed while pregnant.

Member
2170 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Have you thought of pushing up your wedding date? I would be worried about your dress fitting when your wedding is so far out– post pregnancy bodies are hard to predict.

If it were me, I’d get married this spring and start trying a month before the wedding.

Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@jny1179:  I was 8 weeks pregnant on my wedding day this past June. Still fit into my dress as planned and the day was exactly as I would have wanted, expect no booze :) I didn’t have many symptoms at that point other than larger boobs and a tiny bit of morning sickness and more tired than usual. We found out 3 weeks before the wedding, and I have to say it made me absolutely not care about the little details about the wedding at all (and this was a good thing!). Programs never happened, I told the florist I trusted her judgement and let her do her thing, and I just kind of let things happen instead of trying to control every little thing. It was pretty awesome, my mind was too busy thinking about the baby to worry about the wedding. It really put things into perspective that a wedding celebration is just for a day, but the becoming a family thing is for life and way more important. I am 35 weeks pregnant now though and I would cry if I was having the big shebang at this point, I couldn’t handle a big wedding and being this close to the baby’s arrival. I am too tired and waddly to enjoy excitement for more than a couple hours. I have no regrets and can’t wait to meet our little guy!

Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We are getting married in March and started TTC in December and got our BFP! So I will be 13 weeks at the wedding. I hope this baby is a sticky one!

Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

We are. I’ve done the math and right now is the best time to get pregnant. Then I’ll be a couple months delivered by the wedding. Much as I want a wedding,  we want a baby more. It’s all a matter of what is right for you. And for us, it’s right.

Member
5129 posts
Bee Keeper

We were TTC during our engagement, about 2 months before our wedding. We probably would have started sooner but both of us thought the other wasn’t ready.

Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

What is more important to YOU a perfect wedding or having kids? I am also 32 and regret not starting TTC sooner. We started about 1 year after our wedding because we wanted to be more ready (job wise, etc). I wish we started sooner because it is taking longer than anticipated and I’m afraid we may not be able to have more than 1 child since we are not getting any younger and running out of time… 

Member
2619 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We’re debating this too. the wedding is in August and I still want to fit into my dress :) won’t really start trying fully (charting, etc) until May/June at the earliest. Debating if we’re going to be NTTP before then though

Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My husband and I are both 32 and I am *so* glad we didn’t try to ttc while we were engaged, because we started NTNP one month after our wedding and got a positive 2 1/2 weeks later when my period never showed up. From reading these boards I’d been sort of led to believe that it might take us ages to get pregnant, so we started “early” anticipating a long wait.

Everyone is different, but our families are conservative and me being pregnant before the wedding would not have been a good thing. We didn’t want that for ourselves either. I’ve also been unlucky enough to have extreme, 24/7 nausea for the past 5 weeks and I am unbelievably Bloated. While the extreme nausea doesn’t happen to everyone, it didn’t run in my family at all, and somehow I still got it. I can’t imagine having to go through a wedding feeling this bad.  We would have had to call it off, as I have many days that I can’t get out of bed.

i would advise you not to try until you really want a baby– meaning, don’t try early, expecting a long wait. You may conceive immediately,like us. =) we have friends our age who got married 2 months before us who are also preggo, so sometimes being older means nothing.  

Good luck!

Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Have you thought about getting off BC and starting charting?  This way you will know when you are ovulating, therefore avoiding the BD, but your body will have time to get back into its natural rhythm so when it is time you will be ready.

Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’re NTNP for the time being but still preparing by taking folate and I’m not drinking anymore. I figure if I slowly cut back on all of the bad stuff I won’t miss it so much in the 9 months I won’t be allowed to have it! We’re currently 9 months out from our wedding (so unlikely I’ll go in to labour at the alter lol) but I have looked over my dress to work out how to accomodate a baby bump if need be. We’ll start TTC a little more actively in a few months. 

I’d have to aggree with the other bees who have said that it really depends on your views and your priorities. In our case, we’re marrying not only because we love each other but because we want a family. It might take a while, so why not take a headstart? 

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