Post # 1
FI’s mother had a stroke a few years ago and can not get around easily. FI and FI’s aunt decided it would be best to hire a nurses aide to take care of FMIL during the wedding. They can push her wheelchair to get her from the ceremony to cocktail to reception, assist her in the bathroom, etc. without her family members needing to worry about her.
So my question is, am I responsible for paying $100 for her meal, does she get a vendor meal, or no meal?
Is she going to dress accordingly (cocktail attire) or is she going to wear black pants/white shirt, or scrubs?
Has anyone had experience with this? I don’t know proper protocol for this situation.
Post # 3
Unless you personally know someone you might not be able to get them to wear anything but scrubs. IMO I definitely think she should have a meal.
Post # 4
I’d assume that she’ll be dressing like a vendor (dark pants, dark blouse), and will require a guest meal, since she’ll be sitting and eating next to your MIL
Post # 5
@ajillity81: yes she should have a meal. Maybe a vendor meal, but tht might be awkward unless she is not sitting next to her & will be eating separately. I wouldn’t worry about what she is wearing- it really doesn’t matter.
Post # 6
I would give her the $100 meal (because she will need to be sitting with your FMIl during dinner, so you really need to 1) give her food and 2) give her the same level of food as everyone sitting around her).
As for attire, when you hire her I would just ask her what she would be most comfortable wearing, but I wouldn’t expect her to show up in cocktail attire (I think some dark Dansko’s, nice slacks and a nice blouse would be fine).
Post # 7
While yes she will be working, I would guess she will be sitting next to FMIL and giving her a sandwhich or whatever the vendor meal is while sitting with everyone else would be weird. And I would guess she would wear scrubs, but I would guess she is smart enough to were suble ones, not something neon colored or whatever.
Post # 8
Post # 9
My great aunt came with a nurses aid, she was dressed nicely like all other guest. She wasn’t wearing a gown, but wore a nice suit. I gave her a normal meal.
Although all my vendors had normal meals, if they didn’t I would have given her one regardless. I think it would be kind of mean to serve her another meal esp as she be sitting at the table with other guest. There no reason to for her to be made different from the guest, even if she is working. My food was more then yours and I was happy to pay it in order to have my great aunt there, because she bascially like my grandma and used to babysit me when I was younger.
I think shelling out 100 dollars to make fmil experience there easier is well worth it!
Post # 10
We had an aide for my grandma who is 95 at my wedding. She wore pants and a top, not dressy but not jeans. And we fed her a regular guest meal.
The help she provided to my Gran was well worth the cost of the meal, she was fantastic and really took a load off my Mom so we didn’t have to worry.
Post # 11
This is an educated guess, but as the job would possibly involve some physical aspects (helping with transferring, toile ting etc) I would expect them to wear comfortable clothes, either a uniform, dark pants and a shirt or scrubs. Definitely not cocktail attire. As for the meal, I think it really depends on how much help FMIL needs at meal time. If she needs someone to feed her, then I would expect that the aide would get their meal at a separate time, in which case a vendor meal should be fine. (If you expect them to feed your FMIL and ave their meal at the same time then its going to be very unfair to one of them.). However if she doesn’t need help eating but the aide will be sitting beside her, then I think it’s only fair to give her the same meal as everyone else.
Post # 12
give her a guest meal.
and i’m pretty sure she’ll know how to dress appropriately for a wedding. i doubt she’ll be in cocktail attire, but she will know how to dress.