NWR- apparently it's too much to ask to have a friend right now….

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsA1123:  I’m sorry, Mrs. A, that your friend wasn’t being more responsive during your time of need. Perhaps there was something going on that she is stressed out and that was her knee-jerk reaction, instead of being sympathetic. 

No excuse, I know- but that’s the problem with facebook/text, is there’s no intonation of voice, and conversations can be thrown/miscontrued haphazardly.

Have you thought about just giving her a call to talk? That way she can hear how upset you are, and respond accordingly?

Post # 4
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

So sorry to hear that. 

Hopefully your friend thought– in some roundabout way– that she was helping, but of course that’s not what you need now.

Big hugs. I know what you’re doing isn’t easy, but think how lucky you are to have a man that loves you this much. I know in a way that makes it harder (that he’s so lovely about it), but it’s so important to keep it in mind. He chose you and your girls. He knows what he’s doing!

Post # 5
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@MrsA1123:  I am so very sorry that your long time friend has not been very supportive. I wish there was something I could do for you.

Have your husband and you talked about surrogacy and maybe saving some eggs of yours?? Adoption is a wonderful thing and I wish you wouldn’t feel like you are failing your husband. Things happen that are out of our control, but it sounds like you have an absolutely wonderful supportive husband to help you through this. I know this is not easy.

Post # 7
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsA1123:  Are you fricking kidding me!!!!!!!! That is so uncalled for and completely rude.

That is a slap to the face and a punch to the heart. 🙁

*hugs*

Post # 9
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Perhaps she is going through something in regards to that high school pregnancy and abortion for her to snap at you like that. Other than that, I don’t really know what could be bothering her.

Anyway, I just want to say that it is okay to grieve. You are not whining, and I’m sorry about what you’re going through. Also, please don’t feel like a failure, because you did really try.

Post # 10
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@MrsA1123:  It brings such a smile to my face to see that he is so supportive and calms you over this. I know it is hard and scary, but you will be able to still raise children together even if they aren’t blood related….they will still call you mommy and daddy and they will love you like they were yours from the moment they were concieved.

Post # 11
Member
989 posts
Busy bee

@MrsA1123:  Uh, what she said was downright bitchy and hurtful. What is this ‘I don’t feel sorry for you’ BS?

I am so sorry you’re going through this, I can’t imagine how hard it is for you. You’re not asking too much by reaching out for support. Your friend has absolutely no tact whatsoever, even if she doesn’t quite know the right things to say, what she did say definitely qualifies as WRONG. 

Hugs to you.

Post # 12
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I just read the update with your friend’s quote. ACK. She sounds like she is under some kind of duress. But that is just…I’m not sure how I’d ever respond to that. I’m really sorry. No wonder you are feeling sad. 🙁

Post # 14
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@MrsA1123:  Her response was way out of line if that was a direct quote. Does she have any children? If not maybe she has found out that she cannot have any and unfortunately lashed out at you due to the fact that you already have children.

Anyway she should never have acted like that but if it is out of character for her maybe you should call her no matter the difficulty with the time difference and let her know that you are concerned because it was out of character.

Post # 15
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have found that with age some people become very self centered and have forgotten how to be a true friend. They forget that a milestone in life is something to celebrate and that a loss in life is something to grieve. If you are on FB there is this amazing cartoon that shows te true meaning of empathy vs sympathy. It really outlines how you may feel at the moment. Sorry to hear that your friend is unsupportive 🙁 hugs 

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