NWR: Article about the sexual fetishisation of Asian women

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

What I found really disturbing was the tumblr post that the article linked to of messages Asian women on dating sites had gotten. “I’m white, you’re Asian, you should be head over heels in love with me.” What the hell? Reading those posts made me sick to my stomach. 

Post # 5
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@lauraashley09:  Where do you meet the white men you know?  I’ve met a few like that, but most men I know (white or otherwise) tend to love one woman based on both personality and looks, and not ‘asian women’.  I’ve never even heard the term yellow fever in this context.

When I do hear comments, they are more often inappropriate jokes because of the stereotype, but don’t have personal meaning behind them.  Not always, but most of the time.

Post # 6
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Creepiest comment any guy can make at a bar is: “I like Asian women.”

Guranteed after hearing comments like that, I will hide in the women’s washroom for a good 5 minutes, at least, before I duck out and hope to not run into the same guy again.

I’m also in an interracial relationship. We fell in love because of mutual interests in music; he plays the guitar while I play/was teaching piano.

Post # 7
Member
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

those kind of men (that proclaim they like asian women) made me REALLY hesitant to date outside my race. it’s like, I don’t even feel special, you’d just like any asian woman for being asian! pffft

Post # 8
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@AB Bride:  

@lauraashley09:  To put my above comment back into context since you deleted yours well after I replied I’ll quote it

 I don’t have anything insightful to add other than I believe that yellow fever is alive and kicking in 99.999999% of men.

 

I don’t think I’ve ever met a white male who was not in love with asian women. I don’t even think that it has to be an attractive asian women. Just the fact that they are asian is enough for these men (who might I add, are usually overweight and greying.)

:

 

 

Post # 9
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

In my life I have met men like this…

Guys who are looking for a beautiful more submissive woman than North American women.

These Men look to Asia, Indo-China, and the Caribbean… and oftentimes to poorer countries than here a home.

Some of these men fit the “Mail Order Bride” male… Older and not that socially savvy, maybe even a bit “odd”

Others surprisingly are well educated and even rich…

But what they are all looking for is an “old fashioned” woman who for lack of a better term will be subserviant to them.

As more “modern” woman that disturbs me.

I even knew a guy my own age (in my 40s) who went to Asia for work and met such a woman who was much younger (in her 20s) and was head over heels in love (lol, well within reason… he also hit on me at a party while they were Engaged… ya he was a real winner)

Anyhow, I heard they got married.  And she eventually came to Canada.

She was a bright girl and had a career.  She got a decent job here.  But he fed her head thru of lies… and drama inducing thoughts about others in his circle… no doubt so she’d not want to socialize with them or ask too many Questions (learn too much about him)

It was a classic case of where he was working to be HER HERO… and isolate her.

Pretty sad.  And a lot of RED FLAGS there for me a survivor of an abusive relationship.

I once in awhile wonder what happened to the two of them… and if she’s still with him, and if he has remained faithful, or if he is busily cheating on her.

The other guy was someone I worked with.  He was much older (in his 60s).  He had a woman that he was dating in the Caribbean.  She too was much younger than him (maybe 30).

He had her all set up in a condo in this Destination Country… where he’d go visit her a few times a year for a few weeks at a time.  He was obviously leading her on IMO.. in that they had been dating for years… and he clearly had no intention of marrying her, altho that is what he told her… he’d marry her, and bring her to Canada.

He seemed to enjoy being not married, and having his freedom.  And then long “sexy” visits to see her.

Infact he was another sort of scummy guy… he was not above discussing his sex life with others and saying that this woman was incredible to him cause she’d do things that Canadian woman wouldn’t do for him… and he didn’t have to worry about her faithfulness cause she loved him so.

It was a case of another guy being disgusting in my mind and USING a woman.  I do believe he also had no qualms on cheating on her when he was here in Canada (that is if he could actually find someone here willing to be with him… he wasn’t ALL THAT altho he certainly thought he was.  He did have money tho… so that probably made him attractive to some)

— — —

For the record, I have no problems with Inter-racial Couples… they are pretty common in Canada as we are very much a multicultural country.

What I do have a problem with is MEN USING WOMEN

It is bad when I see it happening here in North America… but IMO much worse when it happens abroad and INTENTIONALLY done so, so a man can get what he wants out the relationship but use his own Citizenship as a bargaining chip.

Sometimes women are used or abused in that process… and that is wrong !!

 

Post # 10
Member
4395 posts
Honey bee

@AB Bride:  +1. 

Fwiw, my DH is neither overweight nor greying . And I’m pretty sure he couldn’t care less what race I happened to be. Are there creepy guys who like Asian women? Sure, but there are creepy guys who like blondes, college girls, short women, women with accents… Whatever. 

Post # 11
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Yellow fever? HAH! Dear Lord, I almost spat my tea at the computer screen.

Hm, I don’t think most people realize the cultural challenges a couple has to overcome in interracial relationships. My FI definitely did not have Yellow Fever when he met me. He claimed he knew some Chinese. I was like, alright, let’s hear it! “Kung Pao Chicken!” he said. *Mental Face-palm*

Likewise, I’ve heard inappropriate comments about diluting the white race — blah blah blah. There are going to be a lot of people who are ignorant; the way we choose to deal with them is within our control.

Agreed with @AB Bride:  on the personality thing.

Funny enough, I’ve had this conversation a while ago with my FI. He said that the porn industry is to blame — which made sense why comments like “I like Asian women” ALWAYS gave me the creeps.

Post # 12
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Cynderbug:  I think you’re on to something with the porn industry.

As a caucasin woman I’ve never personally dealt with ‘yellow fever’ from men, but in highschool I did have a grilfriend who was kind of obsessed with asian guys, she wanted to have ‘cute little asian babies’…yeah. Even back then, as socially clueless as I was, that weirded me out. I just wanted to note that it isn’t just men who get yellow fever, women do too and it’s just as bad.

Post # 13
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Yeah, I think that’s where many of the jokes originate from or are based on – porn.

Post # 14
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

One of the worst bar outings I’ve ever been on was with two girlfriends, who are white, on vacation. It was a small bar that wasn’t very full, and this one guy kept staring. Naturally, I thought he was after my one friend who is honest to goodness just beautiful. He finally comes over and zeroed in on…me. With a super creepy grin, he proceeds to tell me how much he loves Asian women, that we’re so sexy and exotic, etc. My, admittedly trashed, friends thought it was all so hilarious, but I was really uncomfortable. He talked to me for like 20min until I threatened to go back to my hotel room, at which point my friends finally saved me. Ick ick ick.

The worst “compliment” I’ve ever heard from a guy was “I bet your place is really clean.” Um, what? “Well, it’s just such a part of your culture.” EXCUSE ME? Some of the people around us heard him and basically shamed him out of the house (party). 

Post # 15
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

I was talking about this documentary with my friend, both of us spent several years living in an area with a large Asian population and pervasive Asian culture, and our thoughts are that men who fetishize Asian American women as being domestic and subservient have not spent much time around Asian American women.

Post # 16
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve met creepers like this.  Since I’m white and DH is Japanese, I guess they feel like I’m one of them and they can dehumanize other people around me.  Right after DH and I started dating, a guy from my college Japanese classes sent me a Facebook message saying “Congratulations on acquiring a Japanese boyfriend.  I need to acquire a Japanese girlfriend.”  After he graduated, he moved to China to teach English and started posting Facebook statuses wondering which of his students he should date after they graduated (I’m not sure if he taught high school or college aged students, but creepy either way).

More recently, a white guy from work, who is married to a Japanese woman, noticed that I like a lot of British books and TV shows.  He asked why I didn’t marry a British guy since I liked British things.

And since someone else mentioned that girls with yellow fever exist too, there was a girl a while back who told me she was Asian by penetration since she was with an Asian guy.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors