- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I’ve been having some trouble with my best friend and I need to vent! And maybe help/advice!
I’ve known her for about 10 years, we went to grade 7-12 together and university together.
Until about 4 months ago, I used to see her AT LEAST once a week for coffee and dinner, and we would talk pretty much every day. For the past 4 months, I’ve seen her MAYBE once a month, and we only talk when I text her, sometimes every 2 weeks, or even every 4 weeks.
What has changed? Nothing. Well, I quit my job (not working with her or anything), so I’ve had even more free time and would love to see her. But absolutely nothing has changed with us. No fights or anything. And when I do see her or talk to her, she’s happy, and she seems totally fine (not like she’s mad at me or anything), she just says she’s really busy all the time.
Lately, she’s always saying she can’t do things because she either has no time, or no money, or both. I don’t want to sound insensitive, and I do understand this (and I do offer to do free or very cheap things)
I feel like the situation she’s in is due to her bad choices and it frustrates me! Her SO and her recently bought a place that was a really bad investment (sorry if this sounds like I’m judging – but investments are my field of work so I feel like I know), and it’s more than they can really afford. But that’s not the only problem. Then her SO quit his job and opened his own business (think lots of costs for setting up the business, and little income because it’s a new business). So now she’s staying in IMO a crappy job that is not using her degree, doing long hours, and she has no holidays, no stat holidays and no benefits because she chose to be a contractor. So she’s always tired.
Then the money problems (which again seem like bad choices to me). It’s like they spend money on silly things like the 2 year old (bought new) BMW M series in their garage that they NEVER drive – literally less than 2,000 km on it, but then they still haven’t paid her university tuition from 2 years ago, so she technically hasn’t received her degree, and she couldn’t attend convocation, even though she took out a student loan (ie to pay for the tuition).
I’m so frustrated and I have no idea what to do. Her SO is a good guy, and I really don’t feel that he’s putting her in this position, she’s just making all the wrong choices and it sucks!
Also, I mentioned quitting my job 4 months ago (I have since found a new job), so my SO and I have made cutbacks (like we’re not trying to do very expensive things with her) but we still have enough money to do everything we want and go away on trips and stuff. So then when I do talk to her and she asks me what’s up, it always sounds like bragging (she doesn’t say that, I just feel like it).
What do I do? Any advice? Similar situations? Anything helpful!? Thanks!