NWR: BIL and his girlfriend staying Thanksgiving week with us.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
976 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand why you’re anxious – a week is  a long visit. BUT – 1) don’t worry about food. They are grown ups and can fend for themselves, and every vegetarian I know is super good about sorting out their own meals. Maybe buy a frozen pack of boca burgers for her, but don’t put yourself out. 2) this seems like a great opportunity to get to know your BIL and his GF better. And if they are serious enough to be spending holidays together, she may well be your DH’s SIL some time soon.

Post # 4
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@mrstea83:  I think that as far as food as concerned, why not simply ask your DH for BIL’s GF’s # and either text or call?

I would text:  Hi!  It’s Mrstea83 🙂  I heard that you two are coming over for Thanksgiving and I wanted to have your favorite Thanksgiving dish on the menu.   What is your preference?

____________________________-

I think this is a great way to break the ice and perhaps you can ease some of your social anxiety by texting a bit first so that the two of you are familiar with the eachother and she can see that you care about her.  This way when she shows up, you can say something like ‘I’m so glad you responded to my texts’ or ‘It’s nice to have talked to you a bit more since the last time we met’.

I really love having my own space so I get it.  Perhaps your BIL and his GF want to explore the city and not be up under you the entire time.  OR, have plans in place (or fake plans), so that you can give yourself some ‘breathing’ room if you have too.  Even just running errands!

I know it’s your first Thanksgiving married, I get it…but….Given the choice between staying with PARENTS or staying with other young people who we can at least drink and not be so stiff around (this goes for either my SO’s brothers/SIL’s or my brother), I think I’d simply prefer to be around people my own age.

Also…if you BIL is bringing his GF around family for the holidays…he likely feels serious about her so you might as well get to know her because what if he marries her? 

Good Luck!

Post # 5
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mrstea83:  I would make one or two simple meals, such as spaghetti/pasta or a vegetarian lasagna, and make a spinach salad and garlic bread to go with that. No meat needed! I’d also fill the fridge and pantry with some veggie-friendly snacks (fresh fruit and vegetables, pita chips and hummus, cheese and crackers.) But I tend to overfeed my guests so don’t feel obligated! I am sure they will appreciate anything you do. 🙂 

 

Post # 6
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mrstea83:  also, as far as staying relaxed – while they are over, schedule in some me-time. Book a mani-pedi for  yourself, have a long, leisurely session at the gym, meet a friend for a drink, or just announce you’re crashing early and curl up in your bed with a book and a glass of wine. You’re not expected to entertain them the entire time they are over! They are grownups and they have each other.

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