NWR Christmas with parents or FI?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m an only child, so I understand the expectation to spend lots of quality time with the parents. However, my dad also subscribes to the philosophy that your first priority should be to your nuclear family unit, especially during the holidays. People shouldn’t make themselves so crazy with trying to see every single family member that they cease to enjoy the holiday.

I would say do what makes you happy. By all means, I would say spend the holidays with your FI and his daughter. You are part of a social unit, and no one should begrudge you that important family time. Also, if you don’t have any paid time off yet, that’s a perfectly good excuse not to travel.

Post # 4
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Could you invite your parents to spend the holidays with you and your FI?

Post # 6
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

mandipandi:  In that case, I would say definitely stay with your FI. You want to do that anyway and if you don’t have time off, that’s a perfect way to tell your parents without offending them by saying you didn’t “choose them”

Post # 7
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

mandipandi:  I’ve recently gone through a similar issue… (or am going through that).

I moved away from home (Minnesota) 6 years ago, and always made it a point to go home twice a year – once in the summer and once during the holidays.  I’ve been with my SO and his son for almost two years now.  

When I went home last Christmas, my future stepson took it really hard.  So this year, my family came to visit me in the summer, and I told them that I was staying in Pittsburgh for the holidays. It’s actually worked out well, because now my sister wants to spend the holidays with me (since my parents divorcing two years ago has made the holidays strange anyways).  We’re all (SO and stepson) going to Minnesota in August next year to visit.

My parents understand completely, and it’s actually given them more of an opportunity to visit me.

Post # 8
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

mandipandi:  Have Christmas at your house this year, next year if your parents offer you can think about taking your FI and his daughter. It is a hard situation because everyone wants to see their family during the holidays, but you have a FI so you have to make changes to your holiday schedule. My FI and I alternate Christmases. Last year we spent it with his parents out of state and this year we’ll celebrate at our house in the morning and celebrate with my parents (who live 45 mins or so away) in the afternoon. Next year though is my FI’s parents year and because of the wedding and time off we probably will just invite them to come to us since we won’t be able to fly again. Compromise and understanding is key!

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