Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor and I have been best friends since we met each other 7 years ago. We’ve been through a lot together and it makes me a little sad to write this post.
Some back story. My best friend, A, had an unplanned pregnancy in 2008. She sort of lost her idenity at that point and wasn’t A anymore, just N’s mom. She never left N with anyone so she could go out and have adult time and her husband never would keep him so she was always at home. Several months ago she and her husband split up. She filed for divorce and within several weeks was telling me about a new guy she was seeing. She asked me if she was wrong and I told her it’s her life, she’s an adult, she can do what she wants. I thought it was a little soon, but whatever. Last weekend she asked me if I wanted to meet the guy and curosity got the best of me so I agreed. We met up at her place, I said hello to the guy and they proceeded to sit down on the couch next to me and suck face, nibble on ears, sucking neck and esentially dry humping each other. I’ve never been a fan of PDA and I explained to her after he left that their actions made me uncomfortable. She apologized and explained that they just had “great chemistry like that” and said she wouldn’t get so carried away next time. Since then, the last four times we’ve made plans, she’s invited him without asking me (which is completely out of character for her) and they’ve been doing the exact same thing every time. They don’t seem to care that they are in public places like resturaunts and stores. I have heard entirely too much of what they are going to do to each other later over a nice dinner at Olive Garden. It’s disgusting.
I’ve tried talking to her about it, but the excessive PDA isn’t the only things that’s changed. She never answers her phone for me anymore because she says she’s waiting on this guy is going to call her, but when I don’t answer the phone for her, she gets irritated with me. She recently told me that he is also fresh out of a relationship and has a 7 week old daughter. She’s also smoking a ridiculous amount of weed.
I’m guessing this is a rebound for both of them, but they are adults, so my opinion doesn’t really matter, but I’d like my friend back. She’s acting like a horny high schooler instead of the level headed person she used to be.
I don’t know how to talk to her anymore. I’ve tried talking to her about how the PDA makes me uncomfortable, how she’s not acting like herself anymore and how I haven’t been able to spend any time with her since this guy game in the picture. I’ve also told her I’m not ok with her just inviting this guy to my house or on our outings so I can watch them make out.
I’m honestly more concerned about her than anything because this doesn’t really seem like healthy behavior.
I’m sorry for the long post, I just needed someone to talk to about it. I’ve talked FH’s ears off and I don’t really have any other friends that I can talk to.
Post # 3
I’m sorry 🙁 I would explain to her that your feelings are hurt because you feel like a third wheel on their dates and that you would love to spend time with her and her new guy, but in situations where you don’t feel like a third wheel (double dates?) and would also like to spend time with just her.
Hopefully, her horomones wear off soon and she comes back to earth. Unfortunately, when people get into new relationships sometimes they end up in their own little world and they lose their damn minds. It’s not healthy, but it’s hopefully temporary. Feel free to vent! PM me if you need to.
Post # 4
Wow, that sounds tough. While reading your post I got the feeling that when she became a mother/wife, she lost herself and was catering to the needs of her hsband and child. This may have made her feel like she was living in isolation, a prison of sorts (I had similar feelings while with my child’s father). Now that she is divored, it seems that she has begun acting out, maybe trying to find herself again. This behavior she is exhibiting that is out of her norm may just be her searchig for happiness.
I give you props for telling her that her behavior os making you uncomfortable. I can tell you hold her near to your heart, and I encourage you to not give up. Ask her to see you alone….just for girl talk. Be open again and tell her that you are concerned about her. She may not take you seriously, she may try to push you away, or she may take you seriously and tink about her actions. I hope this all works out and I am glad your friend has a friend like you to care about her.
Post # 5
I think that these are one of those situations in which you have to give her her space, and if you feel so compelled, help her pick up the pieces when this crashes and burns.
Post # 6
That really sucks to have to deal with their pda’s. I tend to think this is just a fun rebound for her, maybe even just her way of dealing with now being a divorced single mother.
This relationship most likely won’t last too long, so try to just cut her some slack and maybe limit your outings until the rebound blows over or calms down.
Post # 7
I’m sorry I let this thread die.
@glittermoon: It’s gotten to the point where she will invite me out and say that it’ll be just us, but the guy always ends up showing up at some point. Despite me telling her that I’m really uncomfortable with the way they act with each other, not much has changed in the that area. She says that she’s talked to him about it but she doesn’t seem to mind any of it.
@LovelyLaura: I can understand why she’s doing what she’s doing, but not the way she’s going about it. I could be happier for her for being with someone she likes if they acted like adults and she didn’t continue to tell me things about this guy. She said that he can’t read, that he’s told the mother of his child who she is and he’s been telling her he loves her from day one. She says that she’s told him mulitple times she doesn’t want anything serious because she isn’t even divorced yet, but he continues to tell her that he loves her. While I thought the guy was nice to begin with, now I’m starting to be a bit more wary of him. I’ve discussed these concerns with her but she seems to think that he’ll figure it out. It’s obvious that he thinks they are more serious than she does. And I don’t want her to get hurt again so soon after all of the drama involving her soon to be ex husband.
@MissHobbit: Because of everything that’s happened lately, that’s what I think. I think this is more than likely going to end badly and while I hate it for her, there’s nothing I can do. I was there for her when she and her husband split up, and I will be there for her if this goes the same way.
@drummerbride: Since I originally wrote this post, I have only seen her twice and spoken to her a handful of times. I know she’s going to do things the way she wants to do things but I am hopeful that we will be able to spend time together like we used to, sans boyfriend.