NWR Did you plan or go with the flow?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What fits you?
    Planned and very happy : (3 votes)
    33 %
    Planned and could be happier : (2 votes)
    22 %
    Didn't plan and very happy : (3 votes)
    33 %
    Didn't plan and could be happier : (1 votes)
    11 %
    Other :) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    13005 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I had a rough plan growing up.  I knew I’d go to college, I was pretty sure I’d have no problem getting a job in my field (whether I like it or not is another question though, but it pays well and I can’t think of anything else I’d actually rather do.)  I had plans to get married and buy a house at some point.  It didn’t turned out quite as I envisioned since I broke up with my x after 6-7 years together.  But I did meet my now husband and we did get married and buy a house and TTC now.  So there was some kind of vision, it was somewhat fullfilled though not as I had imagined it when I finished school but i’m definitely happy with where we are, aside from the TTC issues, which you can’t do squat about no matter how much you plan for that.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2516 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think most people have an idea of vision of how they would like their life to go. However the saying holds true ” We make plans and God laughs”

    Sometimes you have to ‘go with the flow’ simply because we have very little control of what can happen to us. Also, people ( and ideas, goals ect) change as we get older. What I want in life NOW vs what I wanted in life 8 years ago is very different (Freshman in college vs 4 years out). If I stuck with my ‘plan’ then I don’t think I would be happy.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1209 posts
    Bumble bee

    Hmm… I had a plan: UNI and then teacher’s college, 2 kids before 30 and DH would have been a cop…  And then DH woke up and decided he didn’t want to be married anymore.

    I’ve tried to make a new plan but I’m too concerned about these plans not working out again that I just go with the flow for the most part. SO and I have plans for next year with regards to Us and children, but I try not to get too set on the actual logistics of it all.

    Post # 5
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee

    This is a great topic! I have been a big planner, or at least tried to most of my life. Now, since meeeting my fiancee I’ve grown a lot into going with the flow. That’s what he does and my attempts to plan fail since he goes with the flow. It was causing such strain on me, not him, since i would plan everything from meals during the week, to financial situations, to everything. Then things wouldn’t go to plan and I would be angry, stress out, have resentment toward him, everything was fine when things would change, I would just react that way. I have learned to accept him how he is and accept that I have to let go of planning so much since it only hurts me in the end.

    I would have loved to met someone while I was in college and create this grand plan for our lives but that just wasn’t me. I couldn’t have loved someone at that time in my life and I knew I wanted to travel and work with out attachments for awhile. I am glad I did that. I do wish I had chosen a career that was more financially stable, my degree is in theater, and one that had more opportunities. I am burnt out on my  career at this point and have no saving, back up and plenty of debt.

    I am happy with the choices I made as they make up who I am today. I do worry plenty about the future, though I am glad I met my fiancee and he has helped me to see and deal with the world differently. I am in a phase of acceptance, accepting myself for who I am, my fiancee for who he is, and accepting that no matter how much I want to plan the future, it won’t work out that way so why bother? Just accept what life brings at you and I’m ecstatic I have a great man to help me navigate the future. It has taken me a long time to get to this point and I am envious of those that have a plan and have that plan work out so well for them. I simply lack dedication, motivation, and discipline most of the time to stick to any plan. Crazy, right?

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    9529 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I picked “Didn’t plan and very happy”. But it all comes down to what you mean by “plan”. Also, there are some things in life that you can plan, and some that you can’t. For instance, you can’t “plan” when to fall in love and get married. And nobody “plans” for infertility or illness, but they happen. 

    Overall, I think it’s good to work towards goals but if you get too attached to your plans it can be hard when life somes up and those plans have to change.

    Strive for your goals. But realize that the path to get there may be different than you anticipated. 

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