Post # 1
I was talking to FMIL the other day about how happy I am right now because life is working out the way FI and I have always planned. Once we got to college we planned to go to school, get degrees, get good jobs that we enjoy, and then a year later move out and get married. We’ve just graduated and FI isn’t doing what he went to school for but loves his job and can make a good career out of it and still has the option to do what he went to school for if something ever happened to the current job. I just got my dream job and was lucky enough to get the pre curser to my second dream job. I’ve always wanted to teach and coach girls soccer. I’m teaching and am now the assistant coach for the boys soccer team. We got lucky with help but most of it was hard work and sticking to our plan.
Now to my point my FMIL mentioned something that kind of stuck with me. She said she would have probably gotten farther in life and would be happier right now if she tried to plan out her life instead of just going with everything. I’ve also found that most of the people around me are much happier when they made a plan and stuck to it and it’s the people who just let life take them where ever who are not happy.
My question for you is; do you plan out your life and are you/will you be happier in life because of it or did you just go with the flow and are you/will be happier because of it. Or the opposite, did you plan out your life and now you’re thinking that probably wasn’t the best plan for you and you wish you went with the flow or did you go with the flow and now think that if you just made a plan or two life would be better right now.
Now I know plans never go perfectly and sometime life steps in and screws it up but then you just have to make a new plan and move forward. I’ve always have been a planer and it has always worked very well for me but I’m wondering if you didn’t plan but life still worked out.
This isn’t a judgment on anyone or their life choices I just thought it would be cool to see how people got to where they are and if they would change it.
Post # 2
I had a rough plan growing up. I knew I’d go to college, I was pretty sure I’d have no problem getting a job in my field (whether I like it or not is another question though, but it pays well and I can’t think of anything else I’d actually rather do.) I had plans to get married and buy a house at some point. It didn’t turned out quite as I envisioned since I broke up with my x after 6-7 years together. But I did meet my now husband and we did get married and buy a house and TTC now. So there was some kind of vision, it was somewhat fullfilled though not as I had imagined it when I finished school but i’m definitely happy with where we are, aside from the TTC issues, which you can’t do squat about no matter how much you plan for that.
Post # 3
I think most people have an idea of vision of how they would like their life to go. However the saying holds true ” We make plans and God laughs”
Sometimes you have to ‘go with the flow’ simply because we have very little control of what can happen to us. Also, people ( and ideas, goals ect) change as we get older. What I want in life NOW vs what I wanted in life 8 years ago is very different (Freshman in college vs 4 years out). If I stuck with my ‘plan’ then I don’t think I would be happy.
Post # 4
Hmm… I had a plan: UNI and then teacher’s college, 2 kids before 30 and DH would have been a cop… And then DH woke up and decided he didn’t want to be married anymore.
I’ve tried to make a new plan but I’m too concerned about these plans not working out again that I just go with the flow for the most part. SO and I have plans for next year with regards to Us and children, but I try not to get too set on the actual logistics of it all.
Post # 5
This is a great topic! I have been a big planner, or at least tried to most of my life. Now, since meeeting my fiancee I’ve grown a lot into going with the flow. That’s what he does and my attempts to plan fail since he goes with the flow. It was causing such strain on me, not him, since i would plan everything from meals during the week, to financial situations, to everything. Then things wouldn’t go to plan and I would be angry, stress out, have resentment toward him, everything was fine when things would change, I would just react that way. I have learned to accept him how he is and accept that I have to let go of planning so much since it only hurts me in the end.
I would have loved to met someone while I was in college and create this grand plan for our lives but that just wasn’t me. I couldn’t have loved someone at that time in my life and I knew I wanted to travel and work with out attachments for awhile. I am glad I did that. I do wish I had chosen a career that was more financially stable, my degree is in theater, and one that had more opportunities. I am burnt out on my career at this point and have no saving, back up and plenty of debt.
I am happy with the choices I made as they make up who I am today. I do worry plenty about the future, though I am glad I met my fiancee and he has helped me to see and deal with the world differently. I am in a phase of acceptance, accepting myself for who I am, my fiancee for who he is, and accepting that no matter how much I want to plan the future, it won’t work out that way so why bother? Just accept what life brings at you and I’m ecstatic I have a great man to help me navigate the future. It has taken me a long time to get to this point and I am envious of those that have a plan and have that plan work out so well for them. I simply lack dedication, motivation, and discipline most of the time to stick to any plan. Crazy, right?
Post # 6
I picked “Didn’t plan and very happy”. But it all comes down to what you mean by “plan”. Also, there are some things in life that you can plan, and some that you can’t. For instance, you can’t “plan” when to fall in love and get married. And nobody “plans” for infertility or illness, but they happen.
Overall, I think it’s good to work towards goals but if you get too attached to your plans it can be hard when life somes up and those plans have to change.
Strive for your goals. But realize that the path to get there may be different than you anticipated.
Post # 7
frywedding2015: Yeah FI is really go with the flow kind of guy too. He’s really taught me that it is ok to plan but it is also ok to go with the flow when the plan doesn’t work out or changes. I still make plans constantly but I handle it with grace (most of the time) when they don’t work out. I’m firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that even though I have a plan, God has a plan for me too. I’m just glad that our major plans have been the same until now 🙂 I think the thing that has helped us the most is we know what we want from life and are doing everything possible to get to that point without sacrafising our happiness right now. Life will always change but I’m pretty happy with how we’ve handled everything so far.
Post # 8
JenGirl: Very true!! I think that I just got lucky to fall in love early enough so we could make our plans together. Luck has really helped me get to where I am now and but like I said I really work hard to meet my goals. Which is kind of what I think planning is, make a goal and then figure out how to get there. I am attached to my plans but I’m always willing to change them if something big comes along. Like at this moment FI and I are thinking of changing our plans becuase we may have found a great opprotunity to buy a condo for really cheap, it’ll mean changing a lot of plans (which stings a bit) but it’s a great opprotunity if it works out!