(Closed) NWR – Do you find this rude?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Eh, it’s rude.  I’d just say something like, “We’d love to have you guys over, but we really wanted to relax with a few beers tonight, do you think you can take the bus/train/whatever?”  Or I’d blame it on the budget, saying you love to see them, but your gas budget just can’t accomodate the extra money.

Post # 4
Member
1841 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

they are taking advantage of your generosity and being rude. Tell them they’ll need to take the train/whatevwe next time, or don’t come. 

Post # 5
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@MrsPanda99:  I think you should definitely say something before it comes out the wrong way. I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it since they’re your friends and  you don’t want it to be awkward, but I think what @stuckinwonderland suggested is a good idea. Just ask if they mind taking public transportation since it’s quite a bit of driving for you or because you want to be able to have a few drinks yourself.

Post # 6
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

That’s rude!!!! I whole heartedly agree with pps.

Post # 7
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have a friend who is unable to drive and, yes, it sometimes does annoy me that we either have to make plans at hers or I might have to drop her off or pick her up or both. 

 

I would suggest that next time it is dime to hang out up your way then say to them that you are  unable to pick them up (for whatever reason) but can take them home. Offer to do it one way, that way you are still helping them out but encouraging them to not be so dependent on you. I’m sure they are able to get around in their daily lives without you!

Post # 8
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

Say something…Ive been in the position where Ive been really annoyed about something and havent said anything,after a while it makes u really spiteful and its not a good position to be in

Post # 9
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Maybe just stoop taking turns and just go to their place all the time. Or offer to meet them half way so that they’ll have to take public transportation. 

Post # 11
Member
2575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@stuckinwonderland:  +1

@MrsPanda99:  I really like how stuckinwonderland above worded it. It sounds very diplomatic – “Hey – I want us to all have a good time so would you mind taking subway/train/bus over here?” If they have an issue with that, you will have to think about whether they see you as friends worth making the effort on their part to hang out with or just a free ride with a bonus designated driver/chauffeur. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
2575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MrsPanda99:  Oh, that’s odd! In that case, they really should have no problem taking public transport to and from your place. Yes, definitely speak up – I could give them the benefit of the doubt and say maybe they don’t realize it’s a big deal for you, but that won’t invalidate your feelings about it. Talk to them and update us on how it goes.

Post # 14
Member
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

That is just nuts…who on earth acts like that?  Screw them, next time let them find their own way to you… and be honest if they ask why you can’t pick them up.  People have some nerve.

Post # 15
Member
5015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow, yes that is rude!!! I could understand once in a while but on a regular basis?! They aren’t teenagers! If they choose to not have a car, they need to deal with it themselves. 

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