NWR – Does it seem like our generation is too coddled?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

For a large part, yes. We were spoon fed

Post # 3
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

it isn’t called the Me Generation for no reason. 

But I think a lot has to do with upbringing as well.  How did the parents of these children raise them?   

And I am generalizing.

Because my brother and I were raised by the same parents and though we were raised comfortably never wanting for anything, I worked hard while my brother expects everything to be handed to him. (but we are both just a little too old to be in the Me Generation)

 

Post # 4
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

ButterflyButterfly:  I would have to agree with this vent. I’m only 23 but I’ve been working since I was 16 because I wanted to pay for my own things. I’m an outlier in this generation, and the sense of entitlement some people have is obnoxious. And like ajillity81 I have a 21 year old brother who expects much more than I do/ever have from my parents. Gets tiresome, I agree. But think about how funny it is that they expect so much at such a young age. I will hate to see what happens when some of these people are parents. 

Post # 5
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

ajillity81:  Same here. My older sister and I are both hard workers, while my brother expects everything to be handed to him and still plays victim at 26 years old.

Post # 6
Member
6505 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s true of our entire generation. In my department almost everyone is 26 or under and none of them display the type of behavior you wrote about. Actually, the only two guys I can think of that seem to have this mindset are in their 40s.

Unfortunately, older generations do seem to focus on the ones who are slackers. I had an old guy sit down next to me at an auto shop last week while I was reading a book on my tablet and proceed to berate me for “always needing electronics” and telling me about how “my generation is doomed.”

Post # 7
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

FI, FSIL, Brother, and I all grew up somewhat fortunate. We’re not filthy rich, but we’ve had nice gifts on holidays, family vacations, nice suburban homes. FSIL is both the youngest and most ambitious, lol. She is a bit used to being spoiled, but she works very hard and has a good head on her shoulders. She’ll be graduating with honors and just started a paid internship with a nationally known company. Brother, on the other hand, has never been very motivated. He barely finished high school and spent years in commuity college without graduating because he didn’t care about school. He’s worked the same job pretty much since high school, although he quit once to do nothing. FI and I are in between (in age and motivation). We like our down time, but are good employees. We want a comortable life and are willing to work for it, but wouldn’t be called go-getters. We’re much more relaxed and content with a 9-5 job.

Post # 8
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

ButterflyButterfly:  I think there is efinately an attitude of entitlement with the younger generation. I have to hear about it constantly from my 17 year old daughter. Her friends parents just bought them XY and Z, and I somehow owe her these things as well. The latest has been that I need to buy her a car, because this is something that all parents do for their kids. Uhm, no. I would never have dreamed of DEMANDING  a car from my Mother. I do plan on getting her one, but it is going to be a graduation gift. She has also been told that if she is going to be particular about what she gets, she can match me the cost. She has been working at McDonald’s for the last year, and it has been an eye opening experience for her. 

One thing my kid throws at me is “You never just hand me anything! Everything I have I’ve had to earn!” This is supposed to meant as guilt trip. I just smile, knowing that in 10 years, she is going to appreciate the fact that she learned how to provide for herself.

Post # 9
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

Of my close friends, none of us really exhibit that mentality.  We’re all pretty hardworking independent people.  I’m totally willing to admit that we may be outliers in this.

My company just hired a new person who is the exact same age as me (27).  The more I work with him, the more I wonder how he has made it through his adult life so far.  Always expecting things to be handed to him, doesn’t really grasp the idea of having to put in effort to get things done.  A few weeks ago, his parents were on vacation (he lives with his parents) and he got into a fender bender with their car and scratched the bumper.  His immediate reaction was to call me (because he knows that I am handy and have experience working on cars) to ask if i can fix the scratch before his parents came back.  He wanted to make it so that they wouldn’t find out about it, because he didn’t want to have to pay.  Seriously?!  This sounds like something I might have done in high school, not as an adult.  And yet, he still doesn’t understand why I thought that idea was so dumb.  So yeah, examples like that make me think that our generation could be a little entitled.

Post # 10
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I do agree that the younger members of the millennial generation  (those in their early and mid-20’s) are too coddled.  Some older ones are coddled as well, but I don’t think it’s quite the epidemic as it is with the younger ones.  Helicopter parents became a thing around 2000 so I think it’s pretty clear that this is true.    The problem is their parents tried to give them everything, but forgot that everything included the value of hard work and how to handle failure and disappointment.  

Now, it is great that parents want to provide their children with the best lives they can, but when everything is handed to you, you, more often than not, fail to appreciate and understand the value of things.  It’s great to be told you are special and can do anything, but if you never learn how to lose or deal with failure than life is going to be really, really, really hard for you.  It’s fine to be told you deserve the best in life but too many parents forgot the part about having to work for and earn the best.  You are not entiteld to the perfect job, apartment, car, whatever.  No one (besides your parents) is just going to hand you something.  You have to earn it.  Part of giving your child the best life is teaching them how to stand on their own and be the best person they can be WITHOUT you.

My mother drilled it into my head that my actions affect more than just me, they affect everyone around me.  I feel a lot of young people today don’t understand that.  They fail to see other people as other people with their own thoughts, problems, lives, etc.  They only see see other people as supporting characters in a story in which they are the protagonist.

I think the show GIRLS on HBO really exemplifies this.

ETA: I’m 28.  So I think the older memebers of the generation (27+) are a lot less coddled.  

Post # 11
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I fear for my SD.  Today, I was taking the kids to school and my middle school aged son said that he to work really hard in school and get good grades so he could earn a scholarship.  My 8 year old SD piped in that she didn’t have to work hard because her papaw had saved lots and lots of money for her college.  Sweet baby Jesus, help me.  The Me generation is continuing.

Post # 12
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think some are, some aren’t. My parents gave us what they could, but balanced that by making us work for it and learn the value of work. For example, they paid for college – but with a limit of 4 years and only if we kept our grades up. They were serious too – my sister’s grades fell lower than they should’ve one semester, and she had to pay for that semester herself (they did refund her though when she brought her grades back up).

I’ve been working since I was 12 (babysitting, then actual jobs). I’d rather be busy while at work than sit around, and I’m proud that DH and I are completely financially independent (and have been for quite a number of years now). 

I think it’s a mix of personality, parenting/role models, and social expections that leads to attitudes of responsibility or entitlement.

 

Post # 13
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

RunsWithBears:  The every kid get a trophy thing drives me nuts.  Oh, and my daughter “graduated” from pre-K, with a little cap and gown.  Really?  Earn a trophy through hard work.  It’s a great lesson that not every kid gets one and playing for the sake of playing is OK.

Post # 14
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Every generation thinks the generation after them sucks. Always have, always will. As to whether or not they actually suck, well, there’s no objective way of measuring that, so it’s pretty hard to say. Maybe our generation is more entitled than past generations, but we’re also MUCH more into accepting all people regardless of their sexual orientation, race, creed, disability, etc. So in that sense, we’re better.

I think the key is to just remember our inherent prejudice against everyone younger than us. Those assholes suck and they need to get off my lawn.

Post # 15
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

ButterflyButterfly: Omg Im going to rant on your rant thread lol

 this is definitely the case. I am 30 years old and I have worked since two weeks before I turned 16. I have always had a job, except for a year after I had my son. I went to college and I worried about things like insurance, retirement savings, credit scores, etc. My sister is 22 years old, unemployed, living at my moms house, didn’t go to college, has a newer car that my parents pay for, and basically lives with no responsibility. She has flip flopped between wanting to go to cosmetology school to wanting to be a nurse. She was a nanny for a while. there’s just no direction. She gets upset when my mom expects her to pull her weight at home or run around with our youngest sister who is 12.

When I was growing up I was almost completely responsible for my sister. I did homework with her, I walked her to and from school, I coached her cheerleading in grade school, I coached her soccer teams, softball teams, I did it all with her and I still did all my own stuff and managed to hold an after school job. Not to mention that I wasn’t forced to do any of this, I just did it because I knew what my parents expected of me as the older sibling. My parents made me pay my own car insurance if I wanted to drive their car (before I got my own, which I saved for with my own money I earned). They didn’t buy me “extras” like make up, or fancy clothes, anything I wanted I had to use my own money for. I had to pay for all my own gas money when I used their cars and my first car was a $2000 hunk of junk that I bought myself and maintained using my own money.

Compared to me, my sister is helpless and thinks she should be treated like an adult when she wants to live like a child. Not to mention she says things like “well why would I take that job? that’s not going to be worth my time. I should be making xyz.” ummmm why? you have no education or experience, you just want to walk in and be handed a dream job. I did eveyrthing from temping, to working early mornings at starbucks BEFORE going to a  full day of classes during college. I realized that a job was better than no job and I NEEDED one to make progress. I would take buses trains or walk to get where I needed to go. My sister called me the other and said “can you google map this for me and tell me which train will get me closest?” we live in chicago. It’s not hard to figure out public transportation. With minimal effort she could have done it. But her excuse was “well you’re good at that stuff. I’m not”. I made her do it herself. And guess what? she figured it out. it was for an interview…. and then she ended up skipping the interview because she realized she wouldn’t want to commute everday like that.

 

It’s incredibly frustrating. My mom is losing patience. I just don’t get it. How are we so different? and I had a baby young and struggled a lot. But I somehow managed to still come out doing better. I didn’t get anything handed to me by my parents, and she got everything. She should be golden and instead she’s just not even trying. I ask my mom all the time like why did you do things so differently with her than with me? and she just says “well you were a different person. You were a much more motivated kid and you just did things on your own. Your sister was never that way and I worried way more about her and still do”.

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