Weddingbee boards

This is going to be one of those FML kind of posts, if you're not into that or don't feel like hearing somebody else's troubles, please go ahead and click out now, and have a better day than me! :)

Let's just do a list real quick of why I am not too pleased with 2009:

January: Brand new husband gets job working at night as security guard in our city with one of the highest homicide rates in the nation. I stay alone in our ghetto-lite, freezing cold house every night, wishing I had a job. He works on my birthday, also our one month anniversary. No romantic encounters.

February: He works Valentine's Day, aka our 1 year engagement weekend. We at least have a nice meal at home. Late February, I finally get a job, yay! Our house is freezing and the electric bills are killing us.

March: Road trip with the SIL, good for making a relationship with her, bad for remembering my fertility info. Return from trip pregnant. Unknowingly drink a lot of beer on St. Patty's. MAJOR freakout when the pregnancy test and the rejection letter from the only grad school Mr. December applied to happen back-to-back days. Now I need a drink and can't have one.

April: Blessedly uneventful for us, minus growing disconnected from our church because we can only go in the evenings, stressing over choosing a doctor, etc. My best friend, due one month before me, miscarries at 10 weeks. My parent's pastor's wife miscarries twins at 5 months. Major self-induced guilt trip as I try to figure out how to now tell them I'm pregnant, unplanned.

May: I set the house on fire. No really. I fell asleep with a pot on the stove, wake up to find it all in a blaze. I get out and the damage is minimal, our landlord is understanding, but I am understandably shaken up. I go visit my parents at the end of the month and discover my brother has not stopped self-hurting or having verbally abusive outbursts towards my parents and other brother.

June: More doctor stress. Collections agency claiming to represent our landlord's insurance company begins harrassing us. Starting to make new plans to move to Florida to live with the in-laws. MIL mentions at family get together that she is having a CAT scan done because of some lymph node issues. Mr. December's best friend gets embroiled in bad girlfriend drama and reverts into immaturity, behaving like a jerk, and allowing himself to be emotionally abused by this slut in the name of being a good friend. Oh, and I should be her friend too because she doesn't have enough role models. Yeah, first thing on my mind when you've broken my friend's heart, spit on it, and ground it under your heel.

July: Collections agency drama continues, and another agency contacts us about bills they claimed Mr. December didn't pay in 2005! We send the fire collections people a cease-and-desist letter, as they will provide us no proof that they are actually associated with or acting on the behalf of the insurance company. They call back and say they don't have to obey the cease-and-desist demand (WTH?). Landlord is weird and ineffective, says he will do things and doesn't, forces my husband to stay up all day after 12 hours of work to mow the lawn because it must be done NOW. Lots of stress trying to make my own bridesmaids dress for a wedding I'm in August 1st, plus meeting some freelance writing assignments.

August: Collections drama continues. Landlord continues to be weird. MIL calls and says she has tumors in most of her lymph nodes. Freelance writing gig emails and says finish projects NOW. MIL calls and says she has rare, aggressive, non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Her doctor is an ineffective quack, her full diagnosis and prognosis is still delayed. SIL and BIL rush home to discover that other SIL and FIL are sitting around all day eating and isolating themselves. FIL is apparently drinking A LOT. They (FIL and young-SIL) are both overweight, completely sedentary, and basically shutting off. Mr. December and I are trying to figure out how to move down there ASAP, but we're not sure if we can get insurance coverage for the delivery of the baby (private won't cover, COBRA is wicked expensive, we're moving in with the ILs and not sure if that would disqualify us for government aid).

So yeah. I am freaking out right now. We just found out about my FIL's excessive drinking today. I just want to go, NOW, and give them all a good talking to. My MIL has been the backbone of that family for too long and they cannot disrespect her so much by falling apart like this and giving her more to worry about when she's scared she's not going to live to be 60. My husband is too tired to talk over this anymore (night job, remember) so that's why I'm pouring my heart out here. I don't know if anyone will read all of this or even want to respond but it helps to know that maybe someone listened, maybe someone heard me.

But you know what, my husband still rocks. I love him. Our marriage just keeps getting stronger. And my mom sent me an email yesterday saying she was proud of how much I've grown. So it's not all bad. And I have WB to listen to me. :)

LOL, Kate... trying not to snort-laugh at my desk. very unprofessional. Thank you everybody who's commented so far. sometimes I just need to let it all out of my head.

I am so sorry to hear about your really awful 2009. When life is this tough, there is always a small light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hoping your little baby is it! I'm so glad you have your wonderful husband and family there to support you...and they are proud of your strength and so are we!!!

I AM SOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!! But believe me I know the when do I get a break feeling.  For me I just have to TRUST the LORD and lean on him HEAVILY!!!  Life can really seem like it is burying you and it does sometimes.  But just keep your head high and do the best you can.  I am really truly sorry for all that you are going through.  I will say a prayer.  Prayers work:)  Just seems like no light at the end of the tunnel I know, there is but it may be a VERY long tunnel it sounds like.

Thank you so much, everyone. It is really humbling to know that so many of you took the time to sympathize with an internet stranger when you've certainly got your own problems to worry about too (Country, I KNOW you've had rough times, it means so much to me to have your sympathy when I know that my problems are a pretty small hill of beans next to other people's). I am starting to slowly realize that there's never going to be a kindly TV announcer voice from out of the blue saying, "And now back to the December's regularly scheduled life." Maybe my MIL is going to die "too soon", but now because of my unplanned pregnancy, she'll get to be a grandma before she goes. Maybe things will never really get better, but I'm starting to come to peace with the idea that nobody is guaranteed an easy life. I've been pretty immature for a long time with all of this, basically just throwing a low-level tantrum because didn't I DESERVE to be happy? /sigh. Ah, growing up. It's nice to know that I am not alone. Thank you all, so so much.

Everyone has their struggles and they can all be devistating to us in different ways.  I don't believe anyone has the "easy" way in life for the most part, because they are struggleing in some way or another.  Maybe you can't see it from the outside, but they feel it on the inside.   I do have a lot going against me but I have more going for me...>GOD and my fiance:)  That makes everything OK:)