Post # 1
So I work with this lurky, f-ing creep in my department. Little did I know this over a year ago when I accepted his friend request on facebook. Long story short, it turns out that I went to college with his girlfriend and not only that, SHE went to HS with my FI. So she friended him and me, too. Oh what a tangled web we weave…
Things got weird when he started walking into my office and saying stuff like, “How was that beer?” and I’m like, “HUH??” and he’s commenting on a picture of me from 6 months ago at an Octoberfest. Or says, “How was the movie?” when someone tags me at Clearview Theatre the night before. These are mere examples. Needless to say, I’d had enough.
Since then, I have removed and deleted both him and his girlfriend, blocked, and even changed my name so I can’t be searched. Things have been great since doing so, the creepiness was on a steady decline. I even went so far as to have my best friend delete and block me so I could see what it’s like from the blockee’s end if I tried to search for myself!!! ANYWAY…this brings us to current…
Thinking I’m now totally invisible to these people, he just said to me out of nowhere, “Did you get an award from the theatre or something?” THE ONLY WAY HE COULD HAVE KNOWN SUCH A THING WAS TO SEE A PHOTO OF THE AWARD WITH MY NAME ON FACEBOOK. My friend posted the pic and tagged me in it, but HOW DID HE SEE IT????? I’m livid/creeped out and thinking of deleting my account entirely because of this person which is SO unfair b/c I keep in touch with a lot of friends overseas on there.
I guess I’m just venting b/c this shit is BONKERS, but what would you do in this situation?? And no, I’m NOT overreacting!!
Post # 3
Report harassment to HR. Make it clear you are not friends and his behavior is unacceptable. As a last resort, delete FB
Post # 4
This is why I never friend people I work with.
Post # 6
Ew this is super creepy. I mean, at the very least he might be socially awkward and doesn’t know how to strike a convo or relate to people in a normal way. But that is no excuse, if you’re uncomfortable report it!
Post # 7
@BurlapnLace: Well… you are overreacting a little bit. When you accept friend requests and you post things about your life on social media, you are opening yourself up. It’s as if you’re saying you invited him to your house for a party and the next day he mentioned that the picture you had on your mantel was awesome. You invited him in, he saw the picture, you can’t get pissed he commented on it.
If your friend actualy tagged you in the picture of your award, then he shouldn’t see it. I have an ex-friend who blocked me and when our mutual friends post pictures I can’t see any that she’s tagged in. So my guess is that either she or someone else posted the picture WITHOUT your tag. Unfortunately, there’s no stopping him from seeing that if he’s friends with someone you’re friends with.
Yes, if this kind of thing creeps you out this much you should probably delete your facebook.
Post # 8
@BurlapnLace: Maybe someone else at work saw it and mentioned it to him? That sounds super creepy, I’m just hoping there’s a logical explanation! So bizarre that he’s so obsessed with you.
Post # 9
@mrs_pudding_pop: Exactly. No one I work with. No friends-of-friends. No random dude I met at a party once. If you are not my close friend or family, you are not on my Facebook. If I didn’t have a FB profile, I would still share all the same information with all the same people in some other way.
Post # 10
@MexiPino: But that’s just it, even if I deleted my page and a friend chooses to post a picture of me, I can’t stop them.
Here’s a for instance, I was behind someone at the store and he looked familiar, but I ignored it. Then I heard him talk about his kids and it hit me, he’s a husband of a friend and I only know that b.c I’ve seen his pic on facebook. But I wasn’t going to say hi b.c that is just weird. WEIRD!
“Oh hi, you don’t know me but I’ve seen your photo on the internet. How’s the baby?”
Yes, I agree in this day in age nothing is private esp if you’re on a site like facebook. But there’s a bit of tact and social grace that goes along with it.
Post # 11
@BurlapnLace: Oh yeah, I’m not saying he’s not creepy. He has serious social boundary issues! But unfortunately in this day and age there’s not much you can do about that. The thing is, if you’re not active on Facebook, people are less likely to put stuff about you on their pages. People think to share your things because they can tag you and they see you on their feeds all the time.
Alternately, you can let it be known that you’d rather not have your personal photos up on facebook (or at least that you want them tagged). My aunt has an account but really doesn’t like her photos being shared, so I just don’t post pictures with her in them. If you only keep facebook friends who you are close to and who respect your wishes, you should have a lot less of a problem.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton
@BurlapnLace: If someone you work with is making you uncomfortable and you’re not comfortable telling him that he’s making you uncomfortable, talk to HR! Your company should have a social media policy that would help with something like this.
Also, I disagree with everyone on the blocking – I’ve blocked people before and I can still see photos they are tagged in, I just can’t see that they are tagged. So if there was another way for him to see the photo (maybe through his girlfriend who is friends with your fiance, if they still are?) and there was info in the photo tying it to you without a tag, he’d be able to tell.
But still – talk to HR! They should be able to help.
Post # 13
@annb9: I figured it out, and this is where it gets me really pissed off: his girlfriend is friends with the person who posted the picture, so SHE showed this guy.
It sounds convoluted and ridiculous (because it is) but WHO F’ING DOES THAT??? I’ve made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR I don’t want anything to do with him. He comes into my office to talk and I don’t even acknowledge or engage, so he just leans on this table and stares at me. I kid you not.
Post # 14
@BurlapnLace: That’s so fucking CREEPY! Why are they BOTH so into you? I could understand if it was just the guy, if he has a little crush on you or something, but his girlfriend is in on it too? I feel like they’re going to kidnap and hold you hostage as a sex slave or something!
Sorry, I clearly watch too much Law & Order and other such shows.
Post # 15
@BurlapnLace: That’s creepy. Is your friend who posted the picture friends with him? Or, does she have her settings so everyone can see what she posts? That’s the only way I can think of he would have seen the picture.
ETA _ saw your update. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can really do about that other then ask your friends not to post pics of you? I don’t even know that you can go to HR and say he’s making me uncomfrotable because he comments to me about things on my facebook page? But, the whole creepy staring at you in your office would be something you could talk to them about. What a weirdo.
Post # 16
@BurlapnLace: “He comes into my office to talk and I don’t even acknowledge or engage, so he just leans on this table and stares at me. I kid you not.”
Time to talk to HR.