Post # 1
Ok I just need to vent about some family drama cause I think DH doesn’t want to hear about it anymore and I just need some input.
So my grandma is 85 and has raised my 22 year old cousin all of his life. His parents were never really involved, so my mom and dad picked up some of the slack and tried to help my grandma out by basically treating him as if he were their own kid. The whole nature vs nuture thing turned in the favor of nature, because as a teenager he quickly went downhill and got into alot of trouble. He’s continued to not do anything and lives off of my grandma because she would never kick him out.
My grandma was in the hospital last week with dizzy spells and chest issues. After a week and many tests, they determined she had a slight blockage in her heart but nothing enough to warrant surgery. They finally allowed her to go home on Friday. My cousin didn’t visit the hospital and never really checked in.
Yesterday he came home in the mid afternoon and started screaming at her to give him money. She refused because she didn’t have any – she lives on a very low strict income. She was really scared, and called my mom. It was decided that my grandma needed to move in with my parents for her health but mostly to make sure my cousin didn’t do anything stupid; however they didn’t want to spread around the main reason behind her relocation.
His sister posted a facebook status this morning asking people to pray for our grandma’s health and that she had to move in with my parents. I sent her a message just asking her to remove the part about where our grandma was living just because we didn’t want alot of people to know. She freaked out and sent back a horrible message saying that we weren’t the only people who care about my grandma and that she can do whatever she wanted because her profile was private.
I calmly responded that I simply wanted to protect my parents and grandma’s privacy about her housing situation and that it was fine to ask for prayers about her health. I didn’t want to tell her about her brother’s episode. She then responded that I was rude and horrible and had offended her on my blog. I’m really confused as to the blog thing because I’ve never mentioned her on it and I don’t discuss anything I wouldn’t say in public. She claimed she had the right to tell anyone she wanted where my grandma lived. We mostly don’t want my cousin (her brother) to believe he has the house completely to himself now and will go on a pawning spree. We also don’t want him to get the idea that he can try to ransack my parents home looking for my grandma’s money (he’s capable). She then said she would no longer dignify my messages with a response. I replied one last time telling her that her brother had scared my grandma and she didn’t want to stay with him. Please respect that and keep it quiet.
Am I in the wrong here or should I just let her post whatever she wishes? I feel like I need to stand up for my family, but she’s making it out to seem like I’m personally attacking her. Ugh the drama!!
Post # 3
Family business can sometimes be messy. It sounds like your cousin’s sister doesn’t realize what is going on. Can you trust her with the truth and ask her to help protect your grandma?
Someone may want to call the police and ask how you should best handle the cousin situation. If your grandma is afraid of him, a restraining order could be filed, but that is sometimes hard for family to do. This is certainly not an easy situation.
I hope your grandmother gets better and that your cousin realizes what he has done to contribute to her health issues.
I’ll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes.
Post # 4
Oh gawd. She’s one of those people that overreact even when they don’t know the whole story! Sometimes I feel the world is filled with people like her! It’s super annoying but the best way to deal with it is to ignore it. Talking rationally with someone incapable of it is just a waste of time and all it will do is frustrate you to no end! Try to ignore it and let her get all bent out of shape by her lonesome! Just mark it off as another idiot that has no idea what she’s talking about.
Get well soon grandma! As for the thug cousin, call the cops the minute he does something funny. Tough love.
Post # 5
Your cousin is using her FB status about your Grandma’s illness to garner attention for herself. It has very little to do with your Grandma I’m guessing. By saying that Grandma has to go live with someone it makes her sound much worse off than what may actually be taking place. Trying to reason with her is going to be like trying to reason in an adult manner with a 2 year old.
As for the “bad seed” . . . Consult someone, either a lawyer, family services, even the Police Department sometimes has officers that can explain legally your options without having to file charges. It sounds like a restraining order and escort off the property may be in order. Possibly relocating Grandma’s good “stuff” to a public storage unit may be in order.
Post # 6
I agree with puppymom on the storage unit! Are your parents/grandma planning on selling her house? Because then the storage unit will serve a double purpose. Your cousin, frankly, doesn’t deserve to know about the storage unit’s location or who has the keys.
Something legally needs to do done with your cousin. Your parents need to contact someone, be it a lawyer, police officer, whoever!
Also, your reaction to your other cousin is warranted, given your cousin’s behavior toward your grandmother. Eventually your cousin will end up finding out where grandma is once she’s not in her house BUT the public (your cousin’s friends who may not even know about her grandma) don’t need to/deserve to/have the right to know about your grandma’s life situations. I believe that what you did was correct and in the best interest of your family.
Post # 7
That stinks. My question is does the sister know what is going on? If not, I can sort of see her point. I doubt your grandma would ask her? Anyway, prayers!