- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
So I hate to be such a downer but I think I’ll feel a bit better if I get this all out.
My grandmother was diagnosed with stomach cancer about 3 weeks before our wedding after having some symptoms for about a year. She was able to attend the wedding and had a good time in spite of the pain she was in.
She did a couple rounds of pill chemo but we found out it isn’t working and unfortunately the cancer spread and is now obstructing her bile duct. The doctors tried to clear the obstruction but were unsuccessful. She decided she doesn’t want to try traditional chemo and is now back at my parents’ home (where she was living before) getting hospice care.
It has gotten to the point where she is no longer eating anything as the tumors have completely covered her stomach. She will drink a bit of water from time to time but is generally not taking in much fluids.
Luckily, she is as comfortable as can be as far as her pain goes. The hospice people have been fantastic about supporting my mom and helping her navigate all this. My grandmother is pretty drugged up most of the time but is in good spirits…as good as one can be when dying.
My DH and I are going up to see her tomorrow and spend he weekend there. It is quite possibly the last time I’ll get to see her. I’m just really struggling with this whole situation. I know this is what she wants and part of me is thankful she is not suffering for long, but it is still a lot to take in. She just declined so rapidly.
I’ve not ever had some one close to me die before. The closest thing was losing my dog of 12 years and I didn’t take that well at all. I feel completely numb and helpless. I can usually pack my stuff for a weekend trip in 10 minutes flat. It took me an hour to get all my stuff together tonight. I was pacing in circles and just crying.
Thanks if you are still reading this. I just need to let it out. Luckily, my DH is the sweetest man ever and is trying so hard to comfort me and feed me (my appetite goes out the window when I’m upset/stressed). If you bees are the praying kind, my family could use some prayers right about now.