(Closed) NWR – FMIL lied about pork cutlet…ha…VENT

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Meh annoying for sure! Although I have to say in the grand scheme of things if this is your biggest fmil issues you are golden!

Post # 4
Member
3802 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s annoying, but I dont see why it is a huge deal unless you dont eat those meats for a particular reason, such as dietary or religious. Then it would be rude, but it seems like she just wanted you to eat what she made.

Post # 5
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BellaDee:  It sounds as though his family really, really loves you.  I bet her reason for doing that is because she feels about you like a daughter and was hoping to coax you into trying it (you know, how Mom’s do, lol) and would have, at the point you took a bite and liked it (according to her wished-for “plan”), then she would have said, “Voila!  You like pork now!”  And that would have made her happy.  But since you saw the tray in advance, too bad for her, haha! 

Don’t be mad at her, it just sounds like it was a silly-Mom thing to do.  I wouldn’t consider it a lie, exactly, because she more than likely would have told you right after you’d taken a bite.  She must have a lot of confidence in her pork tenderloin recipe!  🙂

Post # 7
Member
4970 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it’s rude to try to get someone to eat something you know they won’t/can’t/etc. Why lie about it? What’s the point in that? I am a vegetarian, and people are always trying to get me to eat fish. I’m like..hello, it has a face, I don’t eat it. So stop pushing it on me!

Post # 9
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BellaDee:  It is strange that she never admitted it, maybe she was embarrassed?  I don’t blame you for being miffed because it’s how you treat a child, not a grown woman.  I don’t think people should ever try to force anyone to eat anything they don’t like/want. 

When I was much younger (age 16) I had dinner at my boyfriend’s house and the same kind of thing happened.  They were having stew.  His mother told me it was beef stew but it was really made from deer meat.  Everyone else at the table knew, except me, but with the first bite I immediately could tell that it was deer and not beef.  It tasted horrible to me, and I was pretty ticked off that she lied to me.  I’m sure the reason she lied to me was that she knew I didn’t like deer meat.

I didn’t eat it, I ate only the salad and bread and let it sit there.  I said something to my boyfriend later but not to her.  She never admitted that she lied to me, either. 

Post # 10
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Omg I have to ask is she Italian? Or German? This sounds like something my grandmothers would do–she was trying to have you eat it and like it to prove to you that you actually do like pork after all.

When I was vegetarian my Italian grandma would try that allll the time, trying to get me to eat sauce with meat in it–or stuffed mushrooms that were made with broth

My sister’s boyfriend’s Israeli mother got her to eat calf brains by telling her it was shellfish. Apparently they’re a delicacy there–and my sister thought they were pretty good until she found out what they were–then she was utterly disgusted.

@soyjoy222:  ummm the big deal is that she doesn’t eat it–and would never willingly eat it. Vegetarians don’t usually have religious reasons for avoiding meat, does it that make it ok to try to pass a beef burger as a veggie burger? It’s rude, any way you slice it.

I’m guessing that if someone slipped calf brains into your lobster roll you would be changing your tune.

Post # 11
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

That is so rediculous that she would lie about it. What did your FI do after he found out, did anyone ever tell your FMIL that you KNEW it wasn’t veal?

Post # 12
Member
11242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, that’s insane. I’m crazy picky (I don’t eat pork except occasional bacon) and I’ve definitely had people try stuff like this. Apparently, FMIL makes amazing pork chops…except that I won’t eat them. She doesn’t even make them anymore, though I’ve told her a million times that she is more than welcome to make them and I will just eat everything else. FI’s dad makes amazing biscuits and gravy, which I won’t eat. I don’t like the taste, and I don’t eat pork. When I mentioned that I wouldn’t eat them because I don’t eat pork, he asked me if I was Jewish. I was taken aback, although FI’s ex was Jewish, so I don’t think he was trying to be offensive.

I just don’t get it. If someone tells me that they don’t like/eat a food, I may inquire why (vegetarian? vegan? just plain picky?) and then leave it alone. It shouldn’t be a big deal! I actually went through this when FI and I started dating because his family didn’t understand that I won’t eat just anything. They kept asking me if there was anything that I DID eat. Um, yeah, I manage to feed myself daily.

Post # 13
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why’s it so wrong for FMIL to sneak some pork cutlets onto the OP’s plate when there’s tons of threads on this site about sneaking hidden veggies onto our DH’s plates or passing off ground beef for ground turkey?

The OP admits she eats other cuts of pork, and eats other cutlets, so we’re not talking about someone with an allergy or an ethical aversion to animal products.

So what makes it ok to sneak all sorts of stuff onto the plates of other fussy eaters but makes it rude for the FMIL to have done the same to the OP?  While I’m sure there will be the “hiding veggies is healthy for my husband’s diet” arguement, I’ll go ahead and counter-argue now: the OP’s fussy habits occasionally force her FFIL’s to cook a special plate for her, or lead to awkward dinnertable moments when she refuses FMIL’s cooking, so helping her get over those habits would be healthy to the family relationship, just like sneaking that hidden mushroom into DH’s pasta is healthy to his diet.

Not trying to pick on the OP. I just don’t think it was a rude thing and can’t believe how many people are crying foul when they recommend the exact same tricks!

Post # 14
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree…why lie? It was ridiculous for her to try to convince you it was something it wasn’t. What is it to her?

Post # 15
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@fishbone:  @Sunfire:  agree with both of these points… your FMIL was probably just trying to get you to try something “new”.  Understandable that you’re not a little kid nd it is sort of treating you like one.. but that’s what mom’s do to their kids.. and their future kids 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Maybe she wanted to see if you’d like pork if you didn’t know it was pork…if that makes sense. I’ve often wanted to do this to a friend who hates cauliflower, in every form, according to him. I am always tempted to make cauliflower mashed “potatoes” and see if he’ll even notice.

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