- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Made an anonymous account for this because of financial information I don’t want attached to my online persona.
My husband and I were married a few weeks ago, and the “friend” in question was a groomsman. Let’s call him Chris. He is my husband’s oldest friend, dating back to early elementary school when they grew up on the same street. I really don’t like Chris, he’s just very socially awkward and it’s painful to spend any amount of time with him because it takes him so long to speak, and he doesn’t take pauses in between his sentences to allow other people to participate in the conversation. I think he is an introvert who just never shuts up, as odd as that sounds. Enough outings spent with him and everyone seems to resent his domination of the conversations. If anyone speaks and he’s not in control of the chat anymore, he just interjects “But uh… um… uh… but uh…” the entire time anyone else is talking and jumps right back in wherever he was “cut off”. So, it already raises my blood pressure whenever I hear that he’s coming over, or he has invited himself to come out with us to any social event.
Chris works for one of those companies that makes them push life insurance and retirement plans and things like that, especially to their friends and family away from the office. I feel like everyone knows some young guy who works for these awful companies… they’re like telemarketers in real life. Chris has approached us several times trying to sell us these financial plans, and we decline every time. Sometimes these talks go on for hours (I eventually leave, but my guy is too nice to ask him to stop).
A few weeks ago he approached my husband about it yet AGAIN (he takes no social cues, you see), and my fiance said he was trying to focus on the wedding right then. Cue the week after our honeymoon, and Chris calls again trying to get us to set up an account with him. Husband tells him what I suggested he say – that his wife (me) is uncomfortable sharing our financial specifics with a friend. I inherited a large sum of money when my mother passed away last year. My fiance told him that, and his response was “Well that just doesn’t make sense!” and continued to argue his case, asking stupid questions like “Do you want a STRANGER for this?” WHAT? Finances are PRIVATE! It’s considered rude to talk about money even in close social circles, isn’t it?
Chris called back today, asking if my husband had anything going on tonight, to which he said no. Chris replies with “Great, see you at 8:30 then!” …..rude, inviting yourself to someone’s house like that… My husband asked him “This doesn’t have anything to do with [Chris’s company], does it? Because my answer is still a respectful no” To which Chris replies something like “What’s wrong with talking about my life?”. Chris kept his promise, sort of, and when he came over, they watched TV. Except for the part where I could hear from upstairs (I didn’t want to go down and see him… maybe I’m immature) where they were talking about the house that my husband and I are in the process of buying! And it sounds like my husband told him not only the exact price we are paying, but also told him that we made our offer as an all cash payment from the inheritance! I need to talk to husband about that, but I really can’t believe that Chris felt he had a place discussing our biggest purchase of our lives. Because he was giving a LOT of “advice”. He doesn’t even have an apartment, let alone a mortgage – he has lived with his mom this whole time for crying out loud. That’s how far I trust his financial advice.
Anyway, the biggest part of the whole night, is that about 15 minutes after he leaves our home, my husband is on the computer and goes “Ohhh shit. Oh shit. Ohhh shit.” I’m like WHAT. WHAT? Chris had posted our financial situation to Facebook.
“I have some friends who have $X and are planning to pay for a house in an all-cash payment. Here are some situations where I, SUPERMAN OF FINANCES, can invest that cash into 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS! [gives some bullshit in-a-perfect-world situations that involve spending/investing the $X in different ways] What option would you chose? [TAG]Mr. AnonBride13 [TAG]AnonBride13” (The “$X”s are actual dollar amounts)
I start sputtering so bad when I see that freaking status. That is PRIVATE PERSONAL INFORMATION, that in my opinion was NEVER his to even KNOW ABOUT, and he’s freaking posting it on facebook! Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if he left it at “my friends…” and never acrtually said who we were. But he TAGGED US! That means that status shows up on EVERY ONE of mine and husband’s friends’ newsfeeds. Suddenly, my private bank account balance pops up on the newsfeed of my family, friends, acquaintances, and the same for my husband’s friends, family, acquaintances, and Chris’s friends, family, and acquaintances. That’s over 1000 people who suddenly know how much money we have. I already have a hatred for this money as it is (It came as a result of the death of my mother, my best friend in the world) and it has only caused problems because everyone wants to borrow money from the girl with the extra cash.
At this point I’m crying again. I don’t know what to do. I know I’m going to call his company in the morning to report his actions to their HR. I didn’t screenshot the post before he deleted it, so I have no proof for them, but I hope I have enough faith that his bosses will have a very serious talk with him about potential client privacy. I honestly hope he gets fired, but I doubt it. I know I will not welcome him into our home ever again, but honestly I was never thrilled that he came over in the first place. My husband has gone to bed, but I hope he feels the same way and considers the friendship over.
I really feel like I know how women feel when their exes post nude pics of them to the internet. It’s such a blatant breach of privacy, and I feel so exposed now. Ugh.