Post # 1
My FI hasn’t really met most of my family and there really isn’t an opportunity coming up. I honestly was planning on having fam meet him closer to our wedding day. Recently a great-uncle of mine passed. I wasn’t close with him or his immediately family. My extended family was, having lived near him. Regardless, he passed away and I plan on attending the funeral service next week out of respect. So here’s my question- do I bring FI with me? This is obviously the worst time to play introductions, nor would I want to detract from the solemnity of the moment with tagging him along. However, I do want him included an family events and think it would be kind of him to pay his respects.
Am I totally uncouth in wondering if I should bring him? What should I do? Leave him home? Bring him along and have him meet family while paying his respects?
Post # 2
People get introduced at funerals, as the deceased usually know people from different things. I would bring him, I would want the support.
Post # 3
I think it’s very weird and awkward to go to the funeral of someone I’ve never met and who wasn’t close to my partner. I think it might be best for your Fi to sit this one out.
Post # 4
Horseradish: right, but I wasn’t asking about personal opinions of “weirdness”, rather what proper etiquette says. Thanks, though.
Does anyone have any rules of etiquette on this one they can offer?
Post # 5
I don’t know that there’s any formal etiquette about this. To me, I would bring himm but not make a big fuss over him, if that makes sense. You’re not bringing him “to introduce him”, you’re bringing him for support and because he’s a major part of your life now and involved in all aspects, including this one.
Post # 6
coffeedrinker: well since you put it that way, google tells me : “as a general rule, most people do not attend the funerals of strangers.” Your great uncle is a stranger to your Fi and you yourself were not close to the deceased, hence your need for emotional support should not be significant to the point that you would require an escort. When you compare your desire to introduce your fiancé to your extended family with the potential for some family members to prefer to grieve with loved ones and no strangers, the polite thing to do would be to attend without your fiancé.
Post # 7
Horseradish: absolutely, I just don’t want to also run the risk of family asking where FI is and why he couldn’t make it, as I’m certain a few might ask. Trust me, I’ve been googling this for over an hour and I have yet to find any good hits.
Post # 8
coffeedrinker: bring him. He should be there as a sign of support for you and also to show his respect for your family members who were close with the deceased. As long as you behave appropriately (don’t wave your ring in people’s faces fishing for compliments or start showing off your pinterest boards) there is no reason your fiancé shouldn’t attend. He is part of your family now.
Post # 9
There is no reason he should not attend. Unfortunately in the past 3 months since we’ve got engaged, we’ve been to 2 funerals. And we’ve each been introduced and each one. Not a big deal. I don’t think it’s rude at all.