NWR: Good Lord, GIVE ME STRENGTH.

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@QueenOfSerendip:  Why does he control it? I’m not sure how old you are, but shouldn’t rights to it go over to your DH after a certain age?

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsPanda99:  +1 that was my questions too why it wasn’t handed over at a certain age. I guess I don’t really know how trust funds work.

Post # 6
Member
5688 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@QueenOfSerendip:  Trusts can be structured all kinds of ways so 26 isn’t necessarily “old enough”. Do you have a trust officer you can contact directly about releasing the funds?

Post # 8
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Why on EARTH does he want you to have an adjustible rate mortgage???!! Rates are at a low right now, why would you not lock that in??? He sounds like an idiot.

Post # 9
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@QueenOfSerendip:  If the grandparents are still living can DH go directly to them about how Uncle is handling the fund?

Post # 10
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with PPs, try to get the trust fund under your husband’s control. If I’m understanding it correctly, his grandparents set it up for him and put his uncle in charge of it? If they started it, I believe they still have rights to sign over conrol to whoever they please.

I would start by talking to your grandparents asap, about how controlling and weird your uncle is being about it, and ask them if it would be in their power to tranfer the control to you guys. 

If for whatever bizarre reason they cannot transfer or don’t want to, then I would NOT use the money for the down payment. If honestly sounds like your uncle is creating all these hoops for your guys to jump through in order to get your money, using the down payment as an excuse, to keep the money out of your hands. I agree with PP, your uncle is kinda an idiot if he wants you to get an adjustable rate rather than a fixed, and to have that as one of his “conditions” might come back to bite YOU GUYS later, not him.

Finance your down payment in another way (and with the housing market like it is, I’ve heard that a lower down payment might not be bad in some cases, and actually good in others? dont quote me on that), and tell your uncle you want to withdraw all the money right now and not use it for the down payment, put in in savings or something. Somehow get the money OUT of his control because he is not being smart about this at all. You guys are adults, married, and you deserve to have control over your own money and not have your uncle police you.

Post # 11
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@JrzyGurl:  +1. I would approach it as DH being excited to be entering this great new phase in his life (home ownership) and how he feels ready for the responsibility of managing the trust himself. Otherwise, if he sounds like he’s whining about his uncle, it might not go over well with the grandparents.

Good luck OP!

Post # 12
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@ladybrick:  “I agree with PPs, try to get the trust fund under your husband’s control. If I’m understanding it correctly, his grandparents set it up for him and put his uncle in charge of it? If they started it, I believe they still have rights to sign over conrol to whoever they please.

I would start by talking to your grandparents asap, about how controlling and weird your uncle is being about it, and ask them if it would be in their power to tranfer the control to you guys. 

Somehow get the money OUT of his control because he is not being smart about this at all. You guys are adults, married, and you deserve to have control over your own money and not have your uncle police you.

+1.

Have him discuss everything that is happening with his grandparents and get their opinion on the situation.

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