Post # 1
Maybe this is a stupid thing to be frustrated about, but a coworker of mine really ticked me off today and I wanted to get some opinions from other people.
We were talking about hair and I said that I was going to get my hair cut now that the wedding was over. I told her just a few inches, nothing too major. She said she thought I should go really short and that it would be cute. I told her my husband doesn’t really like short hair so I wasn’t going to. Her response to this was that I shouldn’t be “letting my husband tell me what to do” and she would never let a guy tell her what to do (she’s single BTW) I didn’t say he wouldn’t let me do it… I said he has expressed to me before he’s not too fond of short hair. Why would I want to do something intentionally to my appearance that my husband *might* think was less attractive? Does anyone else feel this way? Would you cut/color your hair some way that your SO has said they don’t like?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t do something he doesn’t like but I personally don’t like really short hair either so it doesn’t bother me that I can’t chop it all off because he wouldn’t like it.
Post # 4
My FI has said he prefers longer hair and I’m humoring him right now and not cutting it because 1) All my money is going to the wedding and I can’t afford a decent haircut and 2) I want to make sure my hair is long enough to go back how I want it for the wedding. But as soon as we get back from he honeymoon you better believe it’s going to be shorter. In my opinion, whether I’m married or not, I am the only person who has any control over my personal appearance. He may prefer longer hair but he’s not the one who has to wash it, dry it and make sure it looks decent every day.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
I just posted about this yesterday:
Does your SO’s opinion have any influence on your clothes or hair?
I don’t want to completely dismiss the boy’s opinions, but I will wear my hair any way I like, regardless of his opinion.
If you were DYING to cut your hair short and he didn’t want you to, that would be one thing. But if you’re just trying to look nice for him, I think that your coworker may have been a bit out of line with what she said.
Post # 6
Wow, the nerve of some people. Looks like she has some issues SHE needs to deal with on her own that she is projecting on to you.
No I would not get a dress, hairstyle, haircolor, etc. that my FI has explicitly conveyed disinterest with. The same way I don’t want him wearing jerseys everywhere, growing out his beard, or wearing sneakers to everything. It’s a compromise and that is what marriage is. No wonder she is single…
Post # 7
I do what I want with regards to hair, clothes etc. He likes me for me, he doesn’t like me just because of my hairstyle. I chopped my hair off when we first started dating, even though he said he liked long hair better. After I got it chopped he thought it looked great and even liked it better than my long hair on me. Maybe your coworker could have expressed her opinion in a nicer way, but that doesn’t mean her opinion isn’t a valid one.
Post # 8
I believe the reason your coworker said that is because of the way you stated yoru reason for not cutting your hair. I feel similarly about wanting to be attractive to my fh (I would cut it though if I really wanted to).
She said: “Why don’t you cut your hair really short? It would look so cute”
You said: “My husband doesn’t like short hair, so I am not going to.”
She Heard: “My husband won’t let me.”
While you were trying to just say you want to feel attractive to him, she believed you were being controlled by him. I do think she interpreted you incorrectly. With some people you just have to be careful exactly how you word things so that there is no room for misintrepretation. I am HOPING then when you explained that he did not tell you you could or could not that she backed off.
I am sure your hair will look great no matter how you cut it 😉 And don;t be annoyed, she isn’t worth it.
Post # 9
She doesn’t know what she is talking about. Another one of those people that make judgements and assumptions when they know nothing about your situation. I would just ignore her comment.
As for what you are asking, I consider myself a bit of a feminist- and it is about choice. I can change my hair if I want, or do to it what my husband likes best. I love my husband, so I want him to be happy. However, if I want to do my own thing to my own head- I certainly will. And, he is great, so he will be supportive. There is nothing wrong with pleasing your husband- if that is what YOU want to do. She is making a judgement about your relationship when she isn’t even in it. It is between you and him. Relations are give and take. My husband does what I want him to do with HIS hair 🙂
Post # 10
My FI likes my hair longer, but if I want to cut it, he’d have no problem. Which I think I might do THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING. My hair hasn’t been this long since high school….I’m getting sick of it!
Post # 11
I honestly think a lot of women are overly defensive about this sort of thing because it CAN be a sign of a controlling partner if they forbid you to make your own choices about your appearance. However, I value my husband’s opinion because he has good taste! I love shopping with him — he almost never steers me wrong! So if he said that he didn’t like my hair a certain way, I would probably not keep it that way because I want to be attractive to him, and I trust his opinion in general.
Post # 12
I do what I want with my hair regardless of what he thinks. I think it is weird to say you will not cut it short just because he doesn’t like short hair. I think the co worker was a little rude however it sounded like you were using what your fiancee thinks as an excuse or reason why you would never cut it. I am a hairdresser/makeup artist though so my guy knows it comes with the territory lol
Post # 13
I think it’s sweet when a wife wears her hair a certain way (or dresses a certain way) because her husband has said he likes it. To me it’s not a control thing at all, just a sign of love (plus, I’ve heard over and over that guys are visual people :-D).
Now if your husband DEMANDED that you wear your hair a certain way, that would be a diferent story entirely. It’s still your choice, but nice when you choose something out of love for your husband :-).
I’m lucky that my husband likes my hair short (though he’s joked that he wouldn’t love me if I buzzed all my hair off 😉 but I wouldn’t do that anyhow)