Weddingbee boards

So I started a job about 3 months ago and was really excited to start. Since that time, I've tried to learn about this place as I'm supposed to do their marketing; however, the woman who "trained" me hates all my ideas. She goes to our boss and bad mouths everything I do to him and, when I help her, she never mentions that. She talks to people like I can't hear her and then is nice as can be to my face. I just don't know what to do.

What's even worse is she thinks she knows grammar better than I do. I have an English degree (no, I don't care about grammar and spelling as much on the internet, so pardon any mess ups. I reread everything that I write professionally.) and she's getting an Associates in Computer Graphics (I went to night school too, but there's no way I'd question a 4 year degree holding English major with comments like "a sentence can only have 23 words and a paragraph can only have 4 sentences.) She thinks my correct grammar is "too formal" because I refuse to use "you" and start EVERY sentence with "we."

To top it all off, she's supposed to report to me, but she makes sure I know nothing about dinners, seminars, or proposals until she assigns them to me. I'm completely at a loss. She makes sure that I appear as her underling to everyone.

Anyone have some ideas on how to help me?

Our boss thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread. However, all the other high ups know she's awful, but refuse to fire her.

I talked to HR and was told everyone knows. How crazy is that? I wouldn't care as much if my husband wasn't laid off two weeks before our wedding.

@stephinPA: There's another woman who's done that for 3 years and it's done nothing.

@Edina: It's all dismissed at chick fighting. It's so ridiculous!

I would also like to add that another way to make sure that you know about meetings and the like would be to send an e-mail to your group/company re-introducing yourself, explaining what your job role is, and who your direct reports are (therefore making it be known that this woman reports to you), asking that you be notified directly of any meetings, dinners, etc. so that you can better plan the workload of yourself and your direct reports.

Also, request that your team member share her calendar with you so that you will know how her time is being used.

Dinners, seminars, and proposals should be coming directly to you. There is no reason that she should be assigning you work. If the e-mail and the calendar sharing don't fix the problem, you may need to schedule a "come to Jesus" meeting with this employee to let her know her behavior is unacceptable. Unfortunately, I have found that it's sometimes harder to work with women than men. I have found that the direct approach usually works though.

@JamaicaBride: I've tried nicely asking her to include me on all emails to clients or anything concerning marketing. Her response: to go crying (actual tears running down her 50 something year old cheeks) to our boss and then I was told I still "needed to learn a lot, so everything should go through her."

Maybe I should just find a new job as I've tried basically all the suggestions or someone else has.

@TheFutureMcBride: I hate to say it...but I am going to have to agree. I am curious about why they hired you instead of promoting her and backfilling her position. Emotional blackmail obviously carries more weight than professionalism around there.

Side note: I wouldn't have asked her. I would have compiled a list of clients and sent out an e-mail explaining what my title was and that I would be responsible for marketing, etc. and for them to contact me if they have questions, need info, etc. I would include her on the e-mail and put a little blurb in about how appreciative you are of your co-worker for helping you transition into your role (even if you didn't feel that way) and how she will be assisting you while you become acclimated to your new role. I think if you just take control of the situation and lay it out as a done deal, there isn't much she could do after the fact. Yeah she could cry to your boss, but if the clients are already informed of the change...there isn't much even he can do after the fact.

@JamaicaBride: That's a great idea. My question is I work at a company where we work with local, state, and federal governments on term contracts. When they want something, they email or call us, but when they don't need us, a lot of them don't want to be bothered. Also, the receptionist and she are friends, so I can't convince the receptionist to give me calls.

@TheFutureMcBride: I would still send out the e-mail just as an FYI. It's possible that the clients don't know about you, or at least don't understand that you are actually the one in charge and not the other woman. It's also a great opportunity to give the clients YOUR contact info so that they CAN get in touch with you. There is no telling what this woman has communicated to the clients. As for the receptionist, if the clients start asking for you by name, I don't think she would be willing to risk her job by not forwarding you the calls.

Once you have done all you can and nothing changes, then definitely consider a new position elsewhere.

@moderndaisy: The boss tried for a day to get involved with what goes on in marketing, but he stopped caring.

@JamaicaBride: I'm going to get a list together and talk to the managers handling each client. Maybe I can get in on the next meeting.

@TheFutureMcBride: I am sending positive vibes your way!! Keep us updated and good luck!!

@JamaicaBride: I need it. I've never felt physically ill just thinking about work and never believed it could happen, but I do now. I just don't understand why women must treat each other so poorly.