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NWR: How to choose a church?

posted 3 years ago in Christian
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    1.
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    2,099 posts
    Buzzing bee
    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    My unofficial fiancee and I are looking for a church that suits both of us.  We've been going to his Cowboy Church (probably best described as evangelical), but I'm not comfortable there and it's 40 miles away.  (FI once caught me shaking my head while the pastor was talking about how the husband is the boss.  He was amused, I was mortified.) 

    I was raised Quaker and would still attend Meeting, but the closest one is also 40 miles away.  Universal Unitarianism caught my eye, but FI wants something more Bible-centric.  My grandmother attended the United Church of Christ and while I never got to attend service there I've heard really good things and the minister is fantastic.  (Too bad that one's 100 miles away and there's not one here!)

    Neither of us are very well-versed the different denominations and so are having a hard time narrowing down our options.  If you google Cheyenne, WY church you get quite a list.  There surely has to been one that suits us both!

    Thanks so much!  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! 

     
    2.
    Bee
    1,807 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bunny    July 3, 2009  

    I would look to see what's in your area and check out statements of faith on their Web sites (if they have them) to see which most closely match your beliefs.

    That said, I've found that connecting with people at the church is oftentimes more important to me than agreeing with every single theological point. The important thing is to have a pastor that makes you think and to be surrounded by people who are seeking God!

    I agree with your fiance, though about the UU church. The fundamentals of Christianity just aren't there and that's a dealbreaker for me. 

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    Bee
    882 posts
    Busy bee
    powderpuff    July 11, 2009   Chicago

    I agree with lmariea. It's more important to find a church where you bond with the other people who attend, and have a supportive pastor committed to growing himself and the church closer to God, rather than agreeing with every tiny theological belief. That's never going to happen, realistically.

    Definitely check out the Web sites of the churches in your area, and when you see one you like, go and attend a service! It's a long process, but it will be worth it when you find a church you like. :)

    Good luck!

     
    4.
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    Blushing bee
    teamzeewagen    10/10/2009   Chicago

    I'm facing a similar dilemma caitlanc.  I was raised UCC (Congregational) and LOVED my church growing up.  As I've grown up and decided to start going back to church (wasn't going to happen in my 20s), I've been struggling with where to go.  My FI was raised Catholic, but because this issue is more important to me than it is to him, he'll go along with whatever I like.  The trouble is that the church of my youth still sees me as a "kid" and all the other local UCC churches just haven't felt quite right (Good lord, yesterday's had a rock band, I'm really more of an organ and handbell choir type).  Though my identity is so entrenched in Congregationalism, I'm thinking I may have to look outside to find the right fit. 

    I agree with the PPs.  Scour the statements of faith, but don't let wording completely discourage you.  My FI constantly teases me for belonging to a "wishy-washy church with Christianity lite,"  (Such a charmer, that one). While I feel a little uncomfortable about the mission work or evangelization aspect of some other relatively liberal denominations, it really comes down to THAT particular congregation's  vibe.  You're going to have to suffer through a lot of uncomfortable services, but you WILL find one that works!  (By the way, Quakers ROCK!)

     
    5.
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    2,099 posts
    Buzzing bee
    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    Thanks for the responses!  I definitely have been put off by some of the evangelizing statements on some of the websites, but I think you're right.  It's the pastor and the congregation that are the most important.  The boy was just really afraid of being 'homeless' for years, going to a different church every week so I was hoping there was a way to narrow the options down.  

    Time to get down and dirty in the trenches I guess!  :-) 

     

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