Sign up   Login  
Not sure what to do. Need serious pet advice :'( (long)
more by MrsWishyWashy
If you could only have ONE cookbook what would it be?
Introducing Myself
more in Weddingbee
Hive acronyms
I'm her Mr. Sign (COMPLETED)
more in Boards
Can someone answer my questions?

NWR How would you take this? A threat?

posted 5 months ago in Weddingbee
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    MrsWishyWashy    September 1, 2012   Arkansas

    Okay bees, I need some perspective.

    I am a kindergarten teacher. I have a student this year who is being raised by her "guardian" and is in the midst of a horrible custody battle. I do not know the particulars. However, this child was in the news earlier this year because her biological mom tried to kidnap her away from her "guardian" at gunpoint. There have even been attempted kidnappings at school.

    Anyway, the "guardian" is a very threatening woman. Just a few days ago I had a meeting with her and was so uncomfortable I had to have security present. She did not make any overt threats. She did say that she was going to ask to have the child removed from my class. (She thinks incorrectly that I am singling the girl out). I am not. The girl has major behavior problems, including biting other children.

    So then today I get a note that says...

    "Just know we are all covered in the blood of Jesus."

    I'm shaking. I feel like it is a very thinly veiled threat. What do you think?

     
    2.
    Member
    1,657 posts
    Bumble bee
    figgnewton    October 4, 2012   EDD

    @MrsWishyWashy:  First off, creepy. Second, I would report it. I would tell the principal and then security. That's not a normal note or something you just randomly say.

     
    3.
    Member
    975 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms.Pink    November 12, 2011   The south

    I don't even know what that means... I would turn it in to whomever you report to, and see what they say. How scary for you!

     
    4.
    Member
    7,067 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    abbie017    March 16, 2013  

    While I think it's inappropriate, and for the sake of the child she should be removed from your classroom (it sounds fairly toxic between the guardian and you, and the child may pick up on that or hear about it at home, thus poisoning her behavior further in your classroom), I don't think it was meant as a threat.  It sounds like she's a religious woman trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants by invoking religion.

    That being said, I may address it with my superiors.

     
    5.
    Member
    2,011 posts
    Buzzing bee
    FauxBoho    March 15, 2014  

    I have no idea what that means but I would take it up as a straight up threat. Nothing thinly veiled about it. Report her immediately.

     

     
    6.
    Member
    1,443 posts
    Bumble bee
    arsing89    September 21, 2014   Pennsylvania

    I would report it! That is not only scary, but extremely creepy!

     
    7.
    Member
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    Stoppy321    December 21, 2013   Virginia

    It's odd, because the quote means we are all forgiven by Jesus. Is it possible the guardian is just hyper vigilant because of all of the things going on with her child? 

    I feel like this might be easier to interpret if you could tell us other things about the woman.

     
    8.
    Member
    3,286 posts
    Sugar bee
    Hyperventilate    June 15, 2013   Oklahoma City

    A threat? No.

    More of like, a "stern reminder", yes.

    I'd turn it in and be done with it, however. Do what you need to do for the child's sake and well being, though. That should be your priority.

     
    9.
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    Mrs.LloydDobler    September 22, 2012   West Virginia

    Thinly veiled? No. Notify the principal immediately. In light of recent events, take everything seriously, especially since it is making you feel this way. Make sure that this is documented and proper precaution is followed.

     
    10.
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    HisAngel    July 2013  

    @MrsWishyWashy:  As a fellow  teacher, this would be on my principal's desk immediately!

     
    11.
    Member
    1,736 posts
    Bumble bee
    rachelmichelle    March 2, 2013   Orlando, Florida

    That expression, in Christianity, simply means that Jesus atoned for all of our sins and that we are forgiven.

    It seems a little out of context here... I'm not sure why she'd send this to you. It seems extremely odd.

    In any case, it seems that if her guardian really is this imposing, perhaps it would be better for everyone for the girl to be moved to a different class anyway.

     
    12.
    Member
    4,587 posts
    Honey bee
    throughthebarricades    September 29, 2013   Canada

    @MrsWishyWashy:  Report it! I am thinking that w. the recent school tragedy, any kind of threat will be taken very seriously.

    Don't fight her being removed from your class. If anything, I think you will be better completely out of the situation.

     
    13.
    Member
    2,119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    ohmybears48    September 28, 2013   Chicago

    First of all, tell your principal about the note and copy him on all communications between the two of you from now on. Start a folder, and do not delete or toss any of what she says. 

    Secondly, I do not think it is a threat. It's a religious saying that means that you are all are covered by Jesus's sacrafice. It's meant to be a like a "protection" for believers. It's just an odd and inapporpriate phrase to use, but if she is using it biblically, she may mean that you sinned in her eyes, but that she feels that your sins are covered. 

    Really, I have no idea because I am not religious, but my grandma says this to me all of the time. Creepy when you're not in the faith. 

     
    14.
    Member
    1,224 posts
    Bumble bee
    OctBride-2012    October 23, 2012   Baltimore, MD

    All communication you have with the guardian and/or anyone else associated with the child should be reported to the prinicpal no matter the content (good, bad, indifferent). 

    After what's she's been through it's no wonder the child has behavioral problems.  :(

     
    15.
    3,217 posts
    Sugar bee
    6598731ssfse3    November 16, 2012  

    I don't understand what that means, since I am not religious. But it sounds creepy. Any advice I would say has already been given by PPs, but I wish you the best of luck in this difficult situation. It's so sad when children are in the middle of adult problems, especially ones that are so scary and violent! (Referring to the gunpoint thing)

     
    16.
    Member
    4,371 posts
    Honey bee
    Caroheart    August 31, 2013   NJ

    I don't think it's a threat, but I would report it anyway. This woman sounds crazy and I hope that little girl gets a stable presence in her life

     
    17.
    Member
    6,402 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Sunfire    September 2012   US

    @MrsWishyWashy:  Omg, poor you.  Please report this!!

     
    18.
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    FutureMrsSIlas    April 27, 2013   Beaumont, Texas

    I say its a threat and you should report it. If she is making threats to you who knows what she could be doing to the child at home and behind closed doors.

     
    19.
    Member
    2,906 posts
    Sugar bee
    claireos    September 8, 2012   Maryland

    The phrase alone is, yes, religious and if it were purely religious it would be inappropriate but harmless. Given the context and your history with her I would not be interpreting it as an innocent religious "reminder." I would personally interpret it as a potential personal threat and would report her immediately. The last thing I would want is to shrug it off as "purely religious" and find out I was sorely mistaken.

     
    20.
    Member Icon
    4,326 posts
    Honey bee
    Cady    April 21, 2012   California

    I would give it to the principal.... I am not religious, but I still know what it means and I think it is weird of her to give you that note. Also, who knows how she interprets that saying herself. To protect yourself, I would report it immediately. I would also just have that girl moved from your classroom.

     
    21.
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    MrsWishyWashy    September 1, 2012   Arkansas

    Thank you everyone for the quick comments!

    My principal is not here today but I emailed her (so its in writing) and I have made copies of everything.

    As a side note, I am Christian. I understand what it means in the right context. Its the context, and this woman's history, that have me very freaked out.

    I'm also going to talk to my union rep just to make sure I am protected from that angle. I'll have to wait and see what I do further, depending on how my principal handles the situation.

     

     
    22.
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    MrsWishyWashy    September 1, 2012   Arkansas

    @Stoppy321:  I don't know a lot about the woman. She is very aggressive. To the point where whenever she is on the school grounds, security is alerted. She has made threats in the past. She had such a threatening tone in our meeting that I flagged down our security officer and had him sit in. I let the administration do all the talking because honestly this woman is very imposing and scary.

    In her note, she also said that if I have anything to say, to call her and not "relay messages" through a 5 year old. Which is not really possible. If the girl does something inappropriate I have to talk to her about it.

    She also refuses to sign any referrals that the girl has received because I'm just picking on her.

    I feel so sorry for the girl. She told me today that her "guardian" said I'm jealous of her. So crazy.

    Some of my coworkers have said, "She's just trying to scare you. Don't let it get to you." I call bullshit on that! First of all, it worked. Second of all, even that would not be okay.

    ETA My husband, who is very level headed, said if the principal doesn't do anything, I should report it to the police. I just don't know...

     
    23.
    Member Icon
    Member
    324 posts
    Helper bee
    redness82    September 28, 2013   Minneapolis, Mn

    Please report this, and do as you have been doing.  On another note, please be careful on what you write about your students on the internet, in email, etc, as people may be able to figure out who this student is by your description, internet searches, etc.  That is a violation of data privacy, and would hate to see you in trouble for that!

    On the flip side, you definitely need to talk to someone about this and have the ability to vent (believe me, as sped teacher, I totally understand!).  This might not be the right avenue with such specifics. 

    Good luck and be safe.

     
    24.
    Member
    1,014 posts
    Bumble bee
    Sunflower--girl       

    Could you go to social services?  I would also tell your union rep and principal.  This woman seems "off"  to me.  Did the note say anything else?

     
    25.
    Member
    2,767 posts
    Sugar bee
    KateByDesign    October 29, 2011   Virginia

    For clarification sake, you know the note came from her?  Did she have the child deliver the note to you?

    I would be very scared.  I don't think this is an empty threat and I would involve the police.

     
    26.
    Member
    3,495 posts
    Sugar bee
    Nona99    April 25, 2008   Colorado

    I would certainly report the note, but don't let this scare you.  Being covered in the blood of Jesus could be a religious reminder that we're all God's children and should be treated equally, as graphic as the image is, I have heard it mentioned in several religious ceremonies and sects. 

    As far as this woman's odd behavior and what the child tells you about her, remember that this information is coming from a child, and could be misinterpreted or embellished at her will, and also remind yourself that the door swings both ways, has it ever occurred to you that this child with behavior problems could be embellishing or lying to her guardian about the things that you do and say with her? 

    I would hazard a guess that the problem is not in fact her guardian, however strange she may be, and look to the only constant factor, the child.  Odds are good she's manipulating the truth in order to distract from the real problem, her, and gaslighting the two of you into a battle royale over things that never actually happened.

    Cut out the problem in your line of communication, and find a way to contact her guardian directly without having to involve the child, I'm sure it will be an enlightening experience for the both of you to find out what she says happened versus the truth.

     
    27.
    Member
    5,129 posts
    Bee Keeper
    ChuckNorris    March 2012  

    @figgnewton:  +1

     

     
    28.
    Member Icon
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    SeaSalt    September 1, 2013  

    That whole situation seems volatile and unstable.

    Like others, i interpreted the note as a forgiveness thing (when I think "blood of jesus", that's what comes to mind) BUT it really doesn't matter how it's interpreted by me, it matters how it was intended by the writer. The news is full of people interpreting religious texts to suit their ideals or justify their actions.

    I would definitely report it to your principal.

    That poor, poor child. :(

    ETA: Please be extra vigilant about your own safety. There's a lot of unstable folks out there, and it seems you've caught the attention of one.

     
    29.
    Member
    1,239 posts
    Bumble bee
    roweboat    September 30, 2012   Michigan

    This woman comes across to me as having deeper issues than just being aggressive. I get the sense that she may be mentally ill. If the principal doesn't do anything, I would go with what your DH says, and report it to the police. You never know what people will do anymore.

     
    30.
    Member Icon
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    SeaSalt    September 1, 2013  

    One more thing--I would start now documenting every interaction you have with this woman (dates, times, what was said, witnesses if any). If things escalate (more crazy notes, more overt threats, etc) then it will assist you should you need to call the police, or if your employer fails to act.

     
    31.
    Member Icon
    Member
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    KKG    April 27, 2013  

    Please report it. She doesn't sound like a stable person. She clearly has intentions that are not so great if she leaves you odd little notes like that. Document any meetings with her, and report them as soon as possible. Please handle any encounter with this woman a threat.

     
    32.
    1,016 posts
    Bumble bee
    jmaze    June 21, 2014  

    Report it to the school and local police department.

     
    33.
    Member
    2,726 posts
    Sugar bee
    stillme    June 8, 2013   EDD

    @Mrs.LloydDobler:  +1

    I don't know what this note is supposed to mean, but anything connecting "blood" with little kids... no. Report it.

     
    34.
    Member
    3,668 posts
    Sugar bee
    redheadem    September 30, 2012   NYC/MD

    I wonder if your school can let the child's social worker know that this woman is threatening. If the school has this child'd social worker's contact info, they should definitely be alerted.

     
    35.
    Member Icon
    Member
    5,797 posts
    Bee Keeper
    MrsWBS       

    @MrsWishyWashy: creepy. no idea what that even means. report it to principal and police immediately though. if I were you I'd want that kid gone from my class so I didn't have to deal with her crazy drama parents!

     
    36.
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    SweetDeeReynolds    March 2013  

    I think you've gotten a lot of good feedback about how to protect yourself in this situation, which definitely sounds unsettling and scary for you. I'm feeling concerned about the impact of the trauma of attempted kidnappings at gunpoint on this child. I'm not in the school psych. part of psychology so I don't know it works for teachers in a school setting. Are you able to check in with the school psychologist at your school to see if a referral can be made for the child to talk to somebody? I imagine the inappropriate behaviors you are observing in the child are related to her experiences and family system.

     
    37.
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    MrsWishyWashy    September 1, 2012   Arkansas

    I met with my principal (who finally came back to the school) and showed her the note. Her immediate reponse was, "That's not a threat. It says that in the bible." I said it certainly sounds threatening to me considering the person and the context.

    She then called security and was going to set up a meeting with me, security, the principal, and the guardian. However, the guardian wasn't able to make it. So I spoke with security who wasn't really concerned at all. He did say he would call her and ask her what her comment meant.

    I'm just going to document everything and not be alone with this person. So creepy!

    ETA My principal will not move the child. Hopefully this will not escalate. Luckily winter break starts Friday!

     
    38.
    Member
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    fallsgirl    October 12, 2013  

    @MrsWishyWashy:  As a formerly religious person, I guess you could interpret it as saying that Jesus redeemed us all with his blood.... which isn't very threatening, and maybe means "we're all sinners". That being said, I generally believe in trusting your gut. Notifying security and alerting them to a POTENTIAL threat is probably a good first step. They may be able to help it from escalating into something more serious.

    Edit: Or, notifying security doesn't do anything... but hey, at least it's documented. Just keep doing what you're doing. Hopefully the guardian is more bark than bite.

     
    39.
    Member
    1,359 posts
    Bumble bee
    romantical    April 20, 2013  

    I would go with my gut, OP..!  If your gut is telling you that you should be worried, then definitely let security know to keep close watch.

    Not to thread-jack, but I had a woman give me a "letter from the Devil".. This letter basically stated "I hate you because...... [many good qualities one could possess]", signed by Satan.  The funny thing is she actually really liked me as a person and told me she was giving this letter for me to read because of that.  Some people are really just loony!  The scary thing is that you never know what someone may be capable of though...

     
    40.
    Member
    1,521 posts
    Bumble bee
    niasg1        boston

    I know it is unsettling and you have to protect yourself. This guardian is under a lot of pressure this is not an excuse but she needs counseling to deal with the feelings and fears she is dealing with. This child is under the same pressures that is why she is acting out. This is a tough assignment. Please be careful...

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.

    No tags yet.





    Copyright 2004-2013, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee


    More
    User Posts Today
    This Time Round 23
    Laurenplusalex 23
    AlwaysSunny 22
    Anna10-05-2014 20
    goingtotherooftopoflove 20
    RockStar33 19
    Rubbs 19
    MrsPanda99 19
    Utopia4us 18
    mypinkshoes 18
    User Posts Today
    blondiegirl 6
    Holly77 2
    MissPaigey 2
    StarryNight2011 1
    dannielle89 1
    cirk 1
    littlemiss511 1
    sealevels 1
    MarriedtoMedSchool 1
    Celliaanne 1

    Favors by Weddingbee

    Shop Now ยป


    Weddingbee

    More